Awkward

Cougartown

By Anonymous - 06/08/2025 21:00 - United States - Dayton

Today, I learned that the guy I've had a crush on for almost 6 months at work is significantly younger than me. So young that I could have been his babysitter growing up. He's 21, I'm 34. FML

I agree, your life sucks 364

You deserved it 199

Freak out

By Brave - 06/08/2025 15:00 - United States

Today, I tried to surprise my girlfriend by showing up at her apartment early. I climbed through her bedroom window, holding flowers. I got the wrong window. Some old man screamed, hit me with a broom, and called the cops. FML

I agree, your life sucks 106

You deserved it 853

Glow down

By Anonymous - 06/08/2025 12:00 - United States - San Diego

Today, I told my coworker she looked great and asked if she was “glowing” because she was pregnant. She isn’t pregnant. She is, however, going through a breakup and just gained 10 pounds from comfort eating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 100

You deserved it 746

Get back to work, slacker!

By ??? - 06/08/2025 03:00 - United States

Today, I was in the bathroom at work, humming to myself while scrolling through memes. I started laughing and I said out loud, “You’re so stupid” to my phone. Someone in the next stall said, “Excuse me?” and I had to fake a cough and flush just to escape. FML

I agree, your life sucks 92

You deserved it 532

I know what I'm doing

By M…… - 06/08/2025 00:00 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, I walked into a restroom at a restaurant, took one step inside, and realized it was the staff-only restroom. The manager was inside, staring at me like I was an alien. I just smiled and awkwardly walked out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 342

You deserved it 126

Are you OK?

By Louis - 05/08/2025 22:00 - United States

Today, a colleague said I looked “different” and I thought it was a compliment. It turns out they meant that I looked “tired and stressed.” I smiled awkwardly and said, “Thanks?” while internally dying. FML

I agree, your life sucks 368

You deserved it 87

Sleeping beauty

By Anonymous - 05/08/2025 15:00 - United States - Portland

Today, I was in a movie theater trying to stay awake during a boring film that my girlfriend really wanted to see. Next thing I know, I’m snoring loudly. My girlfriend sharply nudged me awake, and I realized the people in the row in front of me were giggling at me like I was a hibernating cartoon bear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 191

You deserved it 429

Outsider

By Anonymous - 04/08/2025 17:00 - United States

Today, I went to a party for my surrogate mom. She announced she wanted a family pic, so her bio kids & other “adopted” kids crowded around her. I hung back, unsure if I was wanted. My mom called my name & waved me over. I walked over with a big smile on face, thrilled to be included. She asked me to take the pic. FML

I agree, your life sucks 588

You deserved it 86

Take a seat

By Anonymous - 04/08/2025 19:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I went to sit on my bed in the pitch black and I somehow completely misjudged where I was standing in the room, so I missed the bed entirely and sat down on thin air. With nothing to stop me falling, I landed full bore on my ass and felt my coccyx snap. FML

I agree, your life sucks 450

You deserved it 150

Tinder Surprise

By betrayed - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was helping my friend create an online dating profile. When she got her search results, her #1 match was a blonde guy only 10 miles from her. His description: genuine, laid back, and ready for fun. He left off something kind of important. He's already married. To me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 111 456

You deserved it 6 562

Watch your step

By Anonymous - 03/08/2025 22:00 - United States

Today, I was at a wedding and leaned over to whisper to my friend, “Wow, this is the cheapest-looking cake I’ve ever seen.” The bride was right behind me holding the cake knife. She heard every word. Luckily, she didn't stab me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 70

You deserved it 828

TMI, dude!

By Gwen - 03/08/2025 21:00 - Russia - Kolomna

Today, at a party, we played the game where the person next to you needs to say something nice about you. My neighbour didn't know me well so he just pointed out I nicely smell like mint. That's when my drunk husband exclaimed, "My gal loves eating my ass, so that's just her mouthwash you just smelled!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 455

You deserved it 143

Happy oddly specific day to you!

By Anonymous - 03/08/2025 03:00 - United States - Buchanan

Today, it's National Girlfriends Day. My boyfriend stood me up, blamed it on his mom, and then decided he was going to go hang out with his friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 322

You deserved it 202

Teamwork

By Bad impression - 02/08/2025 20:00 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, I joined a group chat with new coworkers. Trying to be funny, I wrote, “What is this bunch of weirdos up to?” My big boss, who I hadn't noticed was in the chat members, responded, “This is your direct supervisor speaking.” I left the chat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 92

You deserved it 534

Classic mistake

By 暂不提供 - 02/08/2025 21:00 - Singapore - Singapore

Today, I realized I'd lost my wallet when paying for groceries. I had to put all the items back and leave the store feeling so embarrassed in front of everyone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 448

You deserved it 105

Baby mama

By Jezza - 02/08/2025 09:00 - United Kingdom - Portsmouth

Today, I told a coworker I loved her cute baby bump, and asked when 'the little guy' was due. She glared at me and said, “I had the baby two months ago. You saw him a month ago, here, in this office.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 63

You deserved it 914

So, when a man loves a woman…

By Gwen - 01/08/2025 21:00 - Russia - Kolomna

Today, I'm really puzzled about explaining what he saw to our 6-year old. So, he walked in on us mid-sex, which itself would be barely acceptable if there were only the two of us, his married parents, but actually a dead drunk threesome between my husband, his best male friend, and me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 96

You deserved it 610

No comment

By Framed guy - 01/08/2025 15:00 - United States

Today, I said to a coworker, “Epstein didn’t kill himself” in our office, as a joke response to something he'd said. Later, someone from HR pulled me aside and said, “We don’t comment on ongoing investigations.” I work at a dog food company. FML

I agree, your life sucks 456

You deserved it 134

Another speech bites the dust

By Worst man - 01/08/2025 00:00 - United States

Today, I gave a speech at my friend’s wedding. I spent weeks perfecting it, making sure it was funny but heartfelt. When I finished, I dropped the mic dramatically. It bounced off the table, hit the best man in the face, and the cable knocked his drink all over the bride’s dress. FML

I agree, your life sucks 132

You deserved it 727

Just out of curiosity, where is this place exactly?

By Anonymous - 31/07/2025 11:00 - United States

Today, I wanted to take my wife and kids to visit some of my favorite hiking trails while visiting my hometown. It would’ve been great, had it not been for the fact that several horny perverts think fucking outside is a great idea. We stumbled upon at least three couples out in the open before giving up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 358

You deserved it 119

Yeetus

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I went to the doctor's office for a minor cold, and left with a diagnosis of pregnancy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 856

You deserved it 15 623

Risky move

By Anonymous - 31/07/2025 09:00 - United States

Today, I tried to impress a cute cop at a coffee shop by holding the door for her and saying, “You’re under arrest… for stealing my heart.” She deadpan replied, “That’s harassment, sir.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 140

You deserved it 848

Love you Mom

By Anonymous - 31/07/2025 00:00 - United States

Today, I tried to log into my bank account online but forgot my password. When I hit “Forgot password?” the security question asked, “What’s your mother’s maiden name?” I put it in and it said, “Incorrect.” It turns out that I've been misspelling it wrong for years and never noticed, despite my mom dying last year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 157

You deserved it 374

Socialite

By Shelley05 - 29/07/2025 12:00 - United States - Santa Fe

Today, I showed up to my friend’s birthday party with a huge cake... on what turned out to be the wrong day. The actual party is tomorrow. Her family laughed and thought if was cute, but I just wanted the floor to open up and let me disappear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 369

You deserved it 149

Nostalgia for a time that never existed

By Anonymous - 26/07/2025 20:00 - United States

Today, I woke up on my day off as a family man. Yesterday I played an AI game where I went back to my college days in the 2000s. I recreated those days as they were, and it brought back many memories. The problem? The game let me create the perfect girlfriend. I regret dating my now ex-wife back then more than ever. FML

I agree, your life sucks 90

You deserved it 505

Many such cases

By Anonymous - 27/07/2025 00:00 - United States

Today, I received an office-wide email about our new boss. I meant to forward it to my friend with, “He looks like he eats mayonnaise straight from the jar.” However, I hit "Reply All" instead. Including said new boss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61

You deserved it 820

A blind date in 2025 is brave

By Anonymous - 26/07/2025 22:00 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I went on a blind date at a coffee shop. I walked up to who I thought was him, smiled, and said, “Hey! You look even cuter in person!” He looked horrified. It wasn’t my date. My actual date witnessed the whole thing and ghosted me mid-latte. FML

I agree, your life sucks 336

You deserved it 277

Pervs!

By Ew you freaks - 26/07/2025 13:00 - United States

Today, I was taking my daughter to the hotel pool, and she was excited so she ran ahead to the door to the stairs, I heard her scream so I went running. When I opened the door, a man was getting a blowjob from another man, RIGHT IN FRONT OF MY DAUGHTER! FML

I agree, your life sucks 510

You deserved it 96

Clinging on

By Jeremy - 26/07/2025 00:00 - Australia - Adelaide

Today, I did laundry after weeks of procrastinating. Feeling accomplished, I wore a freshly cleaned hoodie to work. Halfway through the day, I discovered my niece’s Paw Patrol underwear clinging to the inside of my hood. I’d been walking around with Chase the Police Dog flapping behind my head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 333

You deserved it 206

How does this keep happening?

By Anonymous - 25/07/2025 09:00 - United States

Today, while on a video call, I went on a long rant about how I hate mandatory morning meetings and how pointless they are. I thought I was muted. I wasn’t. My boss replied with, “Noted. You can take the rest of the day off. Indefinitely.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 102

You deserved it 796

FML on Facebook

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I fell asleep during my division emergency meeting. As I about to head home that evening, my boss patted me on the back saying, "Wrong move. Good luck". Turned out, it was a meeting to determine who will be kicked out of the company due to recession. My name was written first on the list. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 928

You deserved it 54 621

Today, I am 9 months pregnant. I had a dream where I successfully pushed and gave birth to my son. Meanwhile, in the real world, I successfully pushed and gave birth to a large dump. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 276

You deserved it 7 100

Today, at a romantic dinner my boyfriend was treating me to, the waiter brought a "Will you marry me?" cake out, with candles and sparklers. I probably should have checked that they'd brought it to the right table before dramatically screaming ,"Yes!" and jumping into my boyfriend's arms. They hadn't. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 145

You deserved it 7 479

Today, I tried to make a good first impression by bringing homemade cookies to my new neighbors. I dropped the entire plate of cookies on their porch, and the dog across the street immediately rushed over and ate them. My new neighbors were very polite about it, but I’m pretty sure they think I'm a psycho. FML

I agree, your life sucks 383

You deserved it 127

Today, my mom learned how to use the text messaging on her smartphone. I've received 37 already, and she calls after every single one to make sure I understood her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 237

You deserved it 3 277

Today, I went with my girlfriend to the gym for the first time. I knew I was in bad shape, but I bet her that I could lift more than her. Not only did I get my ass handed to me by a 5', 115lbs girl in front of the entire gym, I also have to attend Zumba in bright pink spandex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 367

You deserved it 43 301