Embarrassing

Help me, doofus!

By rabbitoncocaine - 20/04/2012 06:41 - Germany - Unterbreizbach

Today, I locked my car. I put the key in my bag when suddenly my car began to roll backwards. I tried to get the key out of my bag but couldn't find it, and with the other hand I tried to stop the car. The worst thing was that some dumbass was watching me and didn't help. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 493

You deserved it 21 857

Say it, don't spray it

By Anonymous - 05/05/2024 00:00 - Australia

Today, I was giving a presentation in front of my class. Mid-speech, I felt a sudden urge to sneeze and tried to hold it in. Instead, I let out the most obnoxious, window-rattling sneeze imaginable, complete with a spray of snot, which landed on my notes. I think I traumatized my classmates for life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 423

You deserved it 123

By EmbarrassedWife - 10/01/2019 04:00

Today, I texted my husband saying, “No sex tonight, it’s a bloodbath” and realized it was in a group chat with his parents, not directly to him like I'd intended. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 421

You deserved it 2 056

Great look

By Anonymous - 12/11/2021 17:00

Today, I had a conversation with my work crush. I walked back to my office, only to realize I had breakfast in my hair. I had oatmeal for breakfast, and it looked like puke. FML

I agree, your life sucks 800

You deserved it 317

Clinging on

By Jeremy - 26/07/2025 00:00 - Australia - Adelaide

Today, I did laundry after weeks of procrastinating. Feeling accomplished, I wore a freshly cleaned hoodie to work. Halfway through the day, I discovered my niece’s Paw Patrol underwear clinging to the inside of my hood. I’d been walking around with Chase the Police Dog flapping behind my head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 336

You deserved it 207

Classic backfire

By Anonymous - 02/09/2023 04:00

Today, I was in a quiet library, trying to stifle a sneeze. In the process, I let out an embarrassingly loud and dramatic snort that echoed through the room. Heads turned. Many stared. FML

I agree, your life sucks 564

You deserved it 179

He hath risen

By Anonymous - 09/04/2023 11:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I was at the grocery store when I tripped and knocked over a tower of Easter chocolate. The sound was so loud that everyone in the store stopped and stared at me while I tried to rearrange the chocolate bells, bunnies, and eggs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 780

You deserved it 199

Work it out

By Stevey - 17/07/2025 15:00 - United States - Atlanta

Today, I went to my gym and tried a new workout machine that had just been installed. I set the weight too high and ended up stuck halfway through a lift, making weird struggling noises. Most people around me stopped and stared as I awkwardly dropped the weights. FML

I agree, your life sucks 116

You deserved it 373

Classy

By EK. - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, in the middle of dinner, I went to rest my chin on my hand, missed, and stuck the straw from my drink straight up my nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 459

You deserved it 8 038

Classic mistake

By 暂不提供 - 02/08/2025 15:00 - Singapore - Singapore

Today, I realized I'd lost my wallet when paying for groceries. I had to put all the items back and leave the store feeling so embarrassed in front of everyone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 450

You deserved it 106

Making a scene

By Anonymous - 24/11/2017 05:00

Today, I got my septum piercing stuck in a bag of cinnamon pine cones at Target. My boyfriend was wearing a red shirt with khaki pants, so all the other shoppers probably thought I'd had to call a Target employee over to "cut" me out of the bag. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 760

You deserved it 1 586

HELP!

By David - 18/03/2025 09:00 - United States

Today, I was in a public restroom at a concert when I realized I was locked in. The door was jammed, and there was no way out. I knocked, I tried to force it, I even climbed through the air vent to escape, only to end up covered in dust and toilet paper. Meanwhile, people outside could hear me yelling “HELP!” for a solid 20 minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 406

You deserved it 95

YOU TOLD THEM??

By Anonymous - 27/02/2022 18:00

Today, according to my husband's brother, he only went on a second date with me all those years ago because I gave him head on our first date. His father and stepmother supported this claim as well. I can’t decide if I’m more embarrassed they know, or furious that he told them something so crude. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 234

You deserved it 700

You tried

By Loveless - 10/09/2009 06:18 - United States

Today, during foreplay, I was trying to be sexy. But instead I fell off the bed, landed in the laundry basket, and was attacked by the dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 196

You deserved it 5 711

Britain's Got Talent?

By Anonymous - 13/04/2026 15:00 - United Kingdom

Today, during an important music audition, I fudged everything up and forgot half the lyrics of the song I was performing, so I just sort of tailed off into embarrassed silence on stage. It was an original song, I wrote the lyrics myself. All the lady could say was, "Good luck next year, dear." FML

I agree, your life sucks 344

You deserved it 141

Skittish

By Anonymous - 13/06/2026 22:00 - United States - Salt Lake City

Today, I've been into this guy at work forever, and we've been flirting more and more lately. Today he came up behind me, but I didn't see him. He said "Hi!" and scared me so bad that I farted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 342

You deserved it 93

Practise makes perfect

By Anonymous - 16/06/2023 16:00

Today, I've practised a particular fast passage at least hundreds of times, it was perfect… then came the competition. I sat down on the chair and played it, but halfway through, my instrument chose to just fall off my hand, not even the bow or something, the entire instrument. It was recorded too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 678

You deserved it 138

Room service

By Anonymous - 05/08/2026 03:00 - United States - Las Vegas

Today, I spent at least 10 minutes trying to get into my hotel room because my key card wouldn't work. I finally went to the front desk, where they came along with me, then politely informed me I was trying to open the room next door to mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 97

You deserved it 380

I suck

By Anonymous - 18/02/2023 12:00

Today, I sucked so bad that I faked an injury during a football game to get out of playing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 316

You deserved it 653

Hang in there

By Ethan - 29/01/2025 00:00 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I leaned back in my chair during a meeting to appear (and feel) more relaxed. Instead, the chair tipped over, and I went down like a tree in slow motion. FML

I agree, your life sucks 152

You deserved it 473

Nice

By Anonymous - 27/07/2024 09:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I was at a coffee shop, trying to get to know the cute new barista. I wanted to compliment his nice eyes, but I got nervous and blurted out, "You have nice elbows!" He stared at me, confused, as I quickly grabbed my coffee and left. Now I can't even imagine going back there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 172

You deserved it 456

Say it, don't spray it

By Anonymous - 05/10/2024 12:00 - United States - Warren

Today, as I was trying to get into the grocery store, I had a sneezing fit. I've typically never had one, so I didn't really know how to handle it. This one was a new record: 11 sneezes and I hadn't had the foresight to bring tissues. FML

I agree, your life sucks 360

You deserved it 103

Cashflow not flowing

By Zxry123 - 25/01/2023 20:30 - Singapore - Singapore

Today, I went to eat at a restaurant in Singapore with a friend of mine. I checked my wallet and I had a bit of cash, so I went in to have a large dinner. The most awkward moment that I had was when I took out my money and realized that it wasn't Singapore dollars. It was all in Malaysian ringgits. FML

I agree, your life sucks 339

You deserved it 875

Mom! No!

By Mnnn - 18/07/2023 18:00

Today, I angrily scolded one of my employees for making an avoidable mistake for the third time. Unfortunately, my mother decided to pay me a surprise visit, and arrived mid-rant. She chewed me out for being mean and made me apologize. Now everyone at work calls me "mama's boy" and nobody takes me seriously. FML

I agree, your life sucks 324

You deserved it 1 150

Back to black

By drycleanplz - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - Reserved

Today, I wore my expensive new white jacket to work, thinking it would be a nice change from my usual black. I managed to lean in printer ink. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 102

You deserved it 13 082

Taking it too far

By Anonymous - 11/09/2021 23:00 - Bangladesh - Chittagong

Today, I was playing GTA V, and being the horny bastard that I am, I went to the club and was getting a lap dance in-game. My cousin walked in to find me kissing the TV. FML

I agree, your life sucks 213

You deserved it 3 184

Never going to live this down

By Anonymous - 01/09/2023 16:00 - United States - Warren

Today, I went up to take a shower. I typically go to the bathroom first, I take a mega dump, then flush the toilet. Not only wouldn't the toilet flush but I found out my parents only keep one plunger on hand. It was in the downstairs bathroom. My dad came upstairs and plunged the toilet while I stood there naked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 515

You deserved it 302

Grease is the word

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was Rizzo in a production of Grease. I sang a line about needing a ring. I've been able to put up my left ring finger for every rehearsal, but today I put up the one next to it. I flipped off the audience. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 832

You deserved it 24 643

Putting people off their food

By Anonymous - 03/06/2022 18:00

Today, in a restaurant, staff asked me to fix my skirt because multiple customers complained my buttcrack was putting them off their food. I thought the waiter was using fake complaints to justify his rudeness, but when I got up to fix it fully, half the restaurant applauded me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 324

You deserved it 2 094

The cost of sucking up

By Louis DJ - 04/02/2025 22:00 - Canada

Today, I was at a fancy restaurant with my boss, trying to make a good impression. I ordered the most expensive steak on the menu, only to later realize I'd forgotten my wallet. My boss had to pay for the meal, and I'm wondering if my job in accounting is now on the line. FML

I agree, your life sucks 92

You deserved it 732

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The Top

Today, I came back from vacation to find a packet on the company's stress management programs on my desk. I was sent the same packet over my vacation. I got the same packet from my boss as I left. All because I snapped at a co-worker who was throwing a tantrum over the Star Wars trailer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 443

You deserved it 3 880

Today, My friend and I were stopped at a red light while it was pouring rain. We heard a screeching noise off in the distance and thought, "Hope someone doesn't get hit." Someone did get hit. We did. From behind. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 360

You deserved it 3 528

Today, I just found out that I was missing almost $500 from my debit card. Turns out my brother used my card to simp on a streamer. When I confronted him, he said, "But you would have simped on her either way." FML

I agree, your life sucks 867

You deserved it 158

Today, I found out that the middle of the night is the time my Mom's crazy cats like to climb all over everything. They're adult cats but are still like kittens, so I get scared out of my wits whenever they knock something over in the middle of the night, because my mom didn't kitten-proof things for adult cats. FML

I agree, your life sucks 377

You deserved it 165

Today, someone has been knocking at my back door all day then running away, driving me mad. Turns out, next door has a new dog and the knocking was actually the dog wagging its tail hard against their back door. This means it won’t ever stop, it’s going to keep banging that damn tail forever. FML

I agree, your life sucks 392

You deserved it 116

Today, I was wedding dress shopping. My fiance is only paying for the dress if I buy a size 10 or under. I’m currently a size 18. Apparently, this will give me “incentive to get in shape for the wedding.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 511

You deserved it 208