Periods

Antidate

By Inpain - 08/07/2023 10:00

Today, I was having the worst period cramps you could ever imagine. I cancelled the date I had with my "boyfriend." He replied, “Isn’t there some medicine you can take to make it go away?” When I told him I did and still had them, he said, “Fine, lose my number, I’ll find a girl who doesn’t have that shit.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 155

You deserved it 151

Biology lesson time

By Username - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my 16 year-old daughter tried to convince me that tampons don't actually work, all because she can still pee with one in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 080

You deserved it 5 953

Sick burn

By littl3storm - 01/06/2020 17:00

Today, while sitting an at home university exam, I started getting period cramps. I decided to use a heat patch to help. I left it on for the allotted time, but when I took it off, it peeled my skin off and burnt the surrounding skin. I'm now burnt AND still experiencing cramps. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 797

You deserved it 225

…and a Happy New Year!

By Anonymous - 27/12/2022 15:00 - Canada

Today, for the first time in years, my period is early. I woke up at 5 a.m. with the worst cramps I've ever had in my life. Medicine isn't helping. It's literally so bad I feel like I want to throw up. It's fucking Christmas but hey, it wouldn't be 2022 if my garbage pile of a body wasn't ruining something for me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 880

You deserved it 175

The horror

By GW. - 01/04/2025 16:00 - United States - Orange

Today, I have norovirus and my period. I feel like I’m emitting fluids from every hole I have. The toilet looks like something out of a horror movie every time I use it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 485

You deserved it 80

Unexpected

By Anonymous - 26/07/2026 09:00 - United States

Today, my stepdaughter unexpectedly got her first period during a visit. I explained everything to her, then took her to the store to buy supplies and snacks. Her mother called and cussed me out for “stealing” this experience from her. Yeah I totally planned it to happen this way. FML

I agree, your life sucks 472

You deserved it 55

Splatter analysis

By Anonymous - 14/04/2024 14:00 - United States - Pataskala

Today, after I wore a pad last night, I woke up this morning, took off my underwear to use the bathroom, and a huge period glob flew hit the rug and splattered everywhere. The globs got on every piece if clothing I wore. I then had to clean what looked like a crime scene. FML

I agree, your life sucks 555

You deserved it 145

Help! I need somebody!

By Anonymous - 11/07/2023 22:00

Today, I woke up to realize I got my period a week early. The day of the after-wedding brunch. In a sort of remote area. Without pads or tampons. I need to be at the breakfast in a half-hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 818

You deserved it 197

Cockwomble strikes again

By haveahappyperiod - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff

Today, my purse was stolen from my bag while I was on the train. The thief will be surprised to find that it wasn't my money purse, but in fact my "period purse". Hope they find tampons useful. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 608

You deserved it 4 821

Another mystery

By Anonymous - 05/05/2024 15:00 - Switzerland

Today, I had a lovely day, right up until the moment I got home, went to change my pad, and realised that sometime in the last two hours, somewhere between the library and this moment, my pad had somehow… fallen out. So somewhere out there my bloody pad is… just there. What if someone saw? FML

I agree, your life sucks 532

You deserved it 126

Make it stop

By Anonymous - 08/05/2026 12:00 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I went to the doctor because I have been getting my period every week and a half and they are ridiculously heavy. He then spent the entire time discussing painkillers (I'm allergic to most) and when I asked to be put on birth control, he said I'd need another appointment for that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 442

You deserved it 57

Acting kinda sus

By sailinggsoul - 02/08/2019 00:01

Today, I bought a box of tampons and went to the store restroom to insert one. I then put the box inside my purse. On my way out, I got stopped by security, who yelled at me to empty my purse. He grabbed my bag, spilling the tampons everywhere. Apparently, he thought I was stealing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 968

You deserved it 182

Don't blame the dog!

By Anonymous - 22/04/2023 10:00

Today, I realized that it's not just the dog who's cockblocking me and not letting me get close. My girlfriend, whom I live with, rejects practically every advance. Of course, during her shark week, at least I get an excuse. I average once a month if I'm lucky. FML

I agree, your life sucks 905

You deserved it 424

The whole tooth

By Anonymous - 13/04/2024 00:00 - United States - Lafayette

Today, I finally started feeling better after getting a tooth pulled last week. I also started something else: my period, while I was stuck in the dentist's chair during my follow-up appointment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 452

You deserved it 90

Run, run away

By but i make different stiffies - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States - Parker

Today, while on a first date with a charming guy, I excused myself to the bathroom. I tried to bring my purse along, since my pads were in there, and mother nature was calling. He vehemently insisted that I leave my purse, in case I was planning on stiffing him on the bill. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 103

You deserved it 2 814

That ain't it

By Anonymous - 06/10/2022 13:30

Today, my tampon leaked right before I had to go to court. I'm the plaintiff and I work for my city, and blood stains isn't a good look. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 317

You deserved it 153

I've had even enough

By nobabies - 14/10/2022 06:00

Today, I started my period. Unfortunately, my last period only ended six days ago. PCOS sucks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 018

You deserved it 106

Stinky

By cranky, smelly, musty, moody - 14/10/2023 00:02

Today, I’ve finished all my cancer treatments but my body is putting me through the wringer again. I got my first period after not having one for nearly a year, and with it has come all sorts of hormonal issues including cramping, mood swings, hot flashes, and heinous BO! It’s worse than puberty! FML

I agree, your life sucks 794

You deserved it 100

Teenagers in love

By Anonymous - 24/08/2022 14:00

Today, while preparing for our holiday, I realised I will have my period that week. My husband is now sulking because he thinks I’ll be so grumpy, I’ll ruin the holiday. I’ve had to talk him out of cancelling our flight twice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 087

You deserved it 360

Embrace modernity, reject tradition

By Anonymous - 02/06/2022 10:00

Today, I got to explain reusable period underwear to my mom, who once had to wear sanitary belts. She was horrified by the idea of underwear specifically designed to be bled into, as opposed to all the accidental bleeding into underwear not designed for it that happens every time I try to sleep on my period. FML

I agree, your life sucks 903

You deserved it 144

The body keeps the score

By Anonymous - 02/12/2022 18:00 - United Kingdom - Pontefract

Today, I started my period, complete with cramps, diarrhoea, a headache, bloating, and aching legs. Apparently my body didn't get the message that I had a total hysterectomy a month ago, including my ovaries, tubes and cervix. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 090

You deserved it 122

There's a party in my pants!

By CatchingUp - 20/10/2022 06:00 - Australia - Waurn Ponds

Today, my period came two days late. After fretting for two days, my body made it up to me by sticking three days of symptoms in one day. I needed Tylenol, Ibuprofen, Scotch, and cuddles before I got any relief. FML

I agree, your life sucks 788

You deserved it 149

Welcome to Hell

By Anonymous - 08/10/2022 14:00

Today, I got my period two days early. I have really bad cramps and my lower back hurts pretty bad. I'm getting over having bronchitis, I wanted to relax, but instead my mother had the bright idea to walk around the mall for two hours. We sat in traffic for another hour before we made it home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 204

You deserved it 168

Time

By Ka… - 25/05/2024 16:00 - United States - Glide

Today, after spending two days spiraling out of control with my thoughts and online searches over my husband not being attracted to me, and our marriage being over, I realized it was just the week before my period insanity. I get to know I'm gonna bleed when the intrusive thoughts start to win. Being a woman is so fun. FML

I agree, your life sucks 495

You deserved it 204

By 1DisGR8 - 16/12/2018 15:30 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I had the misfortune of getting my period during another exam. And yes, the male professor also noticed this time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 530

You deserved it 346

Red flag

By paddy - 14/07/2009 12:23 - United Kingdom

Today, I went to a neon-themed party. Standing by the UV light, I looked down and realised my pad was glowing through my tights. FML

I agree, your life sucks 78 608

You deserved it 16 541

Dad joke

By bookworm94 - 27/07/2009 04:10 - United States

Today, my immature dad said that I'm a girl, not a woman, so my witty response was, ''I have a period, so I'm pretty sure that makes me a woman.'' My dad stole my phone and sent a text to everyone in my address book, quoting me. Including the guy I like. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 865

You deserved it 16 756

Dramatic

By FML - 26/07/2024 09:00 - United States

Today, I was on my period, so I felt a little emotional, and asked my boyfriend for some attention. He said he needed ten minutes to finish his game with his friend. I laid down on the floor and started crying hysterically. He broke up with me and left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 163

You deserved it 1 327

Noped out of there

By Anonymous - 24/09/2022 12:30 - United Kingdom

Today, my wife and teen daughter are at the point where their monthly cycles have synced, so when I got home and heard them screaming at each other, I quietly closed the door so they couldn’t hear me, and like a coward I hid in my car until the screaming stopped. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 418

You deserved it 233

By disgusted - 19/09/2012 00:42 - United States - Herndon

Today, my dad's recycling went out of control. He now keeps a calendar of my periods, just to remind me to recycle the cardboard from my tampons. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 696

You deserved it 2 026

FML on Facebook

Keywords

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The Top

Today, my daughter asked me when was the first time I had sex. After I told her 22 she quickly shouted, "Beat ya!" She's thirteen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 740

You deserved it 119

Today, was my wedding night. We had decided to wait until marriage to have sex. When I undressed and smiled at my new wife, she burst into tears and cried, "please don't make me do this." FML

I agree, your life sucks 235 114

You deserved it 26 148

Random

Today, after sex, my boyfriend and I lay in bed for a couple of hours just chatting. This would have been lovely. However, his topic of choice for post-coital pillow talk was his theory about how Chewbacca is secretly the leader of the Rebel Alliance. It actually made sense. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 265

You deserved it 7 707

Today, after a conference with my teacher who had previously accused me of not doing my homework, she finally discovered she'd been losing it all this time. I've been getting straight Fs for a month. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 758

You deserved it 2 449

Today, my daughter asked why there was an X marked on a telephone pole. I told her it meant that they were going to remove it. She started crying and saying, "They can't kill the tree!" She's 16. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 240

You deserved it 7 420

Today, I have always been adamant on not wanting children ever, then I did a stupid thing, and now I’m now single and pregnant with twins at 22 years-old. My life is so fucking over. FML

I agree, your life sucks 467

You deserved it 1 675

Today, I spoiled the ending of my favorite show for my friend, so now I'm banned from watching or discussing it with them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 153

You deserved it 1 437

Today, I worked from home and, by coincidence, it was the day that my partner was going away for the weekend with some friends. When one of them picked her up, I noticed that the other friend's husband was going on the trip. So other husbands are invited… but not me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 607

You deserved it 120