Embarrassing

Dribble drizzle

By Anonymous - 02/05/2025 22:00 - United States - Chicago

Today, I took a quick nap in my car during my lunch break. When I woke up, I had drooled all over myself and had a large wet stain on my shirt. I tried to pretend it was a "sweat stain" but ended up walking into a meeting looking like I'd been caught in a downpour of my own making. FML

I agree, your life sucks 360

You deserved it 173

Buffing up

By I hate myself - 02/05/2025 20:00 - Canada - Ottawa

Today, after I finally joined a gym, I was feeling pretty good until I attempted to use a machine I'd never seen before. After 10 minutes of awkwardly pressing random buttons and trying to figure out how it worked, the instructor walked over and asked if I needed help. I had been on the rowing machine, trying to use it as a leg press. FML

I agree, your life sucks 131

You deserved it 521

Run for your life

By Anonymous - 01/05/2025 03:00 - United States

Today, at work, we had a fire drill. I was the first to run out of the building, but in my haste, I tripped on the stairs, and rolled down the flight. When I got to the bottom, I tried to stand up, but my ankle was already swelling. What felt like the entire office watched as I limped to the designated meeting point. FML

I agree, your life sucks 200

You deserved it 447

How does this keep happening?

By Anonymous - 30/04/2025 22:00 - Australia

Today, I sent an email to my boss complaining about how lazy one of my coworkers is and how I’m always having to pick up the slack. I realized too late that I'd Cc'd the coworker I was talking about. His reply was basically, “You’re welcome for doing my job while you waste your time complaining.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 100

You deserved it 530

Making the scene

By billie - 29/04/2025 15:00 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, I had my first day in an acting class. Our assignment was to perform a dramatic monologue. I got super into it, threw myself into character, and dramatically fell to my knees to deliver a line. Unfortunately, my knees slipped, and I faceplanted into the floor in front of the entire class. FML

I agree, your life sucks 361

You deserved it 170

Oh, hi Mark!

By Anonymous - 28/04/2025 15:00 - Canada - Calgary

Today, a cute stranger waved at me on the street. I waved back enthusiastically, smiling like an idiot. Then I realized she was waving at her dog behind me. I then turned around and waved at the dog, then scurried home to bury my embarrassment in a pillow on my couch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 302

You deserved it 129

Arnold Layne

By Anonymous - 28/04/2025 12:00 - United States - Portland

Today, my cat brought me a “gift” by dragging in a sock from my neighbor’s porch. It was a child's sock. I took it back to them, but I'm pretty sure the neighbor now thinks I steal clothes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 329

You deserved it 106

Balanced

By Anna - 28/04/2025 09:00 - Australia

Today, I went to the grocery store in my brand new high heels. I tried to be graceful as I walked down the aisle but ended up slipping on some spilled juice and doing a weird half-dance, half-flailing thing. The shoppers around me turned to watch as I clumsily tried to regain my balance. As if that wasn’t bad enough, I also knocked over a display of discounted snacks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 202

You deserved it 414

Knackered

By Anonymous - 27/04/2025 12:00 - United States

Today, I was feeling tired after a work meeting, so I took a quick power nap in my office before my next meeting. When I woke up, I thought I was still in a meeting, but I had been asleep for an hour. In my panic, I tried to act cool, but I had to walk past all my coworkers, who were wondering why I looked like a zombie walking into a meeting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 125

You deserved it 352

Don't call us, we'll call you

By Despair - 27/04/2025 09:00 - United Kingdom - Manchester

Today, I was at a job interview and, just as I was about to answer a question, I suddenly got the worst case of hiccups. I tried to hold them in but ended up hiccuping in rhythm, making me sound like a malfunctioning robot. I spent the rest of the interview with a red face and no idea how to get my dignity back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 417

You deserved it 74

Tanned pits

By huulo - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff

Today, I was getting ready for the school swimming carnival and was running very late. I reached for my deodorant and sprayed it on. It was only when I was at the pool that I realized I had accidentally grabbed the spray tan and covered my underarms in it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 647

You deserved it 28 422

This is not a drill

By Anonymous - 26/04/2025 00:00 - United States

Today, my office building had a surprise fire drill. As I rushed to exit, I realized that I’d put on a shirt that was way too tight. It felt like it was practically cutting off my circulation, and I couldn’t breathe too well. I tried to suck in my stomach but almost passed out in the process. I spent the rest of the drill struggling with my shirt while people gave me weird looks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 84

You deserved it 479

Kick it

By lukey101 - 24/04/2025 22:00 - Australia

Today, my worst fear was realised while walking past an under 15’s football game. The ball landed right by me and I attempted to kick it back, except it went flying diagonally & ended up even further away. I’m a 36 year-old man and got roasted by a bunch of 15 year-old boys. FML

I agree, your life sucks 238

You deserved it 322

Wardrobe malfunction

By Anonymous - 24/04/2025 12:00 - United States - Tarpon Springs

Today, I tripped and fell, and didn’t realize my tank top strap broke. I walked around with my boob out for a solid 3 minutes in PUBLIC until my friend ran up behind me and yanked my tank top back up. He found it funny, and apparently everyone else got a great view. Talk about embarrassing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 255

You deserved it 382

Template

By Chad - 21/04/2025 20:00 - United States - York Village

Today, I made a digital contact card for my department that needed to be sent to payroll. Since we didn't have one before, I sent a copy to the rest of the department to use if they wanted. I didn't send the blank though. I sent 100s of people all of my contact info. Somehow, I managed to misspell my own name too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 103

You deserved it 519

So sorry!

By Anonymous - 15/04/2025 15:00 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, I took my dog to the park, and he ran straight into a group of people having a picnic. Naturally, he grabbed the biggest piece of meat in sight and ran off with it. As I chased him, I tripped and fell in front of everyone. My dog then sat and chewed the meat in front of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 154

You deserved it 582

Stalkerish

By Anonymous - 15/04/2025 09:00 - United States - New York

Today, I was trying to take a sneaky picture of the cute guy sitting across from me on the train. My phone’s flash went off. I panicked, dropped my phone, and then had to awkwardly stand up to retrieve it while he just stared at me, clearly aware of what had happened. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46

You deserved it 734

Stay out of trouble, kids

By Anonymous - 14/04/2025 15:00 - United States - Atlanta

Today, I complimented a woman on her "beautiful pregnancy glow" at the grocery store. She wasn’t pregnant. She was holding a melon. I’ve never backed out of a conversation so fast in my life. Note to self: Don't go grocery shopping after a night of drinking and no sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35

You deserved it 748

A freak out for all to bee

By death to bees - 13/04/2025 09:00 - United States - New York

Today, a bee buzzed towards me, so I screamed and started frantically flailing and thrashing my arms, praying it wouldn't sting me. I threw my full cup of hot coffee in the face of the man next to me, and launched my laptop out of its bag and onto the pavement, where it broke in half. FML

I agree, your life sucks 101

You deserved it 876

All mine

By Anonymous - 12/04/2025 22:00 - United States - Maryland Heights

Today, feeling generous, I bought a dozen donuts for my coworkers. Instead, I ended up taking them into my office and eating all of them in the first hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 89

You deserved it 564

Desks are so judgmental these days!

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2019 but it's good stuff

Today, I was promptly told to lose weight today by my computer desk when it broke under the weight of my leg. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 349

You deserved it 814

I hate shopping

By Kelly - 11/04/2025 00:00 - United States - Seattle

Today, I tried a polo neck sweater on at a store, and when I tried to take it off, it got stuck halfway over my head. I panicked and tugged harder, only to realize I was now stuck inside, unable to get it off. A store employee finally saw me struggling and came help me. I'm never going back there again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 191

You deserved it 109

Many such cases

By Anonymous - 10/04/2025 22:00 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, I was in a meeting at work, trying to keep my composure. I quietly shifted in my chair and accidentally let out a fart. It echoed in the conference room, and everyone stared at me in stunned silence. My boss sarcastically said, “Well, that’s just, like, your opinion, man.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 142

You deserved it 213

Feed me and shut up

By a fatty - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff

Today, the lady running the pastry shop asked who I buy the second pastry for every day. I lied and told her that it's for a coworker. I eat them both. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 805

You deserved it 36 649

Bathroom breakdown

By Anonymous - 10/04/2025 00:00 - United States

Today, I used the public restroom at a park. After washing my hands, I went to dry them, only to realize there were no paper towels. I thought the air dryer would work, but it broke halfway through, leaving me standing there, awkwardly fanning my hands with my arms spread wide. A group of teenagers walked in and started laughing at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 182

You deserved it 316

I don't know what I'm doing

By louise - 09/04/2025 20:00 - United States

Today, I went to the grocery store and used the self-checkout for speed. Everything was going fine until I tried to weigh a watermelon. The machine beeped every time, but the price didn’t show up, just an error message. I tried to weigh it again and again, until an employee came over, sighed, and said, “That’s a cantaloupe, not a watermelon.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 88

You deserved it 515

Performance art

By Christine - 09/04/2025 00:00 - United States

Today, I was in a video call with my boss when my Wi-Fi decided to take a vacation. I thought I could salvage the situation by using my iPhone’s hotspot. But then my phone ran out of data mid-sentence, and my boss got a glimpse of me cursing at my phone while frantically waving it in the air. FML

I agree, your life sucks 353

You deserved it 119

Great presentation!

By Sarah - 08/04/2025 00:00 - Australia

Today, I wore a new pair of heels to an interview. Halfway through, as they were showing me around the production floor, one of my heels snapped. I was forced to finish the interview wobbling on one heel like a drunk flamingo. I wasn’t offered the job, but they did say, “You have great balance.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 447

You deserved it 107

FOR SALE

By Only me - 07/04/2025 22:00 - France

Today, on the advice of a girl from sales, I sent a company-wide email with the subject line, "FOR SALE - 2010 Toyota Camry." I realized the social faux pas a minute later when my department head replied-to-all, "FOR SALE - half eaten sandwich." Now everyone thinks I’m a dumbass for confusing company emails for Craigslist, and for believing anyone who works in sales. FML

I agree, your life sucks 99

You deserved it 561

Emergency!

By Not again!!! - 07/04/2025 20:00 - United States - Spokane

Today, I had a major digestive emergency while at work. I rushed to the bathroom, just to realize there were no toilet paper rolls left. In a moment of desperation, I used the last few pages of my notebook to make do. Now I’m terrified of what’s going to happen if my boss ever asks for the reports I wrote in that notebook. FML

I agree, your life sucks 374

You deserved it 106

FML on Facebook

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The Top

Today, my extremely racist coworker was doing his usual thing. Since it was 9/11 he went absolutely hardcore on his "jokes" so I reported it to my supervisor. She asked what did he say specifically and I recited it to her. She decided to write me up for "making inappropriate comments at work". FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 128

You deserved it 1 338

Today, I received a break-up text while in a cramped car with my whole family. I had to choke back tears as we got stuck in traffic with the radio playing one love song after another. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 479

You deserved it 2 421

Today, a baseball bat fell on my head while my boyfriend and I were cuddling. The same baseball bat that he keeps next to the bed, because he genuinely fears a zombie outbreak. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 246

You deserved it 3 880

Today, I work as a cashier, and as always, I asked the customer paying credit to sign the "sheet" of paper. I received a dirty look from one woman who apparently talked to the manager about me, saying I had asked her to sign the "shitty" paper. I have now been warned for "derogatory language." FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 681

You deserved it 2 836

Today, I got a call that my custom order bridesmaid dress is at the apartment complex I just moved out of. They won’t give it to me because I’m no longer a resident, but they just thought I should know. The wedding’s tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 438

You deserved it 398

Today, my dad came home and wanted to grab a glass. It wasn't in direct sight so he slammed the cupboard door so hard, I peed my pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 616

You deserved it 192