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The all-time greatest FMLs

Lucid boredom

By Wasted effort - 02/08/2026 20:00 - United States

Today, I finally managed to have a lucid dream. I went to soar across the sky like Superman. Nothing happened. I went to have dream sex with a hot babe. Her body was just a blur and I didn't feel anything. I literally cannot recall the last time I was so disappointed in anything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 239

You deserved it 169

Just the tit

By Anonymous - 22/02/2026 12:00

Today, I had to explain to my husband that while trying to figure out how to make coffee on our stupid new machine, I was in fact nude, so when I finally got it to work and steam came hissing out of the nozzle, I got first degree burn on my nipple. FML

I agree, your life sucks 238

You deserved it 363

Running gag

By OnTheReceivingEnd - 13/06/2024 16:00 - United States - Gilbert

Today, I tried one of those AI companion simulators, one that's supposed to simulate what it's like to have a girlfriend. I role-played what it would be like to help her with a problem, then drive her home. After doing so, the AI began to act as if it didn't even know me, and asked me to leave. It's uncanny. FML

I agree, your life sucks 238

You deserved it 432

Kick it

By lukey101 - 24/04/2025 22:00 - Australia

Today, my worst fear was realised while walking past an under 15’s football game. The ball landed right by me and I attempted to kick it back, except it went flying diagonally & ended up even further away. I’m a 36 year-old man and got roasted by a bunch of 15 year-old boys. FML

I agree, your life sucks 238

You deserved it 322

Out of my head

By Gabriella - 10/01/2024 15:00 - United States - Copperas Cove

Today, I was so sleep deprived that when a customer held their hand out to get their receipt, I slapped it without thinking about it. Great way to start 2024. FML

I agree, your life sucks 238

You deserved it 344

Stiffed

By Anonymous - 04/12/2025 22:00

Today, I called my usual babysitter, one of the few people who can handle my difficult kids, to ask her to watch them for a night next week. She refused. It turns out my wife has been repeatedly underpaying her and she's fed up with it. So long date nights, I guess. FML

I agree, your life sucks 238

You deserved it 419

Step one: admitting we are powerless

By Anonymous - 01/02/2025 12:00 - United States

Today, I told my boyfriend that I was going to start controlling my drinking and he told me pretty much that he didn’t think I could do it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 238

You deserved it 397

Narrative

By ADHD - 16/12/2025 15:00

Today, I tried explaining a movie plot to a group of friends, only for them to inform me I had described three completely different movies. One said my version actually sounded better. Another asked if I’d hit my head recently. FML

I agree, your life sucks 238

You deserved it 150

Lost the plot

By Petra - 18/12/2025 20:00

Today, I joined a conversation about a TV show at work, agreeing enthusiastically. After a few minutes, I realized they were talking about a completely different show with a similar name. I nodded along, trapped, hoping no one asked questions. FML

I agree, your life sucks 238

You deserved it 106

Blanked it

By Saad Ahmed - 25/11/2022 22:00 - Pakistan - Islamabad

Today, I found out that yesterday's exam, which I left almost blank, had been leaked 3 hours prior. I hadn't been able to see it because my phone was out of juice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 238

You deserved it 916

The giggle loop

By Laugher - 31/12/2022 21:00 - United States

Today, my boss announced he will be taking bereavement leave due to his father passing away. For some reason I’ll never understand, I got the urge to laugh. I tried so hard to hold it in but it was very obvious. If looks could kill, I wouldn’t be able to write this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 238

You deserved it 1 173

Technology hates humans

By Anonymous - 02/03/2024 22:00 - United States

Today, I found out that my bathroom electrical outlet has a feature unique from the others, where it turns off on it's own and has to be reset. I found this out after returning an electric toothbrush for a refund, then paying double for another one, thinking the first one's charger didn't work thanks to the outlet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 238

You deserved it 505

Life's what you make it

By m…… - 25/02/2024 12:00 - United States

Today, my parents want nothing to do with me because I can’t stop spending money. Buying junk food is the one thing that makes me happy, and I’ve been to countless therapists and tried every medication. FML

I agree, your life sucks 238

You deserved it 643

Gulls on film

By Anonymous - 26/08/2026 15:00 - United States

Today, I'd signed up for a beginner birdwatching group because I wanted a quiet hobby. Everyone stood silently in a park for 20 minutes staring into a tree. I finally saw something move and whispered, “There!” The group leader looked through his binoculars and said, “That's a plastic bag.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 238

You deserved it 104

Caught in 4K

By Gwen - 24/05/2025 03:00 - Russia - Kolomna

Today, it was just epic. You know what's the last thing you want to hear from your naked husband, whom you are passionately playing with on a kitchen table? In a REALLY frivolous position too? "Uh… Hey kids!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 238

You deserved it 354

Jeep Fail

By FML Approved - 27/10/2017 04:00 - United States - New York

He is not one with the force.

I agree, your life sucks 238

You deserved it 408

Sharing is caring

By Lorna - 06/04/2023 22:00

Today, I got a 15% pay raise. My parents responded by saying, “Congratulations! You can now forget about online shopping packages coming in on a weekly basis and start chipping in for rent and utilities!” FML

I agree, your life sucks 238

You deserved it 1 192

Drunk

By Anonymous - 13/06/2021 17:59

Today, I awoke in my bathtub, water all over the floor, all the way into my living room. I drank too much so I don't remember getting into the bath, I have no clue how long I was in there, and I got a message from the manager of my apartment complex telling me the water had leaked into the apartment below. FML

I agree, your life sucks 238

You deserved it 1 602

Caught

By luckoftheirish - 18/07/2021 11:01

Today, I found out that masturbating on an airplane isn't frowned upon like they say in the movie 'The Hangover'. It's actually illegal. FML

I agree, your life sucks 238

You deserved it 3 028

Punctuality

By Broke - 17/05/2022 06:00

Today, I came into work to have my supervisor call me into her office, then her telling me to pack my things and get out. Apparently, just because they haven’t been saying anything about you being habitually late for work doesn’t mean that they don’t care. FML

I agree, your life sucks 237

You deserved it 3 382

Just his type

By idekwtfigo - 23/03/2022 14:00

Today, I stalked my boyfriend's ex again. I have come to the realization that I look just like her. I’m that girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 237

You deserved it 1 031

City boy

By Where? - 23/08/2023 08:00 - Canada - Calgary

Today, I went on a hike with friends, but as I'm the worst outdoorsperson because I rarely venture outside of the city, I ended up getting lost in some woods after straying from our group. I ended up having to call 911 to be rescued. My friends will absolutely not let me live this ordeal down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 237

You deserved it 868

The betrayal of floof

By Chris - 12/06/2024 16:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I tried to give my cat a bath after he got into the attic and got covered in all sorts of shit. Halfway through, he freaked out, jumped out of the tub, and ran around the house dripping wet. He then hid under my bed, and I had to practically dismantle it to get him out. Now my bedroom smells like wet fur and broken trust. FML

I agree, your life sucks 237

You deserved it 361

Baby fever

By Anonymous - 26/02/2024 15:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I agreed to babysit my baby nephew for a week while his parents flew abroad for the MIL’s funeral. I had hoped having a baby around might convince my wife to consider having kids. Nope. She got so sick of the baby, she moved into a hotel until my sister comes home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 237

You deserved it 935

What secret item did you expect?

By Nathalie - 06/11/2025 20:00

Today, my mom texted me, “Sweetie, I found something weird in your laundry basket.” My mind raced through every possible embarrassing scenario. I called her in panic, and she said, “Why are there 18 single socks?” I’ve never been so relieved to be messy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 237

You deserved it 121

Is he wrong though?

By Impossible - 03/08/2025 12:00 - Poland - Warsaw

Today, a friend who works for the power company said, "Nuclear energy is clean and safe, hydro power is great, but we also need coal and gas, and wind and solar are dogshit." Again, he works for the power company. How does a so-called expert get it all so wrong? FML

I agree, your life sucks 236

You deserved it 557

Memory hole

By George - 02/09/2022 00:00

Today, me and the missus went for a boozy meal in our local pub. We stumbled home, and full of lager-fuelled love and courage, I asked her, "We getting married then or what?" She replied, "We're already married, you daft cunt." FML

I agree, your life sucks 236

You deserved it 1 317

Dr Dolittle

By Anonymous - 06/12/2022 18:00

Today, I went with my family to visit my aunt, who lives on a farm. My brother told me that cows are ticklish and convinced me to go up and tickle one of the cows. The cow clearly wasn’t a fan, and I ended up being chased right into a lake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 236

You deserved it 1 156

Anyone could've waltzed in

By DTMM - 15/09/2023 08:00

Today, I was looking for my condo keys, thinking I had left them in my mailbox on the first floor the night before. Leaving to check, I realized I'd forgot to take them out of my door when I had come in, leaving them in the keyhole. FML

I agree, your life sucks 236

You deserved it 553

Small talk

By Marina - 21/06/2025 03:00 - United Kingdom - Bolton

Today, I was in bar and got talking to a guy next to me, who turned out to be American, which is quite exotic in my part of the UK. During the conversation, he mentioned being a vet, so I went on a long tangent about my cat's diarrhoea and asked him for advice. He let me babble on for ages before smiling and saying, "Not that kind of vet." FML

I agree, your life sucks 236

You deserved it 526

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The Top

Today, I was sitting on the chair-lift on a ski trip. There was a shift in gears and the metal in the seat began to vibrate. My dad, sister, and step-mom were all on the lift with me, not feeling a thing. It's terribly awkward to converse with your family while you involuntarily orgasm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 379

You deserved it 6 136

Today, my friend sent me a link about a nine year old kid who wrote an iPhone app that gets 2000 downloads per week. I am a 28 year old software developer and have been failing to write an iPhone app for months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 253

You deserved it 6 139

Today, I saw a dermatologist to see if they would remove my moles for cosmetic reasons. Turns out 5 of them are suspicious and need to be removed anyway. Good news: I don’t have to pay for it. Bad news: it might be because they’re cancerous. FML

I agree, your life sucks 558

You deserved it 122

Today, my girlfriend’s mom just got engaged to her boyfriend and he claimed it was me that inspired him to ask her. My girlfriend hates him, so to say I’m in the doghouse is an understatement, I’m lucky to still be in the garden, never mind the doghouse, and I have no idea what I did to inspire him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 393

You deserved it 77

Today, my girlfriend, who I really liked, dumped me after I sent proof of Canada’s government supported merge-like-a-zip campaign, because she thinks that zip-mergers are just people taking advantage of others. FML

I agree, your life sucks 420

You deserved it 119

Today, my mom found my sketchbook full of realistic dicks. She woke me up to show me with concern, and the page she showed as an example was specifically someone getting a handjob. For context, I draw lewd stuff for the laughs, and being an artist just makes it not work out in my favor. She now thinks I am a perv. FML

I agree, your life sucks 148

You deserved it 355