Friends

Your name's not down, you're not coming in

By LieutenantDimwit - 12/12/2021 08:01 - Jordan

Today, after I was invited to a party a few days ago, I was removed from the group as the “maximum was 35”, but the host promised me to add me back if there was space left. I was just informed by my other friend that there’s now 60 people in the group, and that the host simply didn’t want me to come. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 158

You deserved it 126

Classic

By Daniel - 09/08/2021 16:01

Today, at work, I casually mentioned I was meeting some friends for dinner. My co-worker's response was, "You have friends?!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 900

You deserved it 107

Who's in charge?

By Anonymous - 01/05/2025 00:00 - United Kingdom

Today, a couple of days after my boyfriend came on a night out with my friends but made us leave early as he had an early work shift, he's now spent the last two nights out with his friends, late, and all my friends are busy and a bit peeved at us taking off early the other night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 287

You deserved it 249

Context

By Anonymous - 05/07/2024 14:00 - United States

Today, I found out that a old friend of mine and her man broke up because he cheated on her. For context, we stopped being friends after he came onto me after a night at a bar, and we semi-hooked up. I'm also a gay man. Should I reach out? FML

I agree, your life sucks 99

You deserved it 550

Cheesy

By Anonymous - 25/02/2022 18:00 - United States - Las Vegas

Today, I told my best friend that there was a time that I loved her, then told her it was today, yesterday, last week, last month, last year, and listed several years before that, etc. Her response? "Wow, I can't believe we've known each other that long." FML

I agree, your life sucks 904

You deserved it 385

Cut them off

By Anonymous - 02/11/2024 00:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I was yelled at by my ex's best friend and ex-partner. Long story short, I cheated and no, it wasn't right and wasn't a good thing to do, but now I'm being told he has the right to remind me everyday and make sure I never forget my mistakes, and that they are supposed to make sure I never fall out of line. FML

I agree, your life sucks 158

You deserved it 801

With friends like these…

By Anonymous - 25/09/2024 00:00 - United Kingdom - Doncaster

Today, I found out this week that I have a growth in my head that could be cancer. I messaged my closest best friend the news straight away, but she has completely ignored my message. It's now been three days and I've not heard a word from her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 539

You deserved it 79

She has a bright future in politics

By Anonymous - 16/06/2022 12:00

Today, I learned that my "friend" told my other friends that I was homophobic, sexist, and racist. None of that is true and she's just trying to turn everyone against me for no reason. She has also apparently been talking BS behind my back. Worst part is I did nothing to her. I don't know what to do now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 881

You deserved it 125

Coincidence?

By WhiteLiar - 04/03/2010 01:26 - United States

Today, I was telling a new friend of mine about my boyfriend. I told her his name and where he is from. She interrupted me and says, "Yeah drives a big white truck, rides dirt bikes?! I dated him two years ago!" This guy and I have dated for four years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 362

You deserved it 2 761

Get up, stand up!

By Can't win - 12/08/2024 12:00 - United States

Today, since I've been told (and am well aware) that I'm too nice, I've been trying to become more assertive. The only trouble is that I find it to be almost impossible, especially because my friends are always asking what my problem is when I stand up for myself. Isn't this what you wanted? FML

I agree, your life sucks 410

You deserved it 94

Bad girls

By Anonymous - 22/09/2022 01:30 - Austria - Graz

Today, I was meeting up with my three best friends from high school. I spent the entire day and some money to plan a wild girls' night, only to find out their day ends in the afternoon. All three wear ankle bracelets and have a strict curfew. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 132

You deserved it 269

Tornado warning

By DontWorryImDead - 04/04/2022 10:00

Today, it's been more than 3 days since a tornado ripped through my neighborhood. Several were injured, and there is millions of dollars of damage. Not a single family member has called, texted, or stopped by to see if I need help or got injured. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 127

You deserved it 103

It's on me

By doubledown - 04/06/2009 04:52 - United States

Today, I went to the bar I go to every week. My favorite bartender told me I owed $50 for a tab because the waiter screwed up and undercharged me. The tab was from when my friends bought me drinks to cheer me up because my girlfriend moved away. I ended up paying for my own drinks, plus theirs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 467

You deserved it 3 472

Nice day, innit?

By Anonymous - 11/05/2013 05:15 - United States

Today, my parents scoured my browser history, certain that I have a hidden Facebook account that I'm using to get up to no good. Their reasoning was that there's no way my only friends are my relatives and that all I can post about is about the weather. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 369

You deserved it 7 439

Let 'em in

By I don't know jack - 16/08/2021 10:01 - United States - Canal Winchester

Today, after none of my friends who said they'd be at the Jackbox game night I was hosting showed up on the Zoom call, I heard a knock at the door. All of them thought it was in person at my place, which is a mess. FML

I agree, your life sucks 485

You deserved it 893

Unreasonable

By Whipped af - 05/10/2023 01:30

Today, my wife forced me to delete a female friend’s number off my phone because she’s jealous of our friendship. She then showed me a demonstration of what will happen if I contact her again, with a photo she got from her Facebook, gasoline, and a match to “make sure we understand each other.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 869

You deserved it 231

Lonely

By GinaD - 02/05/2021 11:01

Today, my friend got an engagement ring. She’s been with her boyfriend for 2 years and it started as a one-night stand. Whenever I have one-night stands, the only thing I get is left on "read". FML

I agree, your life sucks 466

You deserved it 747

Susssy baka

By Anonymous - 26/04/2022 04:00 - United States

Today, my best friend told me she thinks my fiancé might be gay, because he won't cheat on me with her, like all my past boyfriends did. I'm sorry? My past boyfriends did WHAT with WHO? FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 094

You deserved it 157

Bucket list goals

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States - Marlborough

Today, I had to explain to my friend that being arrested isn't something a decent person should have on their bucket list. I had to explain this while bailing her out of jail. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 415

You deserved it 2 566

Creepypasta

By exiebestie - 26/04/2016 01:30 - Australia - Perth

Today, my ex-best friend, who I haven't spoken to in a year because of how obsessive she got, posted a picture of herself with dyed brown hair and glasses. We look like twins. Even I thought it was me. Some people are commenting that I look beautiful. School starts tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 432

You deserved it 1 467

Message in a bottle

By Anonymous - 24/08/2023 06:00

Today, I was at hospital and the nurse asked me for an emergency contact number. I was about to say my wife, but she divorced me last month. I couldn’t think of anyone else. My parents are dead, none of my other relatives live in this country, and I have no children or friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 964

You deserved it 120

Get me out of this time loop!

By Anonymous - 10/11/2024 03:00 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I ran into an old friend at the grocery store and told them, "Let’s catch up soon!" We then ran into each other in every single aisle. It got awkwarder and awkwarder, and by the fifth time I was pretty sure neither of us wanted to see the other ever again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 386

You deserved it 148

Think before you move

By Anonymous - 30/12/2023 06:00 - United States - Waverly

Today, after I moved across country to move in with my best friend, she decided to move in with her boyfriend a month into me being here. I don't know anyone here. She hasn't been home in 4 months and recently any time we've made plans, she stands me up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 597

You deserved it 180

Are you? Are you really?

By Anonymous - 22/10/2021 05:01

Today, a friend from our circle group told me that my behavior of responding to her stories with another related story of mine was annoying. I'm was sorry about that and decided to introspect and not show up in our group chat for a while. Then I realized I'm a toxic person. FML

I agree, your life sucks 691

You deserved it 525

Where am i?

By Anonymous - 11/04/2023 18:00

Today, I was playing basketball with my friends. I went up for a dunk and ended up hitting my head on the rim, knocking myself out. When I came to my senses, my "friends" had all left. Assholes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 920

You deserved it 166

Too awkward to function

By Anonymous - 28/06/2023 06:00 - United States - Stillwater

Today, my sister told me she doesn't think her mom died the way she was told. Uncomfortable, I declined to give my 2 cents on the matter, saying, "I'm sorry" and, "Oh sh!t, sorry." She started gaslighting me about how I wasn't listening, and I told her I was sorry for being a piece of shit, so she then gaslit me about that too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 264

You deserved it 712

We have so much in common

By Frank - 19/09/2022 09:00

Today, my girlfriend of 4 years confessed to me that she had sex with my best friend before she started to date me. Funny thing is, I'm bi and had sex with the same best friend at around the same time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 896

You deserved it 697

Morrissey, circa 1986

By Super Soaker - 09/09/2022 10:30 - United States

Today, I learned the news about Queen Elizabeth in the most awkward way possible. My friend suddenly came into my house and shouted, "THE QUEEN IS DEAD!" It scared me so badly that I spit my drink out all over his clothes. Then I took another drink and spit it out again when I realized who he was referring to. FML

I agree, your life sucks 782

You deserved it 505

Buyers' market

By Anonymous - 01/05/2026 15:00 - Canada - Montreal

Today, I'm a 34 year-old single woman on the dating apps. A guy suggested we try a swing dance lesson as our first date. I said yes. We had a good time both of us and we exchanged numbers. Later I got a text from him saying he had a connection with another match, but we should remain friends for another dance "date". Dude is 43. FML

I agree, your life sucks 369

You deserved it 106

Seasons gatherings

By What - 29/12/2022 00:00

Today, an old friend of my mom's yelled at me for "ignoring" her. I wasn't responding because she was getting my name wrong, so I assumed she was referring to someone else. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 037

You deserved it 119

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Mysterious Miscellaneous Work Dogs Animals Awkward Cute Friends Love Parenting Kids Health Annoying Cheating Public freakouts Dating First Dates Liar Scams Social Media Messy Food NSFW Sex Intimacy Relatable Money Embarrassing Neighbours Boredom

The Top

Today, I kissed my gorgeous new boyfriend for the first time. I ran my hands through his hair; a multitude of dandruff rained out and five lice crawled onto my hand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 395

You deserved it 7 210

Today, I was reading a book in German, which I don't know very well. Suddenly I reached a passage I had no trouble understanding. Excited, I showed my husband, saying I was finally getting the hang of it. He laughed and patted my head. Turns out, that particular passage was a quote. In English. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 382

You deserved it 38 355

Today, I interviewed potential employees for a job position that I was supposed to get promoted to. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 554

You deserved it 2 371

Today, I got fired from work. Why? I finally took a stand for myself and confronted my coworker of writing things up in my name for herself, and it getting deducted from my check. So she went to the manager and accused me of sexual harassment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 118

You deserved it 3 946

Today, I took my dogs to an empty park. While they were running around, I laid down in the grass to read a book. Someone thought I was a dead body and called the cops. The police and paramedics showed up. This is the second time it's happened. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 660

You deserved it 5 027

Today, while discussing having sex for the first time with my boyfriend, I asked what method of birth control we should use. He replied, "Anal." FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 035

You deserved it 979