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Submit your FML

Have you just experienced an FML moment?

Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Your instinct was right, because it’s good to laugh life off. Follow the instructions below, and if your story gets through the moderation process, it'll published in the next 24 hours or so.


    Remaining characters: 320

    Your story must start with “Today,” and end with “FML”. TXT language is forbidden and spelling mistakes hurt people’s eyeballs, so the use of either would result in the direct dismissal of your FML. Don’t use this space for discussions, advertising or spam, or for posting anything which isn’t an FML. Furthermore, it’s not possible to obtain badges by posting keywords, so stop believing things you’ve read on message boards. Don’t try reposting old FMLs, we’re not that daft.


    Please read our guidelines for posting

    Fight

    Cassius

    By Noname - 11/03/2009 06:04 - United States

    Today, I went on my porch for a late night cigarette. When I opened the door and took one step inside, all I remember is a big thud. I woke up 5 minutes later with my father over top of me saying, "Nice right hook, huh?" Then he chuckled. He thought I was a burglar and he knocked me out. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 58 484
    You deserved it 9 482
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    Keywords

    Kids Fight Weird Toys Health Embarrassing Funerals Poopoo peepee My ex I need your advice Relatable Love Harassment Intimacy Sex Friends Cheating Tattoos Bodyshaming Gross Smells Work Surgery Money Underwear Cops Gun control Transportation Cars Weather
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    Today, I spent well over an hour waiting for customer service to assist me with my forgotten password, only to realize, 5 minutes into the conversation, that I had never created an account in the first place. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 18 271
    You deserved it 28 906
    Today, I went to college, where I'm studying for my dream job. Despite getting up at 5am to catch the earliest bus into town, I arrived ten minutes late. My professor knows my circumstances, but is still threatening to kick me off the course if I don't "arrive on time like everyone else." FML
    I agree, your life sucks 43 905
    You deserved it 8 012
    Today, I woke up at 4:40AM and went to the kitchen. My brother and his steel-capped boots easily found me in the dark. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 29 042
    You deserved it 3 853
    Today, my boyfriend got off for real for the first time during sex. Apparently, he's been faking it for the past two months. I didn't even know guys could do that. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 20 020
    You deserved it 25 095
    Today, trying to be a good co-parent, I asked my ex if he’d like to go to the circus with our kids and I. His new girlfriend of a whopping five days said it made her uncomfortable. He stood us up. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 2 196
    You deserved it 195
    Today, I once again got less than 20 hours of work for the entire week. My boss's solution? Double the staff. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 737
    You deserved it 75
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