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Submit your FML

Have you just experienced an FML moment?

Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Your instinct was right, because it’s good to laugh life off. Follow the instructions below, and if your story gets through the moderation process, it'll published in the next 24 hours or so.


    Remaining characters: 320

    Your story must start with “Today,” and end with “FML”. TXT language is forbidden and spelling mistakes hurt people’s eyeballs, so the use of either would result in the direct dismissal of your FML. Don’t use this space for discussions, advertising or spam, or for posting anything which isn’t an FML. Furthermore, it’s not possible to obtain badges by posting keywords, so stop believing things you’ve read on message boards. Don’t try reposting old FMLs, we’re not that daft.


    Please read our guidelines for posting

    Poopoo peepee

    How romantic

    By SmokedSalmon - 13/02/2009 00:54 - United States

    Today, I woke up next to a slumbering girl I had just met the night before. She had all the covers on top of her and I was cold. Not only was I cold, but the sheets were really cold. So I got up and realized she'd peed a drunken night's worth of beer all over my sheets. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 21 261
    You deserved it 43 614
    Share  

    Earthquake sneezer

    By Noname - 27/01/2009 00:02 - Japan

    Today, I sneezed so hard I herniated my back. After passing out from the pain I awoke on the floor covered in my own shit and piss. Unable to move, I had to wait in this state for four hours for my wife to return home from work, clean me up and take me to the hospital. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 52 813
    You deserved it 2 833
    Share  

    By DonPedro - 16/01/2009 14:45 - United States

    Today, I took a dump at work. When I went to flush the toilet, it clogged and began to overflow. I left the bathroom as it was and as I walked out, my boss came in. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 20 883
    You deserved it 11 417
    Share  

    Good boy

    By AgathedeBlouse - 18/11/2008 06:42 - France

    Today, as I do every morning, I woke up and gave my dog, who sleeps next to me, a kiss on the nose. Except that this morning he had been sleeping the other way round. I kissed him on the ass. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 27 582
    You deserved it 25 198
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    Keywords

    Coworkers Mental health Pranks Work Love Video games Clumsy Geek Health Medication Parents Poopoo peepee Transportation Cars Intimacy NSFW Weird Sex My ex Cheating Awkward Pregnancy Kids Mysterious LGBTQIA+ Clothes Miscellaneous Cooking Fire Gross
    The Top FMyLife FMyLife
    Today, at work at an OB office, I heard a ruckus in the hallway before a very large woman burst into my room and tried to attack my very pregnant patient. Crazy lady is the wife of the pregnant lady’s baby daddy, who is nowhere to be found. I don’t get paid enough for this shit. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 614
    You deserved it 76
    Today, my first girlfriend of over 3 years left me for another guy. She said she's looking for someone who can financially provide for her in the future. The dude owns a T-Mobile kiosk. I'm going to medical school. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 568 521
    You deserved it 40 619
    Random FMyLife FMyLife
    Today, I went to the park with a girl I like. She got playful and climbed a tree, insisting I come up too. While we were sitting and enjoying the view, she suddenly knocked me off the branch, sending me crashing to the ground. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 39 534
    You deserved it 6 164
    Today, a customer at the store I work at asked me what kind of cake I would suggest for her husband's 50th birthday. I laughed and showed her the Grim Reaper cake. She burst into tears and explained that he has cancer. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 16 133
    You deserved it 62 353
    Today, I was about to have sex with my wife, so I walked into our room naked, but then whacked myself in the nuts with the door handle as I attempted to close it. She can't stop laughing, and I can't sit down. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 2 137
    You deserved it 542
    Today, I found out that four years ago, my fiancé and the father of my children had sex with my younger sister twice, one of those times being in my house while our baby and I were sleeping in the next room. Couldn’t be better timing as I start chemotherapy in 3 days. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 2 030
    You deserved it 134
    Today, I saw my best friend's car in the parking lot of the store, so I ran over to say hi, since I'm secretly in love with him. I saw him and his girlfriend getting nasty in the back. I'm now at home, crying and masturbating. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 259
    You deserved it 719
    Today, I was so desperate to pee that I used the only bathroom in the convenience store I was in, which was “Employees Only.” Well, the door got stuck and I had to get an employee to let me out. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 281
    You deserved it 347
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