Argument

Tetchy

By Brokendishes - 21/08/2022 18:00

Today, my husband broke a set of dishes, told me I had to clean it all up, and stormed out of the house. It’s now 3:30am and he still hasn’t come home. Our 5 year-old son keeps asking about him. What warranted all this? Asking him how his day went. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 207

You deserved it 146

Caveman fetish

By Anonymous - 18/08/2022 21:58

Today, my boyfriend lost his temper at me for the first time ever after 2 years of dating, and actually raised his voice. It turned me on, and I don’t just mean on, I mean OOONNNNNN. I was so wet it ran down my thighs and made an obvious damp spot in my jeans. FML

I agree, your life sucks 553

You deserved it 1 153

She started it!

By Becca - 15/08/2022 12:00 - United Kingdom - Hemel Hempstead

Today, my sister told me that if I was a gentleman, I'd lend her money. I hate my sister so I told her if she was a lady, she wouldn't have sucked off the local drug dealer for weed. I'm now nursing my jaw where she punched me, and mom overheard what I'd said so we're currently in the middle of a family shouting match. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 231

You deserved it 403

Text arguments are the worst

By Anonymous - 14/08/2022 04:00 - Singapore - Singapore

Today, I was upset with my girlfriend, but I didn't want to start an argument with her, so I didn't reply to her message immediately. She asked me what happened. I hesitated but explained nonetheless. She remained silent for almost an hour before replying she's busy at work, so she can't reply. Then why did she even bother to ask? FML

I agree, your life sucks 738

You deserved it 251

You might as well know…

By Anonymous - 02/08/2022 06:00

Today, I was sending screenshots to my best friend about a guy who'd screwed me over. I sent the screenshots to him instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 251

You deserved it 954

How could you?

By Anon - 25/07/2022 06:00

Today, after screaming at me this morning, my wife has been giving me the silent treatment. We're trying to get pregnant, but she caught me masturbating, or "reducing my sperm count on purpose" as she called it. I just wanted some harmless fun with some porn, since getting pregnant has made actual sex a chore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 458

You deserved it 593

Emergencies can't be choosers

By Anonymous - 20/07/2022 12:00 - United States

Today, my mom argued with me that I should have went to an emergency room a further 18 minutes away from me, during a near fatal allergic reaction, so I would've received "better care." FML

I agree, your life sucks 893

You deserved it 88

Best vacation ever

By anon - 16/07/2022 18:00

Today, I've been on vacation with my friend and his family for a week. Apparently, his idea of a vacation includes constant screaming arguments with his wife, while their kids sob in the living room. I tried to take the kids out once and got a lecture on boundaries, which started another huge fight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 224

You deserved it 123

Modesty

By Prudemama - 09/07/2022 10:00

Today, I found out that my 11 year-old daughter dresses skimpy when I drop her off on the weekends at my ex-husband’s house, courtesy of his girlfriend, who he cheated on me with. When I confronted her, she told me to “stop being such a prude” and with my attitude, “no wonder you get cheated on.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 945

You deserved it 190

Unhappy birthday

By gaah! - 09/07/2022 00:00

Today, it's my birthday. My spouse got into a fight, ending a relationship with a friend. They're laying around, unable to move due to panic attacks. I'm exhausted from being dragged unwillingly into things. The birthday messages feel like a joke. FML

I agree, your life sucks 791

You deserved it 154

Stand up for yourself

By eff that asshole! - 26/06/2022 00:01

Today, I overheard my mom’s boyfriend viciously berating and verbally abusing her. I got in his face and started yelling that he can’t talk to her that way. He stormed out and we haven’t heard from him since. Now my mom is pissed and wants to kick me out for “ruining” her relationship. Sorry I guess. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 655

You deserved it 130

Go ahead

By Anonymous - 22/06/2022 04:00

Today, I spent four hours listening to my mom berating me about how I needed to throw all my stuff out as she helped move me. Over 2/3 is hers. About 1/4 is my dad’s. FML

I agree, your life sucks 639

You deserved it 873

The blame game

By Anonymous - 21/06/2022 06:00

Today, I got home from work to the news my daughter and stepson are dating, and having sex, which is weird but not illegal, since they’re not related. My wife however is blaming me, because I apparently didn’t let her discipline them harshly enough when they were teenagers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 602

You deserved it 318

Drowning

By Anonymous - 08/06/2022 00:01 - United States

Today, my son finally revealed the reason he was always blasting music as a teenager was to drown out the sound of his father and I arguing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 195

You deserved it 1 633

Hypocrisy

By Anonymous - 07/06/2022 00:01 - United States

Today, my sister's boyfriend dumped her after a huge fight they had, regarding him getting a haircut without talking to her first. I asked if she also needed to consult with him first before getting a haircut. Without a hint of self-awareness, she said, "Of course not. That's stupid. Why would I need his permission?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 445

You deserved it 178

What happens in Vegas…

By Anonymous - 06/06/2022 14:00

Today, I got a hotel room for myself and 4 friends to have a great night out in town. The couple of the group had a huge argument, ruining the evening, then another friend took of in the middle of the night, and to top it off we all ended up catching Covid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 817

You deserved it 342

Hot revenge

By Anonymous - 30/05/2022 00:01

Today, halfway through a blowjob, my girlfriend bit my penis because she suddenly decided that she was still annoyed at me for an argument we had last week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 407

You deserved it 346

The happiest place on Earth

By Anonymous - 27/05/2022 00:01

Today, we were supposed to go to Disneyland but we got in a blazing argument. Then this morning I woke up to my alarm clock disabled, he was gone, my ticket was in the kitchen shredded, and when I rang him the bastard was in the first class lounge, waiting to get on the plane without me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 110

You deserved it 278

BEHAVE!

By Reeve of the Shires - 23/04/2022 22:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my son and I were arguing, and my wife yelled at us that the reason we don't get along is because we have identical personalities. She then kicked us out until we learn to get along, so we're sleeping in the freezing caravan, sharing a blanket that's only 6 feet wide and was last used for the cat to give birth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 347

You deserved it 1 293

Go on, why?

By Anonymous - 09/04/2022 04:00

Today, my husband ended an argument with, "Do you want to know why people don't like being around you?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 759

You deserved it 441

Pushover

By WhyEven - 07/03/2022 04:00 - United States - Kula

Today, I was seriously angry with my husband and was making valid arguments as to why he was wrong. He just started kissing me, and we ended up having sex. He knows how to win every argument, and I fall for it everytime. FML

I agree, your life sucks 414

You deserved it 2 257

Slightly homophobic, but OK…

By Anonymous - 27/02/2022 04:00

Today, I was pulled into an argument between a woman and her boyfriend. He wanted to buy a jacket and she wanted my opinion, as a gay man, on whether it suited him. I’m not gay, I'm even married to a woman. They were very surprised because apparently I look "super gay." Other shoppers agreed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 027

You deserved it 188

Modern warfare

By Anonymous - 19/02/2022 01:59

Today, I get the feeling my wife is mad at me. I have no evidence to support this, except she ran me a bath with a bath bomb and a shit load of chilli powder, so like I say, no hard evidence except the excruciating burning in my asshole, peehole, ballsack, nostril and eyes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 269

You deserved it 209

Domestic

By I’d rather be homeless - 24/01/2022 17:01

Today, I got into a heated argument with my mother, during which she told me she wished she’d thrown herself down the stairs the minute she discovered she was pregnant. I told her, “There's the stairs, help yourself!” She called the police and told them I threatened to push her down the stairs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 412

You deserved it 187

Fathers and sons

By Anonymous - 19/01/2022 11:01

Today, my husband and son haven’t spoken to each other in over a year. I’ve tried everything from bargaining, crying, and even screaming at them both, but they seem determined to hate each other. At this rate, our son will move out and we’ll never see him or our future grand babies. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 003

You deserved it 377

Emotional support

By Anonymous - 10/01/2022 17:01

Today, I went to the emergency room with my boyfriend, only to sit there for 3 hours waiting for him to be seen, then having an argument with him about how impatient I am because they never called his name. FML

I agree, your life sucks 504

You deserved it 945

Therapeutic

By Anonymous - 07/01/2022 23:01

Today, my girlfriend and I agreed to weekly talks about anything that is bothering us, since we’ve been arguing a lot lately. So far, every talk has been her moaning at me about how I annoy her, yet when I try to have my say, she interrupts or yells at me for blaming her for our problems. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 178

You deserved it 190

Assumptions

By Anonymous - 24/12/2021 17:01

Today, I asked my husband to talk and he got the most tired and “Here we go again” look and then asked what he’d done wrong this time. Apparently, I get mad at him so often that now every time we talk, he immediately assumes he did something wrong. I think I’m a horrible wife. FML

I agree, your life sucks 449

You deserved it 1 884

Anger management

By Anonymous - 22/12/2021 05:01

Today, my husband started screaming at me about how I’d lost the mop, so he couldn’t mop the kitchen, and how the mess in the house is my fault since I got fired before Covid and "sit all day doing nothing" when I could be cleaning. Because job hunting during Covid is totally doing nothing all day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 717

You deserved it 1 157

So annoying

By Anonymous - 11/12/2021 11:01

Today, my girlfriend and I were arguing. I told her that "same" and "similar" were two different words that meant two different things. She said, "I don't know about that, let me research it." This is the level of, "I always need to be right" that I deal with every day. I need to end things, for both of our sakes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 921

You deserved it 320

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The Top

Today, my mom tried giving me the sex talk. Her version of "the talk" consisted of making me watch videos of guys jacking off and reassuring me that "it's natural." FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 730

You deserved it 5 212

Today, I swallowed and nearly choked to death on the ring my boyfriend hid in my wine glass. It's still in me somewhere, and my doctor basically told me that I'll have to "keep an eye on things" if I want to find it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 734

You deserved it 5 969

Today, in geometry class, we were working in dead silence. Apparently my phone wasn't on vibrate, and I received 25 texts all at once, while it blasted "Hakuna Matataaaa" out of my back pocket. They weren't even texts from friends, just Facebook notifications. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 192

You deserved it 36 032

Today, I found an obituary clipping on my kitchen table. It was for my grandpa. No one told me he died. FML

I agree, your life sucks 116 183

You deserved it 5 099

Today, I hooked up with a guy I know from the gym. This dude is built like The Hulk, over 6 feet tall and almost 24 stone. We were really getting into it when he slipped and his whole weight went onto my knee, which bent completely the wrong way and dislocated everything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 672

You deserved it 153

Today, I bought an expensive air purifier to combat potential wildfire smoke. The next day, a freak flood knocked out my power. I sat in the dark, breathing in ash. FML

I agree, your life sucks 524

You deserved it 82