Work, Food, Coworkers and Thief: Bad liar - FML

Bad liar

By pirotess31 - 31/07/2025 03:00 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I brought a huge chocolate bar to work, left it in the break room, and came back to find it gone. Later, I saw a coworker with chocolate all over his face and fingers. I asked him if he took it, and he said, in almost offended tone, “What? No, that’s mine.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 236

You deserved it 335

Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Shit eating grin

By lame - 31/12/2009 05:02 - Canada

Today, I ate a chocolate bar before getting my morning coffee. While waiting for it, a good looking guy started talking to me, then suddenly lost interest. Afterwards, I saw the chocolate on my face in my car mirror. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 412

You deserved it 22 027

By I'm so sorry... - 01/03/2017 16:00

Today, a coworker left a chocolate cake on the "free food" table in the office. I had a slice. She's just called to ask if she left her grandmother's birthday cake at work. She made it from scratch. Now I'm baking a new cake in the office kitchen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 705

You deserved it 1 540

The ruling class wins again

By jcrb - 03/09/2021 10:59

Today, someone had been stealing my brownie at work every day, so I sprinkled cocolax on one and waited to find out who the culprit was. Turns out it was my manager. Needless to say, I'm fired. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 401

You deserved it 191

By Jake Leiter - 20/03/2016 18:12 - United States - Grantham

Today, for what has seemed to be the hundredth time, my labeled bagged lunch was stolen from the fridge at my workplace. I stormed into my boss's office ready to complain, only to find him eating it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 020

You deserved it 1 235

By dannij08 - 14/01/2009 01:05 - United States

Today, I stole one of my cousin's chocolates. I didn't tell her, after I ate it, I read the box and realized that it was a chocolate laxative. I'm posting this from the bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 436

You deserved it 43 509

By rejected4ever - 14/02/2012 18:29 - United States

Today, for Valentine's Day, my boyfriend gave me the half-eaten chocolate bar that I left in his fridge two weeks ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 586

You deserved it 4 203

By foreveralone - 13/01/2014 01:00 - United States - Franklin Park

Today, I went to the doctor, only to find out I can no longer eat chocolate, my favorite food. When I got home, my boyfriend took the chocolate cake I'd been eating from the fridge, sat down in front of me, and ate the whole thing without breaking eye contact. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 264

You deserved it 7 155

Freeloader

By Anonymous - 15/10/2025 12:00

Today, I overheard my coworkers talking about how someone has been stealing lunches from the office fridge. Feeling guilty, I admitted that I took a sandwich yesterday, thinking it was free. Turns out, they were joking to see who’d confess. FML

I agree, your life sucks 83

You deserved it 533

By erockinthesuburb - 19/02/2013 01:49 - United States

Today, I purchased a box of girl scout cookies from a coworker. I wanted to save them for later at home, so I placed them on my desk and then headed to a meeting. When I returned, there was an empty box sitting there with a post-it note saying, "Thanks!" Nobody will own up to it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 450

You deserved it 6 359

By tenthousandspoon - 13/09/2010 00:08 - New Zealand

Today, at work, a three year old chucked a chocolate bar at me. It hit me square in the face. Her father praised her for her "quality arm." FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 854

You deserved it 3 056

Next

Top comments

ryan4723 24

Thursday 31 July 2025 3:02

Don’t leave stuff lying around if you don’t want it taken

Charlie Given 26

Thursday 31 July 2025 17:35

Next time just get one with hot peppers and watch the show!

Comments

ryan4723 24

Thursday 31 July 2025 3:02

Don’t leave stuff lying around if you don’t want it taken

Charlie Given 26

Thursday 31 July 2025 17:35

Next time just get one with hot peppers and watch the show!

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous My ex Stalker Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

The Top

The Top

Today, my little sister swapped out the hard white cheese on the meat-cheese platter with slices of white chocolate and put some Skittles into the bowl of M&M's. My limited circle of friends and family in our safe social pandemic bubble think it was me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 627

You deserved it 110

Today, I found my beloved hamster, Toofie. Toofie escaped from his cage. 4 years ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 016

You deserved it 4 982

Today, my fiance called off our engagement, all because I let myself go due to comfort eating and depression since my mother passed and I got fired from work. He told me to lose 60 pounds or he “won’t consummate the marriage with my lard ass.” Our wedding and honeymoon were less than a month away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 498

You deserved it 553

Today, the guy I have a crush on invited me over to his house. I was nervous and excited, until I found out that he really just wanted me to clean it. Apparently, my friends from the university told him that was my job and he believed them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 290

You deserved it 389

Today, I found out my husband has a fake Facebook account that he uses to add guys and live a double life as some kind of "gamer chick". This would be disturbing enough, even if he hadn't used pictures of me to give a face to his alter ego. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 973

You deserved it 4 188

Today, my boyfriend said he wants a Hello Kitty wedding. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 764

You deserved it 9 319