Dog Jump Fail - FML

Dog Jump Fail

By FML Approved - 18/10/2017 15:10 - United States - New York

Practice doesn't always make perfect!

I agree, your life sucks 436

You deserved it 111

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Keywords

Cooking Kids Awkward Babysitter Miscellaneous Argument Parents Anger issues Video games Family Cute TikTok Sleep Love Gross NSFW Poopoo peepee Money Drunk Weddings AITA LGBTQIA+ Pranks Furniture Health Intimacy Sex Work Friends Embarrassing

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Today, I asked my 4-year-old daughter where her father went. She said, "Out to have fun with Zoe." Acting on suspicion, I followed him and did a stakeout. Hours later, I barged in and caught him playing Dungeons and Dragons. "Zoe" is the female wizard he plays as. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 921

You deserved it 4 577

Today, I got a new trainee at work. She was the experimental one-night stand I’d had several months back and never called again. She kept making remarks about how excited she is to be working under me again and winking. This is gonna be a long couple of weeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 612

You deserved it 1 405

Today, I had a performance evaluation meeting with my boss. He told me I was the best in my department, and that the productivity has never been higher before I started working here. Oh, and he said that because everything is working so well, they don't need me as much, so he's cutting my hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 307

You deserved it 2 779

Today, at work, I dropped two bottles of wine on the floor. Unbelievably, they both didn't break. That, however, did not stop my boss from taking a few points away on my evaluation. My $3 raise is now reduced to $0.25. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 006

You deserved it 3 204

Today, I was walking down my road in the hill-country of Texas, when I spotted something shiny buried in the dirt. Thinking it could be something interesting, I picked it up, and, after turning it over numerous times in my hand, realized that it was, in fact, an old silver bullet vibrator. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 126

You deserved it 1 092

Today, I choked on oatmeal, watered-down soupy oatmeal. It seemed to get stuck halfway down. I chucked up several spoonfuls. My wife was oblivious to all the noise I was making because she had her over-the-ear headphones on, listening to some stupid YouTube video. FML

I agree, your life sucks 209

You deserved it 280