Today, I had a panic attack. Not on a crowded train, or an airplane, or in school, or any of the expected places. It was in my yoga class, which my therapist recommended for me, while I was in a dead-body position. FML
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Today, I had a panic attack while giving a presentation on how to breathe to avoid having panic attacks. FML
Today, I started yoga to help with my stress and overall health. I also got a "hit by a truck" migraine in the middle of my second downward dog pose, and spent the last 20 minutes of the 30 minute lesson curled up in fetal position on my new yoga mat. FML
Today, in health class we were watching a documentary about anxiety. My teacher asked if any of us often feel anxious. I was too anxious to raise my hand, and went into a minor panic attack. FML
Today, I had a panic attack because I was constipated. FML
Today, I had an extreme panic attack in the middle of class. I interrupted another person's presentation, burst into tears, and ran out of class whilst everyone looked at me. FML
Today, I took my first yoga class ever. Everything was going fine until it was time to stand up from the floor. My knees made a sound like snapping wood, my balance disappeared, and I nearly took out the lady next to me while trying to recover. She helped me up like I was part of her family. FML
Today, as a last resort for my back problems, I tried acupuncture. After the needles were placed and the doctor had left, I couldn't move for 30 minutes. I had a panic attack. FML
Today, I felt flexible in my yoga class. I put my legs in the butterfly position and tried to press them down. Both my hips popped very painfully and I screamed in the middle of a quiet room. FML
Today, while trying to explain to my friends what an anxiety attack is like, I had an anxiety attack. FML
Today, I had a panic attack because my wife yelped at me. What did I say that made her yell? I told her that I had just been diagnosed with a panic disorder that's triggered by people yelling at me. FML
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Top comments
enonymous 8
So that's where my girlfriends learned to do that during sex. ******* Yoga
MeConut 3
..at about 7.46am
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Comments (96)
caelrion 1
Congratulations.
ripgeorgecarl1n 7
1- you might as well have just said "first"
free2speak 14
Well at least he tried. I'll take "congratulations" over the mind numbing "first". Anyway, up until a few years ago, I used to have a lot of panic attacks. the most embarrassing one was in a similar situation as OP's. We were all putting on a demonstration about proper ways to meditate. And all of a sudden I remembered my big Biochem test the next day which escalated into thinking about me possibly failing the class, into ruining my gpa, into not getting into a grad school and next thing I know, I was being rushed to the college nurse. I still have mini panic attacks but that had to be the most embarrassing one.
medotcom 0
Nice name for that position.
DrDilllonReese 12
Yeah. Sounds like a position Dexter would like
Keyman1212 14
I know nothing about Yoga, but I wonder what that position looks like? Do you like stab yourself a few times, then break your arm and however you bleed out is the position?
Damn_Hippster 11
That sounds like a fun sex position
DrDilllonReese 12
That's what those truly dedicated to yoga do
onedayinamsterda 14
OP was practicing the "corpse" position in yoga! personally I've never done yoga but my girl is a big fan of it and she said there were times when students actually dozed off in that position!
HomeAl0ne 20
It's a common pose that it used to train you for sex after marriage, among other things.
alexchiltonLC 7
I know the feeling op :(
cH1N1chunga 5
You just lie on the ground.. Relaxed
enonymous 8
So that's where my girlfriends learned to do that during sex. ******* Yoga
GoodLookingGeese 10
I think there is a perfect place where they can make use of OP since it sounds like she can't handle life to well. I think she can easily recruit to kamikaze squad - they'll be thankful, at least let's hope so they will..
FruityLoooons 8
*insert rimshot here*
murlocholmes 5
3- so your woman does into a limp or "dead body" position during sex?
WolfLuke 0
Wait...plural? O.O
enonymous 8
52 technically she wasn't mine and I'm pretty sure the chloroform had more to do with her being limp
murlocholmes 5
Ah, I see... I prefer Clubbing. Gives you more of a "hands-on" feeling... Then when she's unconscious, we can get a little more "hands-on".
Akumie 6
I like how there's 69 thumbs up on this comment.:U
saIty 17
If I was in your class I would have had a panic attack when it was time for the downward facing dog position.
datguyuno 5
Sorry if I sound stupid but when does the dead body position look like?
MeConut 3
..at about 7.46am
Wavesong 4
You just lay on your back with all your muscles relaxed.
thelegitlady 0
*facepalm* a dead body...duh!
zyron7568 0
You sound stupid... Not because you don't know the position but because you put when instead of what.
drlove78843 6
Lmfao
datguyuno 5
Sorry. When I type fast I make stupid mistakes like that
Jaxx66 21
I'm thinking like a body would if you just tossed it aside. So splayed out with arms and legs all crooked. Include tongue lolling for effect.
Insane_Tea 15
Don't worry yourself, yoga is pretty intense. In fact it's so intense you could have had a self induced ******!
rockman130 0
i was doin yoga up in class and when the teacher bent over and i checked out her ass... AND THEN I JIZZED IN MY PANTS!
aJaguarinRed 9
No, silly. That is tantric sex!
Quasar55_fml 18
Achievement unlocked
SirSquishyPants 1
You should include Trophies in that comment, other wise the people who only play ps3 will get offended
freelove_fml 2
Why not take this excellent chance to offend idiots that play PS3? PC games win.
Drewwwwwwww 0
49- PS3 sucks, it's for poor people who can't afford live or a wireless adapter. The PS3 control also makes me want to bomb japan.
yeaya 0
How do I message you?!
yeaya 0
How do I message you?!
Leahbabe15 0
Who can't afford live? Well at least I can afford an education so I can at least say what I mean. ON TOP of my play station 3 and my brand new car and house. Hahahaha!
Jaxx66 21
I only play PC games normally or PS2. But my bf just recently got me a Xbox, it's amazing! Don't PS3 games only have an 8 hour play through anyhow?? And on top of that. I'd prefer to have an Xbox and PAY for service than to have free service and get a bunch more people who I probably won't like. Same applies to free MMO's
lextheplex 0
Nerds!! -______-
Capt_Oblivious 10
I'm the same way, anytime anything comes around me that involves working out I panic also. That shit is scary.
MrSaxMan 0
No.....that just happens to fat people
WhySoMad 0
Lol...
thebeautybleeds 17
I actually cannot do gym class because of panic attacks. So instead I do it through correspondence. If yoga, which is supposed to help causes panicking, then find something else. I'm assuming it was recommended to help you relax, so if it does the complete opposite, try something else. And like someone else said, at least it wasn't at school, or in a crowded place, like it could have been!
Luck77 6
awe looks like I'll be joining a yoga class now
Luck77 6
awe looks like I'll be joining a yoga class now