Today, the pizza delivery guy and I know more about each other than me and my family ever have. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I realized that the only boy that shows up at my door is the pizza boy. FML
Today, I opened the door to a pizza delivery guy. I hadn't order any, but I thought maybe my roommate had. As he handed me the box, I said, "Thanks, you too" when he told me to enjoy my meal. He stopped, looked confused, and said, "Wait, what?" before leaving. I then realized my roommate was out of town and I’d just taken someone else’s pizza. FML
Today, the pizza delivery guy saw me in my underwear. My boyfriend is so ashamed of me that he pointed out to the guy twice that we were just roommates. FML
Today, I ordered a pizza. I paid and tipped the pizza guy, and instead of saying goodbye, I got tongue-tied and said, "I love you, boo." FML
Today, I think I found out just how many times I've ordered through UberEats when my delivery guy told me that, "We should stop seeing each other like this!" with a chuckle. FML
Today, I ordered pizza for myself. When the delivery guy arrived, I opened the door in pajama pants, messy hair and a face mask. He smiled and said, “Oh, this order says ‘Family Combo Meal.’ Where’s everyone else?” I just said, “They’re busy.” They weren’t. FML
Today, my loyalty and regularity at my local pizza place were noticed. The delivery guy, when bringing yet another order, asked me if the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles were living with me. FML
Today, as a pizza delivery guy, I was forced to see yet another naked 200 pound teenage girl with a serious case of body acne. They're starting to give me nightmares. FML
Today, I was bitched out by a pizza delivery man. I didn't have the cash to pay him for a pizza I didn't even order. FML
Today, I realized my boyfriend's family love and respect me more than my own family. FML
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Top comments
Tripartita 44
If dirty movies are anything to go by, then this makes a lot of sense. It's hard not to learn a thing or two about somebody while you have them bent over and are delivering extra sausage.
chirstinap325 23
#goals
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Comments (19)
mariri9206 32
I'm trying to think of a Supernatural reference for this but, at the moment, I'm failing. I know there's gotta be one in here somewhere but, for now, I'm blaming the fact that my brain isn't working because it's time for sleep.
Lalala579121 27
I thought people trying too hard to make puns was bad. But this is on a whole new level.
mariri9206 32
Whatever, hater(s).
cootiequeen4444 11
The cheese on that pizza was so good it could give you life even after death. There. a supernatural reference. you're welcome.
Lalala579121 27
The real Supernatural reference would be something about what you learned from the pizza man (****) like Cas did.
chirstinap325 23
#goals
Tripartita 44
If dirty movies are anything to go by, then this makes a lot of sense. It's hard not to learn a thing or two about somebody while you have them bent over and are delivering extra sausage.
LivToFail 28
I didn't think pizza delivery got that saucy.
zinoxity 23
I know how you feel. I wish I knew more details so I could give you advice but whatever the case may be, I hope you and your family can connect and start being open with each other even if it's little by little. Keep your head up, OP. Good luck and best wishes. :)
RhiannonMuh 16
Marry him, I'd say
RichardPencil 30
I'm sure the customers who get their cold pizza hours after yours is delivered love you as much as your family does.
Damn_Kiwi_Clits 8
Don't exaggerate too much
cari_cat 19
One cheesy love story.
booterus 20
D8
914smv 18
This sounds depressing... Hope your family realizes what they are missing out on.