Friends

Mix up

By Anonymous - 22/08/2021 10:31 - Iran, Islamic Republic of - Pishgaman

Today, I found out that the person I love, who is also a friend, is now in a relationship with my sister. FML

I agree, your life sucks 836

You deserved it 148

Friends like these

By Anonymous - 22/08/2021 05:01 - United Kingdom - Brighton

Today, I found out that my closest friend of many years had been putting on a charade of being my friend, and has decided that they can't be bothered with the effort of me existing any more. FML

I agree, your life sucks 867

You deserved it 107

Healthcare in the US is ****** up

By Anonymous - 22/08/2021 04:01

Today, I was out with friends when one of them started complaining about having to spend $50 on two copays for his therapist. He makes more a week than I do in three, and I can't even get seen by any type of healthcare professional because nowhere is accepting new patients. FML

I agree, your life sucks 750

You deserved it 96

Friends and family

By Anonymous - 19/08/2021 09:59

Today, it was my birthday. None of my family members wished me a happy birthday and neither did the 1,000+ "friends" I have on Facebook either. FML

I agree, your life sucks 870

You deserved it 367

Safe bet

By nerdy09 - 19/08/2021 03:59

Today, a guy sent me, “I miss you.” I invited him to come over for a movie, but he then said, “I’m down for that, but I expect you to hook up with me.” I guess that’s all I’m good for? FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 174

You deserved it 259

Let 'em in

By I don't know jack - 16/08/2021 04:01 - United States - Canal Winchester

Today, after none of my friends who said they'd be at the Jackbox game night I was hosting showed up on the Zoom call, I heard a knock at the door. All of them thought it was in person at my place, which is a mess. FML

I agree, your life sucks 482

You deserved it 892

Sounds more like a "you" problem

By Anonymous - 15/08/2021 08:01

Today, I was hanging out with friends of the opposite sex, which is the norm for me as I don’t get along with most women. Every time I spoke, I got ignored or spoken over, and they kept asking me what was wrong. Ugh, men. FML

I agree, your life sucks 412

You deserved it 1 257

SIKE!

By Anonymous - 10/08/2021 16:01

Today, my psychiatrist diagnosed me with a personality disorder. So now I have no friends, no job, no love, but I've got a personality disorder. FML

I agree, your life sucks 856

You deserved it 121

What happens in the woods stays in the woods

By sulfuric_acid - 10/08/2021 06:01 - Canada

Today, on Facebook, I noticed my friend had posted a picture entitled, "Does a bear shit in the woods?" Curious, I checked it out and discovered that while on our hunting trip, my friends took a picture of me, pants around my ankles, leaned up against a tree taking a dump. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 253

You deserved it 215

Classic

By Daniel - 09/08/2021 16:01

Today, at work, I casually mentioned I was meeting some friends for dinner. My co-worker's response was, "You have friends?!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 899

You deserved it 107

Sharing is caring

By blackrose - 08/08/2021 02:01

Today, I ran into an old friend of mine at the store. All was going fine, until she showed me her new fiancé. My now ex-boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 147

You deserved it 91

Territorial

By grow up! - 07/08/2021 14:01

Today, I went back home for a visit after nearly 10 years. I met up with some old friends at a bar and had an amazing evening. Afterwards, two of the wives told me I’m never allowed to speak to, nor see their husbands again, since I slept with them in high school. This was years before they even met. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 216

You deserved it 244

Healthy relationship goals

By leapfrog998 - 05/08/2021 14:01 - Canada - Bancroft

Today, my husband told me to stop being friends with my best guy friend because I won't let him hang out with his ex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 535

You deserved it 994

Festival spirit

By Festivalgal - 01/08/2021 20:01

Today, I went to a music festival with my boyfriend and ran into his female bestie. She refused to say “Hello”, looked at me up and down, and made passive-aggressive remarks under her breath. After a while of us three hanging out, she stormed off and told him, "We’ll talk about this later, call me." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 853

You deserved it 168

Seems unlikely

By Anonymous - 30/07/2021 22:01 - United States - Brookville

Today, I teasingly asked my crush why he never came to visit me in my dorm. He said that all his friends there had moved out and gotten apartments, so he had no reason to go to my dorm. Oh. I thought we were friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 863

You deserved it 181

Eventful day

By Anonymous - 30/07/2021 23:01 - Bahrain - Manama

Today, my boyfriend and I got into a fight after the gym. Then, a cheesecake I'd baked for a client cracked all the way through. Then, my oven broke as I was trying to make a new one, so I left to bake it at a friend's house, at which point I locked my keys and all of my supplies inside my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 117

You deserved it 143

Don't know, don't care

By Anonymous - 29/07/2021 00:01

Today, I realised that if I died, no one would care. I know this because when I called my partner distressed last night, he told me he needed to sleep and hung up in less than 45 seconds, and a friend told me to call lifeline. I haven’t heard from either of them since. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 138

You deserved it 218

Which is worse

By Anonymous - 27/07/2021 19:01 - United States - Hot Springs National Park

Today, I found out that my best friend of 25 years, who doesn't believe that her boyfriend raped me, unfriended me on Nintendo Switch online. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 301

You deserved it 181

You can talk to us

By Lonely Loser - 27/07/2021 02:01 - United States

Today, I started self-harming again. My therapist keeps switching the subject when I try to bring it up, and my best friend has called me attention-seeking and selfish so many times in the past year that I’m too scared to ask for her support. I have nobody else to talk to. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 347

You deserved it 268

Hangry for that Mickey D's

By anonymous - 23/07/2021 07:59

Today, I was in bed with my boyfriend, starting to get intimate with him, when one of his friends walked into the room, grabbed my leg, and pulled me onto the floor. His reason? He was hungry and wanted to go to McDonald's. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 631

You deserved it 183

Catching my breath

By Hamish - 22/07/2021 06:01 - United Kingdom

Today, I had an asthma attack while walking home with my friends. As I was struggling to breathe, they thought I was attention-seeking and left me on the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 124

You deserved it 111

Social science

By Josh - 16/07/2021 06:01 - United States

Today, a friend came over to meet my new dog. The dog got excited and accidentally peed on him. I went to the kitchen to get something to clean it up. When I came back, my new dog was covered in my friend's pee. My friend claimed that peeing on my dog "showed dominance." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 369

You deserved it 179

So much in common

By Anonymous - 10/07/2021 20:01 - New Zealand

Today, my old high school mates organised a dinner hangout so that my recent ex, who is part of our group, could introducing her new boyfriend to us. I was late and the only remaining seat available was next to the new boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 873

You deserved it 301

Weirdo

By Alcina - 10/07/2021 14:01 - United States - Staten Island

Today, I learned that my friend's "No shoes in the house" rule was only told to me so he had an excuse to see my feet. I found out when he had a group of us over and I was the only one barefoot, while he didn't care that everyone else had shoes on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 041

You deserved it 125

Lonely

By Anonymous - 09/07/2021 02:01 - Australia - Kenwick

Today, the only notification I got on my phone all day was a reminder I set to take a fibre supplement and stool softener. FML

I agree, your life sucks 757

You deserved it 161

It isn't

By Anonymous - 08/07/2021 16:02

Today, it's my birthday, none of my friends wished me a thing. I spent the whole day crying and then decided to call few of them and sobbingly demanded an explanation. Most of them didn't pick up, the rest called me a drama queen, saying that my birthday isn't as important as I think. FML

I agree, your life sucks 776

You deserved it 1 812

Grossed out

By eww David - 06/07/2021 02:01

Today, my friend is upset with me since I never want to hang out at her house or eat her food. The problem is she has multiple dog beds in her kitchen and a cat litter box under her dining room table. I love her and invite her to hang out other places, but she’s still offended I won’t go to her’s. FML

I agree, your life sucks 955

You deserved it 157

Weird friendship, but OK

By Anonymous - 29/06/2021 14:01

Today, I'm completely in love with my best friend, who I've known for over 10 years. I can't get him out of my head. Too bad he's married, with 2 kids. FML

I agree, your life sucks 797

You deserved it 474

Get me out of here

By Anonymous - 25/06/2021 23:02 - United States - Schertz

Today, I had a sleepover with two of my friends. We only had one bed, and it ended up with me against the wall. I then remembered that I'm very claustrophobic, and can't sleep. It's 4 a.m. FML

I agree, your life sucks 734

You deserved it 272

That one friend who changes once they're in a relationship

By Anonymous - 25/06/2021 13:01 - United States - Thousand Oaks

Today, my best friend and my brother are in love. I've been her friend for 10 years, and she’s an absolutely horny whore. She treats me like shit 25/8 now. If I hadn't become friends with her, they wouldn’t have met. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 015

You deserved it 285

FML on Facebook

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I asked my 2 year old son to clean up his toys. When I bent down to give him a good job kiss afterwards, he punched me in the nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 687

You deserved it 12 254

Today, while walking to the corner store, I noticed a car full of teenage girls. As I got closer to the store, one of them who was still getting in, says, "Hurry, here comes a pedo!" I turned to look and see who they were talking about, but there was no one behind me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 031

You deserved it 161

Today, my 6 year-old daughter got mad at me for not buying her yet another expensive doll. I had to pull her away, and she started screaming for help. The next thing I know, another shopper puts me in a chokehold and calls for security, all while my daughter smirks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 091

You deserved it 6 212

Today, after months of lacking intimacy in our relationship, my girlfriend decided to spice things up by covering her naked body with whipped cream. Except, we didn't have any in the fridge, so instead I had to politely lick shaving cream off of her while fighting the urge to vomit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 984

You deserved it 15 987

Today, we had a substitute teacher. She was taking attendance and had trouble pronouncing my last name. When I corrected her, I heard her mutter under her breath about, “Goddamn Mexican immigrants…” I’m from Greek ancestry, born in the USA. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 601

You deserved it 149

Today, I was working at the mall as the girl that stands around giving out samples of the foods. This guy came up to me and we were flirting for at least 30 minutes. With the tray in one hand, I gave him my cell to put his number in it. He ran away with my phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 306

You deserved it 47 161