Kids: Don't listen to him

Don't listen to him

By CaoNiMa - 26/03/2009 15:42 - China

Today, I had my girlfriend over and we were watching a movie in my basement. I ran upstairs and popped a bag of popcorn. Later I came downstairs to find my 10 year-old brother sitting next to my girlfriend, saying, "My brother always says he wants to screw your brains out, whatever that means." FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 865

You deserved it 74 923

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Same thing different taste

It's just a prank, bro!

By Anonymous - 13/05/2012 12:15 - United States - Hanover

Today, I finally got the girl of my dreams to come over for a movie. When I answered the door, my little brother ran up behind me, yelled, "Geronimo!" and pulled down my pants and underwear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 204

You deserved it 3 231

By Anonymous - 20/09/2013 21:00 - Hungary - Szeged

Today, my girlfriend came over to visit me and my brother at our apartment. I left for just five minutes to fix us lunch. When I got back, she was making out with my brother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 858

You deserved it 3 994

By tony456 - 11/07/2011 21:08 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I were making out while she was laying on me. Her little brother walked in, saw us and yelled, "Mom they're swallowing each other!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 745

You deserved it 24 591

By junior - 11/04/2010 08:11 - United States

Today, I was with my girlfriend, thinking we were alone in the house. Her little brother found us having sex on the couch, took a pic and said, "You are now both my slaves." He ran upstairs and locked his bedroom door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 293

You deserved it 46 482

By HouseMdFangirl - 10/08/2009 06:12 - United States

Today, I went to the movies with my best friend. While waiting for it to start, I went on to describe this guy I really liked and how badly I wanted to do him. Just then the girl sitting behind us leans down and says "That's my little brother. So you're the creeper he talks about." FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 768

You deserved it 58 419

By wtf bro - 20/05/2015 08:45 - Australia - Canberra

Today, my brother babysat for me. He invited his girlfriend around without me knowing, and they were all playing hide and seek together. While he and his girl were hiding, they decided to have a quickie. My three year old found them and saw everything. She won't stop copying their sex noises. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 245

You deserved it 3 644

By Anonymous - 04/04/2012 17:45 - Canada - Lethbridge

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend, when his sister knocked on the door and asked if she could borrow the zombie movie we were watching after we were done with it. We weren't watching a movie; I was just moaning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 400

You deserved it 34 662

By Tiana - 29/01/2012 02:34 - Canada

Today, I was watching a movie in the basement with my boyfriend when we started to get a little frisky. My mom walks down with dirty laundry and tells him to stop it because I'm creaming all over my undies. She showed him a pair of dirty ones to prove it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 385

You deserved it 9 278

By fmlfmlfml - 10/07/2009 05:27 - Canada

Today, I snuck into my brother's room to scare him. Just as I was about to go for it, his girlfriend calls. I had to sit there motionless listening to my brother having phone sex, then wait for him to go to sleep and sneak back out to pretend it never happened. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 899

You deserved it 61 017

By candy man - 04/09/2014 19:32 - United States - Chapel Hill

Today, my girlfriend got up in the middle of sex saying, "You're taking too long, I'm gonna go make some popcorn." I asked her if she could get me some. She said no. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 752

You deserved it 10 784

meaganwas 0

Thursday 26 March 2009 20:01

You have the best little brother ever.

drybamboo 0

Thursday 26 March 2009 20:03

That ten year old knew what he was saying. LOL.

Comments

strawberry_78 0

Friday 27 March 2009 1:08

that's a complement. I hope she took it as such.

Silhouette_fml 0

Friday 27 March 2009 1:26

She should already know that's what you want >_>

fcuk_mylife 0

Friday 27 March 2009 1:48

umm, if your 10 yr old brother didnt know what that meant, he's the one with the ****** life, not you.

Amkii 0

Friday 27 March 2009 2:55

Your brother is ******* awesome and hilarious!!

aztec37 0

Friday 27 March 2009 2:59

Did you actually say that, or did your bro make it up?

beastofnature 0

Friday 27 March 2009 3:03

you need to beat the life out of him for that one.

Kyzomo 0

Friday 27 March 2009 3:41

at least she knos now maybe she wanna screw u 2..... nah that wont happen LOL

Firesquid 0

Friday 27 March 2009 4:27

I checked both, because yes its your fault for telling your brother that, but at the same time little kids like that piss me off.

nodbor 11

Friday 27 March 2009 5:29

he is your pimp, so, what's the big deal, he broke the ice to what you where to much of a ??? to tell her yourself, if that is indeed what you want to do. ya gotta communicate or you might lose out to someone else. just 10 hum.