Billy · 10 May 2025, 20:00 ·United States

Remember to update your stuff

Today, I tried to log in to my bank account but couldn’t remember the password. I clicked "Forgot Password?" and it asked me for the security question: “What is your pet’s name?” I've had several pets since I created the account, and forgot where I had updated it. Now I’m locked out of my bank account, with no idea who I am anymore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 145 You deserved it 422

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beat10 · This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff ·United States

Wrongful

Today, I was fired for "customer dissatisfaction." I work in IT and have never met one of my company's customers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 052 You deserved it 4 237

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Anonymous · 10 May 2025, 15:00 ·Seattle, United States

Let's pretend this never happened

Today, I ran into an old friend in a grocery store. We both went in for a hug, but at the exact same moment we both leaned in for a cheek kiss. We ended up awkwardly smashing faces together and then slowly pulling away, silently pretending that whatever that was didn’t just happen. We haven’t spoken since. FML

I agree, your life sucks 349 You deserved it 130

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Anonymous · 10 May 2025, 12:00 ·Ireland

Impressed indeed

Today, I joined a dance class to impress my girlfriend. Halfway through, I realized I had two left feet. The instructor asked me to demonstrate a simple move, and instead I tripped on the mat, fell into another dancer, and took her down with me. I’ve been banned from all future classes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 395 You deserved it 129

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Matt · 10 May 2025, 09:00 ·San Diego, United States

Confused

Today, I met my girlfriend's friends for the first time. One of them walked up to me and gushed, "Oh my god, Joshua! It's so nice to finally meet you!" Then she made a remark about how she heard I played hockey. Hi, my name is Matt, and my sport is wrestling. FML

I agree, your life sucks 515 You deserved it 96

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lumacsp · This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff ·United States

Fight! Fight!

Today, I stopped at a light when someone crashed into my motorcycle, making me fall. The guy claimed it was my fault because I'd stopped too fast. I got really mad, so I attempted to spit on his face and was ready to start a fight when I noticed that I'd forgotten to lift the helmet visor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 389 You deserved it 53 134

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Anonymous · 10 May 2025, 00:00 ·India

It's over

Today, I took part in India’s giant emergency drill. I hid in a recycling bin for two hours straight. No one ever came to find me. It turns out the drill was only 20 minutes long. FML

I agree, your life sucks 202 You deserved it 429

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Heather · 9 May 2025, 22:00 ·Australia

Tasty treat

Today, my mom tried a new recipe for dinner. She proudly served what she called "gourmet vegetable stew." One bite later, I had to fight every urge to not gag. She asked me how it tasted, and with a straight face, I said, "Delicious!" She then asked for my honest opinion, so I told her it was, um, "an acquired taste." She hasn’t spoken to me since. FML

I agree, your life sucks 438 You deserved it 81

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Monika · This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff ·United States

Double trouble

Today, my identical twin sister got in trouble for sneaking out of the house to see her boyfriend. My father decided to ground both of us, because it would be "too confusing" for him otherwise. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 089 You deserved it 5 169

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Anonymous · 9 May 2025, 15:00 ·Burlington, United States

Felt cute, might delete later

Today, I put on a new outfit, took a bunch of selfies, and posted the best one to Instagram. Ten minutes later, my grandma commented, “You look tired. Are you eating enough?” FML

I agree, your life sucks 321 You deserved it 202

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i hate it · 9 May 2025, 12:00 ·Fresno, United States

Button fever

Today, I had a conference call with a client. I was feeling confident and had been preparing all morning. Right in the middle of my presentation, I hit the wrong button, and my webcam feed turned into a close-up of my face, which had a giant zit right in the middle of my forehead. The client didn’t say anything, but I could see their eyes glued to it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 337 You deserved it 208

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Anonymous · 9 May 2025, 09:00 ·United States

Ungrateful

Today, I bought my dog a fancy bed shaped like a giant donut. He sniffed it, then crawled into the box it came in and fell asleep. He’s been snoring there for four hours now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 189 You deserved it 316

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Anonymous · This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff ·San Francisco, United States

Gravel?

Today, I met my girlfriend's dad at a tennis game. I could tell he despised me from the start, but it only got worse when I played him. He smashed the ball at me and I went to hit it, but I missed and fell over, tearing my arm up on the gravel. He had a smirk on his face for the rest of the day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 834 You deserved it 4 324

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Anonymous · 9 May 2025, 03:00 ·Bath, United Kingdom

Good question, wrong place

Today, I took my ten year-old sister out for a walk. We passed a hen party in town, and she asked out loud in the street, "Why are men’s stag parties not called cock parties?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 402 You deserved it 120

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Anonymous · 9 May 2025, 00:00 ·Australia

Everything computer!

Today, my computer decided to upgrade to Windows 11, moments before I presented to dozens of people. I had to go solely by memory with no notes, graphs, or illustrations. FML

I agree, your life sucks 507 You deserved it 123

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Anonymous · 8 May 2025, 22:00 ·United States

Gotcha good

Today, tired of my roommate’s constant stealing of my food, I decided to get back at him by hiding a small amount of hot sauce in his sandwich, thinking it would be a funny prank. When he took a huge bite, he immediately started choking and running to the bathroom. I later found out he's allergic to spicy food. FML

I agree, your life sucks 514 You deserved it 181

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Klinger · 8 May 2025, 20:00 ·United States

Someone check in on this guy

Today, I was in a public restroom and slipped on some soap on the floor while I was washing my hands. As I fell, I grabbed the nearest thing to break my fall, which happened to be the hand dryer. It fell off the wall and hit me in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 466 You deserved it 89

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Anonymous · This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff ·United States

Roomies

Today, I got a new roommate after having a horrible relationship with the previous one. She seemed nice at first, until our first night together. She got completely wasted, spilled beer all over my bed, and blew chunks into my fish tank. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 032 You deserved it 3 058

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My cat is a klutz · 8 May 2025, 15:00 ·United States

Better out than in

Today, my cat tried to look outside the window in my room by climbing on top of the air conditioner. It's already rather flimsy, as she had broken the accordions with her clumsiness last year. But this time, she somehow managed to make the AC fall out of the window, and she followed along with it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 374 You deserved it 157

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Anonymous · 8 May 2025, 12:00 ·Changsha, China

A tad jealous

Today, after my ex dumped me on November 18, 2024, after 11 years of friendship and just 6 months dating, spreading rumors and ruining my reputation, we’re now in the same class again. The worst part? She’s already chasing another motherfucker who looks like her old crush, right in front of me. Disgusting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 401 You deserved it 233

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Anonymous · 8 May 2025, 09:00

Revealing

Today, I am fuming. We went to the beach in the sunny weather and my husband finally got round to posting the pictures on Facebook. In one of them I’m sunbathing and one of my fanny lips was hanging completely out the edge of my bikini. FML

I agree, your life sucks 421 You deserved it 220

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Anonymous · This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff ·United States

Fly my beauties

Today, my first graders released the butterflies we've been raising. The kids were sad that one had died in his cocoon and wouldn't be set free. Turns out that butterfly may have had a better fate: a flock of birds ate half of the others. Immediately after releasing them. In front of the kids. FML

I agree, your life sucks 73 165 You deserved it 5 520

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ahjhdsbhjjhcs · 8 May 2025, 03:00 ·United States

Charlie Chaplin is not dead

Today, I was watching a movie on my chair. I leaned back on the back of the chair and kept leaning back. Then I slowly fell down with my chair, onto the floor. It made a big noise, but nobody was hurt, it was just really absurd, like I'd watched another episode of Mr. Bean. FML

I agree, your life sucks 101 You deserved it 355

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Anonymous · 8 May 2025, 00:00 ·United States

How could you?

Today, my mom called me a bastard because I asked for the Target gift card my dad had given to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 444 You deserved it 85

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Z…… · 7 May 2025, 22:00 ·China

Nervous

Today, I went to the hospital for constant dizziness and insomnia, and was diagnosed with anxiety. I figured out that the main source of my anxiety is not my job but my boyfriend, who has avoidant personality, which makes him constantly refuse almost everything that I request. He's a guy who just doesn't know how to show his love. FML

I agree, your life sucks 343 You deserved it 230

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rmo1776 · This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff ·United States

Where am I?

Today, I went to a very nice reception at a hotel. I glanced inside the ballroom and saw that no one else was in there and, not wanting to be the first one there, I walked past and into the stairway. Turns out, I had walked into the emergency exit stairs and had to set off the alarm to get out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 140 You deserved it 49 437

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Anonymous · 7 May 2025, 15:00 ·Washington, United States

Let 'em loose

Today, I sat next to my crush in class in a very loose, low-hanging shirt in the front (my mother had made me wear it, I didn't want to), and I felt so giddy because he kept staring at me in shock. No, not because I'm so beautiful, but because my boobs were hanging out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 197 You deserved it 423

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Anonymous · 7 May 2025, 12:00 ·Shanghai, China

Popularity contest

Today, I broke ties with a friend of mine. She said I was her only friend and asked me not to interact with others normally. I'd had enough, and asked her not to bother me again. Then I found out that everyone liked her better and left me alone for lunch, even though she's a gaslighter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 446 You deserved it 110

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Anonymous · 7 May 2025, 09:00 ·Kailua, United States

Not so tech savvy

Today, in Home Ec, I struggled to open the microwave for almost 10 minutes in front of the whole class. FML

I agree, your life sucks 169 You deserved it 370

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Anonymous · This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff ·United States

La la land

Today, I confided to my dad that since the recent breakup with my boyfriend of 3 months, I feel down all the time and life doesn't feel worth living anymore. His loving advice was for me to "grow the fuck up and get your sentimental head out of la-la land." FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 306 You deserved it 72 560

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