Anonymous · This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff ·United States

Bad start

Today, I was running the track at my school. My crush of two years was running in front of me, so I decided to catch up and finally talk to her. When I caught up, the only thing I could think to say was, "What's your name?" even though I already knew. She replied, "Natalie". Her name is Melissa. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 577 You deserved it 7 622

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Anonymous · 14 July 2025, 03:00 ·Amarillo, United States

Wardrobe malfunction

Today, I realized after I had already left my house that my skirt was inside out and backwards. I’d been walking around like that for two hours before a stranger in a supermarket politely told me. The worst part? I still had to finish my grocery shopping. FML

I agree, your life sucks 325 You deserved it 180

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Anonymous · 14 July 2025, 00:00 ·Swindon, United Kingdom

Infrastructure

Today, I was using a public toilet stall when the lock gave way, and the door swung open halfway. I froze, and the person who was washing his hands at the sinks looked at me in the mirror and awkwardly said, “I see you.” I muttered, “I’m sorry,” as he walked out looking like he'd seen a ghost. FML

I agree, your life sucks 373 You deserved it 105

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Anonymous · 13 July 2025, 22:00 ·United Kingdom

Wildlife

Today, I arrived at a campsite, got everything set up, and went for a shower. However, when I got back, a drunken rhino of a woman had crawled into my tent, been sick, then passed out on my freshly-washed bedding. She was so fat I couldn’t even roll her. I had to sleep in my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 581 You deserved it 87

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Anonymous · 13 July 2025, 20:00 ·Warren, United States

Hot hot hot

Today, I visited my mom because I don't see her much due to her living 30 minutes away from me. They just recently fixed their AC. A few hours before I was about to leave, it broke again. I tried to be patient but it heated up to over 80 degrees inside, and I'm really sensitive to heat. Thankfully they weren't offended. FML

I agree, your life sucks 297 You deserved it 195

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somefamily · This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff ·Wayne, United States

Steve? Pete?

Today, I found out that I've been calling my boyfriend's dad by the wrong name for the past two years. No one had told me sooner because they liked laughing at me for it when I wasn't around. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 447 You deserved it 4 511

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BarneyRubble · 13 July 2025, 15:00 ·Ireland

Not so slinky

Today, I managed to lock myself out of my house again. My only option was crawling through the dog door. I managed it once before, but I must've put on weight because this time I got stuck halfway. My neighbour came over to “see if everything was OK.” He then helped push me through. FML

I agree, your life sucks 216 You deserved it 408

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No second date · 13 July 2025, 12:00 ·United States

Check, please!

Today, I went on a date with a fun, attractive girl. She ordered off the kid's menu, drowned her food in ketchup, and said my burger with blue cheese and bacon was disgusting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 435 You deserved it 176

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Anonymous · 13 July 2025, 09:00 ·Western Springs, United States

The road to hell

Today, I realized that basically half of my route to work now is road construction with traffic narrowed to one lane in both directions and backups for miles. I really wish they wouldn't start so many projects at once. Even trying to get around it is a pain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 377 You deserved it 72

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alltern8ive · This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff ·United States

Like in the movies

Today, my boyfriend tried to be romantic by dipping me backwards and kissing me. He dropped me on my butt, then stepped on my hand while trying to help me up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 660 You deserved it 5 168

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Hdbelle · 13 July 2025, 03:00 ·United States

Undisclosed annoyance

Today, I waited on hold with an undisclosed government office for nearly two and a half hours, sitting through 45 minutes of Terms and Conditions, only for the clerk to finally answer, say “Hello” once, and then hang up on me before I could even respond. FML

I agree, your life sucks 480 You deserved it 92

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Musical Terror · 13 July 2025, 00:00 ·Regina, Canada

I'm so tired

Today, I had a panic attack on the bus, because I couldn’t find my headphones. I was listening to them the whole time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 220 You deserved it 410

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Anonymous · 12 July 2025, 22:00 ·Ireland

Cut short

Today, after working two jobs and saving constantly this year all for a month-long solo vacation traveling to 7 countries, I arrived in first one. Within three hours I fell and broke my foot, forcing me to come home in fear of needing surgery. FML

I agree, your life sucks 552 You deserved it 108

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Melybae · 12 July 2025, 20:00 ·Miami, United States

Ragebait backfire

Today, I’ve been systematically sharing stories and posts about how love sucks and man-bashing memes so that my crush would regret his decision about rejecting me and choosing another girl over me. He DM’ed me : “Getting tired of your shit Melissa, I’m blocking you.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 75 You deserved it 1 370

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552220000 · This FML is from back in 2018 but it's good stuff

Meanwhile, at Harvard…

Today, I raised my hand to answer a question, but I forgot the answer, so when the teacher called on me, I just said, "I need to pee." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 703 You deserved it 628

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Anonymous · 12 July 2025, 15:00 ·United Kingdom

Reverse Uno card

Today, I made a small mistake, I admit, but my boss screamed at me that I’m completely useless and that if my uncle weren’t senior manager he’d fire me. I think he’s mistaken me for someone else, since I don’t have any uncles, but if I tell him that now, I actually believe he will fire me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 477 You deserved it 83

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Anonymous · 12 July 2025, 12:00 ·United States

Himbo

Today, I went to the gym to do squats. I couldn't even do it without weights on the squatting bar because it hurt too much to rest it on my back and neck. Then my friend who was with me and who is skinny as a rail easily managed it with two 45 pound weights. He claims it's from practice. I guess I’m wimpy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 116 You deserved it 403

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Anonymous · 12 July 2025, 09:00 ·Canton, United States

I'm dying over here!

Today, I choked on oatmeal, watered-down soupy oatmeal. It seemed to get stuck halfway down. I chucked up several spoonfuls. My wife was oblivious to all the noise I was making because she had her over-the-ear headphones on, listening to some stupid YouTube video. FML

I agree, your life sucks 210 You deserved it 285

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Anonymous · This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff ·United States

You can't hurry love

Today, my grandma wasn't feeling well, so I went to her house to check on her. After about 20 minutes, I knew she was feeling better when she looked at me and said, "So, do you have a boyfriend yet? I pray every night that I get to live long enough to see you with a boyfriend." FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 681 You deserved it 4 135

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Not Marilyn · 12 July 2025, 03:00 ·Dallas, United States

Windy

Today, I was walking into work when a gust of wind blew my skirt completely over my head in front of a group of tourists taking pictures of the building. Now I'm afraid that somewhere out there is a photo of me flashing my polka-dot underwear like a knock-off Marilyn Monroe. FML

I agree, your life sucks 400 You deserved it 106

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Diet time 4 me smh · 12 July 2025, 00:00 ·United States

Acts of service

Today, I asked my best friend, who I love, what his new girlfriend has that I don’t. I've gone the extra mile, did favors, been there at his highest and lowest for about a year and a half, yet he rejected me and chose a girl who he’s merely known 5 months. Apparently a slim waist and perky boobs/butt matters more. FML

I agree, your life sucks 199 You deserved it 721

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Anonymous · 11 July 2025, 22:00 ·United Kingdom

Heart to heart

Today, my sister answered texts from my girlfriend as though she was me. My girlfriend was glad we had a real heart to heart, even if it was just texts, while I was busy at work. I have no idea what they talked about and I’m too cowardly to break her heart by telling her it was my sister. FML

I agree, your life sucks 90 You deserved it 464

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wow · This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff ·United States

Industrial logs

Today, I took a massive dump at work and clogged the industrial toilet. Since I used the unisex one at the end of the hall, I watched my super hot coworker walk in after me. And then she ran out immediately. Everyone had seen me walk out before her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 702 You deserved it 37 337

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sorryaboutthat · 11 July 2025, 15:00 ·Cleveland, United States

Accounting

Today, because I forgot to fill out a form, I accidentally held up payroll for the whole organization. Oops. FML

I agree, your life sucks 130 You deserved it 522

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Anonymous · 11 July 2025, 12:00 ·United States

Pizza > Love

Today, I leaned in to kiss my boyfriend goodnight at the door. He smiled sweetly, cupped my cheek… and then used his other hand to pull the last slice of pizza out of my hand and slam the door shut. FML

I agree, your life sucks 429 You deserved it 116

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Dog the bounty hunter · 11 July 2025, 09:00 ·United Kingdom

Get back here

Today, my dog somehow figured out how to open the sliding glass door while I was taking a nap. I woke up to a text from my neighbor, saying, “Your damn dog is running around at the park annoying a bunch of strangers for food. You might want to come and grab her.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 354 You deserved it 176

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spekledworf · This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff ·Wrentham, United States

Ewww, gross

Today, I discovered why the milk in my house has a funny, sweet taste. My family has been pouring the leftover milk from their cereal back into the carton. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 916 You deserved it 2 090

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Slippery · 11 July 2025, 03:00 ·United States

Slippery situation

Today, it had rained and the marble steps outside my office were slicker than I expected. I was trying to navigate down them with a coffee cup in one hand and my phone in the other when I was startled by a notification, slipped, threw my coffee up in the air, and landed flat on my back. Of course there were spectators. FML

I agree, your life sucks 314 You deserved it 235

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Anonymous · 11 July 2025, 00:00 ·United Kingdom

Good boy

Today, my mom bought me a puppy. I’m single, I work 14 hour days, my life is in no way suitable for pet ownership, but mom won’t take him back because she thinks I need to learn adult responsibility. I’m a senior technician with a team of 17 people, I couldn’t be more responsible if I tried. FML

I agree, your life sucks 633 You deserved it 107

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Anonymous · 10 July 2025, 22:00 ·United Kingdom

Betrayed

Today, I found out that my husband never actually took our new healthy lifestyle seriously when his coworker told me that now, instead of at the house, he keeps beer and cigars at his brother's house, and visits the Burger King drive through every day for lunch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 392 You deserved it 235

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