John Doe
🌶️ Spicy
Shaving!
Today, my girlfriend told me that if I shaved, my penis might seem bigger. FML
KindStranger
Shrewsbury, United Kingdom 🌶️ Spicy
Getting freaky
Today, I was walking home when I thought I saw a man beating up a woman in a phone box, I opened the door and pulled the man off the woman, turns out they were just "getting frisky" FML
Perry85
🌶️ Spicy
Confusing love triangle
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend when I said the wrong name in bed. On top of that, it was the name of her ex-husband's ex-girlfriend. Who he cheated on my girlfriend with while they were together. FML
Anonymous
🌶️ Spicy
Hard to believe
Today, I tried to have sex with my boyfriend three times, but every time he insisted that he wasn't in the mood. I left to get food and when I came home he was masturbating. FML
anon
La Puente, United States
Awkward conversation
Today, I had to have a very difficult and awkward conversation with my best friend about her fiancé hitting on me. She seemed completely unfazed and ended up admitting that a three-way with me was actually her idea, but she didn't want to "weird me out" by asking me about it. FML
Anonymous
The girl?
Today, my mate was bragging about the nudes he was getting from this random girl, he proceeded to show me... It was my cousin. FML
Anon
Brisbane, Australia 🌶️ Spicy
Heavy load
Today, my boyfriend told me that when I orgasm, I sound like I'm choking. Only I'm not choking, I'm just getting the wind knocked out of me by his weight when he is on top. FML
Egyptian ToyBoy
🌶️ Spicy
Seventh heaven
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. She had such an uncontrollable, aggressive orgasm that I'd be celebrating my efforts, if only in the process she hadn't knocked over my new expensive laptop, which then split in half. FML
JackOLantern2099
🌶️ Spicy
Observational comedy
Today, my girlfriend and I saw each other naked for the first time. She said my balls looked like little acorns. FML
princessmia
Sequim, United States 🌶️ Spicy
Felt so bad
Today, my little brother played my phone, and then accidentally sent a nude photo of mine to our step-dad, and now I have to spend all day with him and my mom on a road trip. FML
hottytodday
Oxford, United States 🌶️ Spicy
Courtesy visit
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend on our couch. Meanwhile, my parents came to visit us without telling me. FML
Perry85
🌶️ Spicy
Not my turn
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend when she says "Don't cum in me, my husband has plans for later." FML
cap
Manhattan, United States 🌶️ Spicy
Last trip
Today, I had sex with my wife, only to be told that the sex was horrible, and to be given divorce papers. FML
Anonymous
🌶️ Spicy
What should I do?
Today, I got a XXX wax, because my boyfriend wouldn't go down on me as he didn't like the hair. Now he won't sleep with me at all because I look like a child with no pubic hair, and he "feels like a pedophile." FML
GoulashQueen
Brunswick, Australia 🌶️ Spicy
That escalated quickly
Today, I sent a dude a snapchat of my food. He responded with a video of him taking a shower, naked. FML
Anonymous
Bumbling
Today, my girlfriend and I enjoyed a lovely shower together. It was indeed lovely until her father came into the washroom to say “Welcome to the family!” whilst taking a giant shit. FML
Nyxilia
Edgware, United Kingdom 🌶️ Spicy
The best cat
Today, I was woken up by my cat. Did he bite me? Meow to get fed? No, those are too common. He scratched my hole, and it was very exciting. FML
Anonymous
🌶️ Spicy
I'm not blind
Today, after going on a blind date with a man I had met on facebook, we decided to go back to his apartment. All was going good until he took off his pants, only to reveal that he was wearing a diaper. FML
buckerooo
Too much feeling!
Today, my girlfriend and I were getting frisky when we decide to try the old 69. One thing leads to another when her clit ring went deep into my nose, and leaving me feeling like the wrong kind of bull. FML
Notcheating
🌶️ Spicy
Not a cheating!
Today, my father-in-law caught me, a lesbian, buying condoms. He thought I was cheating. I didn’t know how to tell him that his daughter is allergic to our dildo. FML
Anonymous
Australia
Smell good
Today, I was doing the laundry and changing the bed sheets. I found most of my underwear under my step daughters bed, when I asked her, she said that she liked the way they smelled. FML
Anonymous
🌶️ Spicy
Bold player
Today, my boyfriend stated that we should play a game where one person asks the other a question, and they answer it with a picture. I thought it sounded fun so I said yes. His first question was, "Do you shave your minge?" FML
anonymous
Oklahoma City, United States
Secret sex
Today, I had a dream that I had secret sex with Dumbledore more than once. FML
man down! man down...
Ottawa, Canada 🌶️ Spicy
Change it!
Today, I had sex with a friend. It was really good too! Until she kicked me in my right nut while changing positions. FML
never again
Bakersfield, United States
A real ******
Today, I finally had sex with the guy I like, but I had to pee really bad. It got really wet down there, and he thought I squirted. I peed everywhere. I let him believe he made me squirt. FML
Anonymous
Canada 🌶️ Spicy
I don't understand!
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend when I came. She got pissed and slapped me really hard for cumming inside her because she did not want to get pregnant. 1. I was wearing a condom. 2. She's on the pill. 3. We were having anal sex. FML
Anonymous
United States 🌶️ Spicy
WTF are you doing?
Today, I heard my sister masturbating in her room. I took the dog around the block to get out of the house, and I came back to see her leaving her room. She had my electric toothbrush in her hand. FML
Jim
Winfield, Canada 🌶️ Spicy
Bigger than...
Today, I was looking for my passport and I found my wife's new vibrator (that she failed to tell me she'd purchased). I understand now why she doesn't want sex with me anymore. That thing is much bigger than I am. FML
natrat222
Mesa, United States
Break up
Today, I decided to eat a whole tub of blueberries before seeing a guy I've been hooked up with for a year and a half. While giving a blow job, I ended throwing up the blueberries right before he came. He left immediately, deleted me on Snapchat and told me I need to get checked out. FML
wellokthen
Birmingham, United States 🌶️ Spicy
Bed move
Today, my friend sent me a link to a porn video. The guy in it was my boyfriend, the girl in it wasn't me, but they were in my bed. FML