Today, the pizza delivery guy and I know more about each other than me and my family ever have. FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I realized that the only boy that shows up at my door is the pizza boy. FML
Today, I opened the door to a pizza delivery guy. I hadn't order any, but I thought maybe my roommate had. As he handed me the box, I said, "Thanks, you too" when he told me to enjoy my meal. He stopped, looked confused, and said, "Wait, what?" before leaving. I then realized my roommate was out of town and I’d just taken someone else’s pizza. FML
Today, the pizza delivery guy saw me in my underwear. My boyfriend is so ashamed of me that he pointed out to the guy twice that we were just roommates. FML
Today, I ordered a pizza. I paid and tipped the pizza guy, and instead of saying goodbye, I got tongue-tied and said, "I love you, boo." FML
Today, I think I found out just how many times I've ordered through UberEats when my delivery guy told me that, "We should stop seeing each other like this!" with a chuckle. FML
Today, I ordered pizza for myself. When the delivery guy arrived, I opened the door in pajama pants, messy hair and a face mask. He smiled and said, “Oh, this order says ‘Family Combo Meal.’ Where’s everyone else?” I just said, “They’re busy.” They weren’t. FML
Today, my loyalty and regularity at my local pizza place were noticed. The delivery guy, when bringing yet another order, asked me if the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles were living with me. FML
Today, as a pizza delivery guy, I was forced to see yet another naked 200 pound teenage girl with a serious case of body acne. They're starting to give me nightmares. FML
Today, I was bitched out by a pizza delivery man. I didn't have the cash to pay him for a pizza I didn't even order. FML
Today, I realized my boyfriend's family love and respect me more than my own family. FML
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Top comments
Tripartita 44
If dirty movies are anything to go by, then this makes a lot of sense. It's hard not to learn a thing or two about somebody while you have them bent over and are delivering extra sausage.
chirstinap325 23
#goals
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Comments (19)
rekijan 6
Maybe a good time to reconnect to your family?
jbivens1992 17
I never understand posts like this...how the **** do you get so personal with the delivery guy/girl? I have had pizza delivered numerous times over the course of my life and I honestly don't think I have ever said anything even remotely personal to the delivery driver. Not to mention those people are usually in a hurry to get their deliveries done.
RpiesSPIES 27
You've never had candlelight dinners with your pizza deliverymen? I feel sorry for your nearby pizza parlors.
Manual_Manoosy 21
Cool story, bro