Fishing Break Brake Fail! By FML Approved - 07/09/2017 03:30 Easy living isn't always easy... I agree, your life sucks 593 You deserved it 190 Share Tweet Share
Today, my bird learned how to mimic the fire alarm after my dad has been testing them for the last few months. He now enjoys sounding like a fire alarm anytime I turn the lights off with the other bird joining in. They live in my room. FML I agree, your life sucks 2 052 You deserved it 300
Today, I was rushed to the emergency room for severe facial rashes. My boyfriend and I then found out I'm allergic to seminal fluid. FML I agree, your life sucks 1 388 You deserved it 206
Today, after being years of being told that it's a pipe dream and that I couldn't do it, I finally qualified for my unconventional dream job, competing with almost 100k people, only to find out during the medical exam that as I have epilepsy, I'm unfit for the job. FML I agree, your life sucks 1 241 You deserved it 112
Today, I told my girlfriend that for whatever reason I find it really difficult to orgasm stood up in the shower, she immediately demanded sex in the shower on the basis that without my orgasm maybe I’ll finally last long enough for her to orgasm first, or even at all. FML I agree, your life sucks 462 You deserved it 2 215
Today, I was walking down the street when I saw a cute dog. I reached down to pet it, but it snarled then bit me. As I was walking away, I saw the owner of the dog, who was laughing and filming the whole thing on his shitty cellphone. I hope the video isn't out there on TikTok or whatever. FML I agree, your life sucks 435 You deserved it 1 019
Today, I gave my best speech at a work function, only to have the entire team ask, “What was the point of that?” Now, I’m questioning all my life choices. FML I agree, your life sucks 350 You deserved it 143
Looks like that car's sleepin' with the fishes.