Dramatic Entrance Fail By FML Approved - 01/08/2017 03:28 It's not easy being cheesy... I agree, your life sucks 575 You deserved it 210 Share Tweet Share
Today, I came home to find that my girlfriend had repainted my bedroom. As she had offered to do it, it shouldn't have been a problem. However, she decided to return the several unopened cans of off-white paint that I'd bought for something "more neutral." Like "Sunset Orange." FML I agree, your life sucks 23 399 You deserved it 3 020
Today, I went to break up with my psychotic bitch of a girlfriend after months of abuse. When she opened the door, her 5-year-old son ran up to me, smiling and calling me "DADDY!" for the first time. Now I don't have the heart to dump the psycho and devastate her son. FML I agree, your life sucks 37 998 You deserved it 6 149
Today, I went camping with my girlfriend and best friend. They are now having blood-curdling sex in our tent. My friend is also my ride home. FML I agree, your life sucks 61 333 You deserved it 7 468
Today, I found out that my crush didn't remember calling me beautiful, telling me he liked me, or any of the other romantic things he said to me while drunk last night. He did however remember me promising to bake him cookies. FML I agree, your life sucks 26 819 You deserved it 3 161
Today, after watching Insidious, my boyfriend thought it would be funny to scare me while I was on the toilet. I was in mid-piss when he jumped out at me, and I ran screaming and peeing down the hall. FML I agree, your life sucks 46 787 You deserved it 11 488
Today, while working at my lifeguard job, I noticed a girl bouncing on one foot over to the pool. Afraid she would trip, I whistled at her and yelled, "NO running or messing around on the pool deck!" She removed her towel, revealing her legs. Or leg, she only had one. FML I agree, your life sucks 53 516 You deserved it 21 445
Thank god the garage door was in the way, mom might have been just another statistic from being run over.