nicedoggy · This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff ·Nixa, United States

Good boy

Today, I came home from college to find my favorite silk nightie that I'd left behind being modeled by Bernie, the family dog. Nobody will admit to who put it on him. I don't know what's worse, that my family is a bunch of assholes, or that my nightie is big enough to fit a Saint Bernard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 632 You deserved it 4 105

88 comments Share

Sheila · 26 April 2025, 15:00 ·United States

All dolled up

Today, I ordered a designer jacket online. When it arrived, it was doll-sized. It turns out that I bought a limited edition meant for action figures. FML

I agree, your life sucks 117 You deserved it 497

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Anonymous · 26 April 2025, 12:00 ·United States

Great expectations

Today. my four year-old grand-daughter asked her mother why she married her father, since he wasn't a Prince. I think we need to dial back the Disney movies. FML

I agree, your life sucks 322 You deserved it 136

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Rich · 26 April 2025, 09:00 ·United Kingdom

New friend

Today. after I moved to a new area, I bumped into an old guy on crutches who asked me where the doctor's was. I wasn't sure, so Google Mapped it. I read the map wrong and sent him in the opposite direction. I've seen him twice since and I reckon if he could catch me, he'd kill me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 271 You deserved it 184

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Falling off the wagon · This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff ·Brighton, United Kingdom

Milestone

Today, my uncle gave me a very expensive bottle of champagne at a celebratory family event. We were celebrating me spending one year sober. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 898 You deserved it 3 650

64 comments Share

Anonymous · 26 April 2025, 03:00 ·India

Not really my problem

Today, I got a text from a cousin thanking me for always being nice to her. Bear in mind that this “cousin” basically bullied me as a child, all while I looked up to her. She’s gone through a very rough time recently, so I thought she'd sent me someone else’s text by mistake and I told her so. She replied, “No.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 169 You deserved it 279

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Anonymous · 26 April 2025, 00:00 ·United States

This is not a drill

Today, my office building had a surprise fire drill. As I rushed to exit, I realized that I’d put on a shirt that was way too tight. It felt like it was practically cutting off my circulation, and I couldn’t breathe too well. I tried to suck in my stomach but almost passed out in the process. I spent the rest of the drill struggling with my shirt while people gave me weird looks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 84 You deserved it 481

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Anonymous · 25 April 2025, 22:00 ·New Orleans, United States

Weird vibes

Today, I went to a party at a friend's place. I walked in and noticed everyone sitting quietly in a circle. I sat down, waited for the conversation to pick up, which is when I realized it was a "silent party", as in everyone had headphones on and was listening to music. I awkwardly left after 10 minutes of pretending I was having a great time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 387 You deserved it 121

1 comment Share

Tracey · 25 April 2025, 20:00 ·Austin, United States

Bad timing

Today, I was home alone, wearing my comfiest pajamas and watching Netflix, when I heard a knock at the door. I opened it to find my parents standing there. They had just driven four hours to surprise me. My hair was a mess, my face was bare, and I looked like a living disaster. "We just wanted to see how you’re doing!" they said. FML

I agree, your life sucks 393 You deserved it 145

3 comments Share

PackingSpaceHeat · This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff ·United States

Am I being detained?

Today, I realized I've been acting very paranoid lately. I was mugged a few weeks ago, so I've been nervous. I've been holding my hands in my pockets and looking around on my way outside from work. Apparently, that's grounds to arrest someone under suspicion of carrying a concealed weapon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 751 You deserved it 3 394

76 comments Share

Only sad · 25 April 2025, 15:00 ·United States

Brave

Today, I finally gathered the courage to confess my feelings to my best friend. As I was about to tell him, he interrupted me and said, “Oh hey, by the way, I met a guy and we’re going on our first date tonight.” I awkwardly said, “Congrats,” and then I went home to eat an entire pint of ice cream by myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 420 You deserved it 165

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Anonymous · 25 April 2025, 12:00 ·United States

Visual effect

Today, my boyfriend suggested I try on some old clothes, after weeks of eating better and exercising. The good news: they fit again, and are even a little bit loose. The bad news: somehow, I look fatter now than I did before I started trying to lose weight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 381 You deserved it 88

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Danny · 25 April 2025, 09:00 ·United States

I hate this

Today, my dad is fighting for his life after a pancreatic cancer diagnosis and a life threatening surgery. I work full time and I visit him when I can, knowing we’re on borrowed time. I come home emotional exhausted and drained, only to be met with a nagging wife that says I’m not prioritizing her or the kids. FML

I agree, your life sucks 617 You deserved it 88

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jezebel · This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff ·United States

Happy Birthday, Sweaty

Today, I got a call from the office telling me I was fired. When I asked why, my boss explained my mother called and told him I was in a "weak mental state." She thought she was helping me get off for my birthday. Now I have no job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 263 You deserved it 3 535

57 comments Share

Anonymous · 25 April 2025, 03:00 ·Buchholz in der Nordheide, Germany

False advertising

Today, after I bought what were labeled as “8 Pink Tulips” and planting the bulbs, they turned out to be 6 whites and 2 reds. Well, I guess if you’re talking mathematical average, that counts as pink. FML

I agree, your life sucks 345 You deserved it 84

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TooReal · 25 April 2025, 00:00 ·Perth, Australia

Sorry for your loss

Today, my mother messaged me via Facebook me to say that my father had died. They knew since the start of the year but didn't bother to tell me. I live 10 minutes from the hospital he was in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 521 You deserved it 102

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lukey101 · 24 April 2025, 22:00 ·Australia

Kick it

Today, my worst fear was realised while walking past an under 15’s football game. The ball landed right by me and I attempted to kick it back, except it went flying diagonally & ended up even further away. I’m a 36 year-old man and got roasted by a bunch of 15 year-old boys. FML

I agree, your life sucks 238 You deserved it 322

1 comment Share

Bunsostriker · This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff ·Dearborn, United States

Dude, where's my car?

Today, I found out where my stolen car was. It was all the way in Maine. I live in Ohio and I got a $300 fine for illegal parking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 002 You deserved it 2 177

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Anonymous · 24 April 2025, 15:00 ·United Kingdom

Get me out of here

Today, because my insane mother doesn’t want me getting a job to afford to move out and never see her again, she put my suit in the freezer last night so I couldn’t go to my 9 a.m. interview. I went in a t-shirt instead and they rejected me straight away for not "taking the interview seriously." FML

I agree, your life sucks 601 You deserved it 80

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Anonymous · 24 April 2025, 12:00 ·Tarpon Springs, United States

Wardrobe malfunction

Today, I tripped and fell, and didn’t realize my tank top strap broke. I walked around with my boob out for a solid 3 minutes in PUBLIC until my friend ran up behind me and yanked my tank top back up. He found it funny, and apparently everyone else got a great view. Talk about embarrassing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 255 You deserved it 382

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NOT a daddy’s girl · 24 April 2025, 09:00 ·Riverside, United States

Disappointing

Today, after I tried to be the bigger person and invite my dad to my college graduation/dinner, and he asked when so I gave him the address and times, surprise surprise, he didn’t show up. He didn’t even have the decency to send a damn text. Yet when I’m angry about his crap, I get told I have daddy issues. FML

I agree, your life sucks 487 You deserved it 89

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howprofessional · This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff ·Dearborn, United States

Trick question

Today, at a job interview, I was asked what I thought of twerking. It was a bizarre question, but trying to get on the interviewer's good side, I said I thought it was pretty cool. He snorted and said I'll be job-seeking for a while yet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 093 You deserved it 47 509

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No Prayer for Fools · 24 April 2025, 03:00 ·Paranaque City, Philippines

True believer

Today, my mom nagged us to biblical levels to prepare and repent for "The Big One", which is a magnitude 10 earthquake that will happen anytime today until June 10, 3:16am. She claims it was predicted by a Holy Force sent by God himself. Who? Some idiot TicToker who asks Alexa future predictions, mainly disasters. FML

I agree, your life sucks 394 You deserved it 73

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Annageewhiz34 · 24 April 2025, 00:00 ·United States

Anger management classes going well?

Today, I saw the guy I met on Tinder and went out with, only to be told “I’m not ready for a relationship, let’s just be friends” out on a date kissing another girl. I interrupted the date to rip him a new one for lying to me, only to be escorted out by the restaurant manager. FML

I agree, your life sucks 99 You deserved it 1 100

6 comments Share

Anonymous · 23 April 2025, 22:00 ·Bristol, United Kingdom

Vacation by proxy

Today, I realised that the only thing I am looking forward to this summer is watching Love Island from the comfort and darkness of my shitty couch, because I can't afford to do anything as exotic as going somewhere sunny. FML

I agree, your life sucks 322 You deserved it 137

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mildlyconcussed · This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff ·Somma Vesuviana, Italy

Great gig

Today, I went to a gig. The drummer threw his drumsticks out at the end and I managed to catch one. With my face. Not only did I get a black eye, but the person next to me snatched the drumstick from my hands. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 042 You deserved it 1 971

43 comments Share

Anonymous · 23 April 2025, 15:00 ·Cazin, Bosnia and Herzegovina

Cycles of life

Today, my daughter got her first period. I'm the one shaking and hyperventilating. I'm more nervous for her than I was for myself back when I got my first period. I just now understand my mom while she was pacing through house back and forward when I got my first. FML

I agree, your life sucks 167 You deserved it 394

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Conflicted · 23 April 2025, 12:00 ·United States

Bonus dilemma

Today, my girlfriend told me she got a hefty bonus at work and will pay off my credit card debt. I was gonna break up with her because I’d been working on resolving things with my ex-girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 69 You deserved it 1 015

6 comments Share

Tea gurl · 23 April 2025, 09:00 ·United States

That's kind of abusive

Today, my boyfriend “accidentally” spilled a cup of hot tea on my lap at the dinner table. I had to get treated for second degree burns, because the skin on my lap was heavily saturated with the stuff. Apparently, he’s still mad at me for buying a male coworker a present for his birthday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 668 You deserved it 104

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lauziej93 · This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff ·Logroño, Spain

Oh no, oh no no no

Today, my mother-in-law became my boss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 253 You deserved it 2 040

37 comments Share