Housekeeper By Anonymous - 11/05/2009 19:45 - United States Today, I took my parents and 3 sisters to the airport so they could take a trip to Hawaii. I wasn't invited because they don't like my husband. They asked me to watch the dog and water the plants. FML I agree, your life sucks 57 031 You deserved it 7 455 Share Tweet Share
Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time, and I tried to be sexy by raking my nails down his back. I guess I did it a little too hard, because he shrieked in pain, leapt off me, and limped around the room cursing and whimpering. Mood ruined. FML I agree, your life sucks 49 453 You deserved it 26 553
Today, my daughter had a meltdown when I told her I donated some of her old toys to Goodwill. It turns out Toy Story has taught her that toys have feelings and that she has a meaningful relationship with them. She's in her teens. FML I agree, your life sucks 17 945 You deserved it 27 182
Today, picking up my children from school, I overheard some kids saying what a rotten person their dad was, and how they hated him. It was my kids talking to their friends about me! Why? Because I didn't buy them a bag of jelly beans the day before. FML I agree, your life sucks 4 249 You deserved it 427
Today, my 5 year-old announced she’s “pregnant” and rubbed her tummy. I told her that it was impossible, since you have to be a grownup to get pregnant. She said that her oversized teddy bear made her “pregnant” and began humping him while sing-songing the word “pregnant.” No idea who taught her that. FML I agree, your life sucks 1 363 You deserved it 241
Today, my aunt vented her anger on us for no reason, and her words really cut like a knife. I always pray that someday I'll have a home that I can call my own, where I can lay my head and heart. FML I agree, your life sucks 848 You deserved it 135
Today, we realized we had a problem with two appliances. Their manuals were in a high cabinet. My husband got down the one for the appliance he was working on, but left the one I needed up too high for me to reach. I got the step stool and said, "OK" as I climbed up. My husband flipped and yelled that I am "disrespectful." FML I agree, your life sucks 486 You deserved it 106