The Top

The most agreed on FMLs The most commented on FMLs The most favorited

The top of the day The top of the week The top of the month

The top of the year

Drilling time

By scared - 23/10/2025 09:00

Today, I went to the orthodontist. No biggie, of course. I know the drill, so I didn’t think twice before letting the doctor stick his gloved hands into my mouth. His warm, wet, gloved hands. What the fuck??? FML

I agree, your life sucks 328

You deserved it 69

Brat

By Anonymous - 25/10/2025 03:00

Today, my bratty stepdaughter ruins every picture possible by flipping off the camera. She either does it outright or slyly to the side. We recently paid hundreds of dollars for a professional family photoshoot and had to pay extra to Photoshop out her finger. He won’t discipline her at all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 347

You deserved it 138

Love is hell

By Anonymous - 26/10/2025 22:00

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me, and totally forgot about my existence. She doesn’t even text me, and I think there’s someone else, but she has my name tattooed on her body. Love sucks, I don’t recommend it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 335

You deserved it 154

Rich

By Anonymous - 30/10/2025 12:00

Today, I awoke at 3am to a discoloured, swollen and excruciatingly painful left foot. After a visit to the doctor and a CT scan, I was diagnosed with gout - AKA the “rich man’s disease.” I am by no means rich and can barely pass as a man, but still get the agonising condition nonetheless. FML

I agree, your life sucks 311

You deserved it 114

Punk rumble

By Not Even Chinese - 02/11/2025 22:00

Today, three teenage punks harassed me spewing made up Chinese. They might've scored a bingo, because a group of royally pissed off Chinese men came and attacked them. The cops arrived and took them, and me, not believing that I wasn't with them. Their evidence: one of punk's phones shows one of them consoling me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 339

You deserved it 70

New tricks

By Anonymous - 11/11/2025 20:00

Today, I had sex with my wife while she was on her period. After some time, I felt a burning sensation. When I pulled out, there was not only blood on my penis, but IN my penis. I, a man, peed out period blood. It hurt. I did not know this was possible. FML

I agree, your life sucks 153

You deserved it 267

Butterfingers

By Anonymous - 22/11/2025 12:00

Today, I sneezed so bad in public that I dropped my coffee, kicked it while trying to catch it, and watched it slide dramatically across the floor into someone’s shoe. They gasped like I'd committed a crime. I just whispered, “Sorry” and fled. FML

I agree, your life sucks 262

You deserved it 154

Pissed

By Anonymous - 26/11/2025 00:00

Today, I woke up after going to a rave with some friends. I got very nauseous and sat down behind a garbage bin outside to puke. I sat directly on fresh pee. About an hour later, I sat down on a toilet seat also covered in pee. I forgot to shower when I got home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 86

You deserved it 559

One for the British boomers

By Anonymous - 27/11/2025 20:00

Today, it's been about three weeks since I had a very vivid sex dream about a tall man, but had no idea who it was. Then today my grandad was watching old comedies and there the guy was, Bernard Bresslaw from the Carry On movies. Why brain? Why now and why him? I’ve not watched those movies in decades. FML

I agree, your life sucks 169

You deserved it 83

Yikes

By Anonymous - 29/11/2025 15:00

Today, I found out my most attractive co-worker has a crush on me. I'm 53. She's 16.. FML

I agree, your life sucks 370

You deserved it 122

WhatsApp news!

By Anonymous - 01/12/2025 09:00

Today, I bought a new smart scale that automatically broadcasts your weight to your fitness app. I didn’t realize it also shared updates with my gym group chat. They all got a notification titled, “Progress Report: Attempt #1.” It wasn’t progress. FML

I agree, your life sucks 299

You deserved it 164

Consent

By Anonymous - 03/12/2025 03:00

Today, I fully intended to start going to the gym so I set my alarm an hour early so I could go before work and get it over with. Alas, when the alarm went off and I saw that horrible "5 a.m." on my phone, my brain put me straight back to sleep without my consent. I ended up being late for work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 124

You deserved it 349

Stiffed

By Anonymous - 04/12/2025 22:00

Today, I called my usual babysitter, one of the few people who can handle my difficult kids, to ask her to watch them for a night next week. She refused. It turns out my wife has been repeatedly underpaying her and she's fed up with it. So long date nights, I guess. FML

I agree, your life sucks 228

You deserved it 403

Have a holly, jolly Christmas

By Anonymous - 13/12/2025 20:00

Today, I tried to look for a copy of a CD that my mom wanted after Amazon lost it. For some reason, that specific CD can only be ordered online. None of the stores have it in stock and the one store I tried wouldn't allow me to use the "ship to store" option on their website. FML

I agree, your life sucks 265

You deserved it 73

Monday morning grind

By Anonymous - 15/12/2025 15:00

Today, I joined a work call while rushing breakfast. I muted myself, or so I thought, until my boss asked who was “chomping.” I froze, mid-bite, while everyone waited. My coworker said it sounded “nutritious,” which somehow made it worse. I didn’t speak again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 109

You deserved it 361

QUIET!

By Janey - 17/12/2025 09:00

Today, I snuck a snack into a library study hall. One tiny crinkle of the wrapper and every head turned like I’d detonated a siren. I tried to nibble silently, misjudged the crunch, dropped the pack, and it performed an encore. The professor glared at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65

You deserved it 484

Winner winner, chicken dinner

By Anonymous - 19/12/2025 03:00

Today, I tried to return a library book sneakily to avoid the overdue fine. I slid it on the counter but the scanner screamed, lights flashed, and the librarian announced my humiliatingly overdue name like a game show host. FML

I agree, your life sucks 71

You deserved it 431

I'm gonna head out

By Shirlz - 22/12/2025 15:00

Today, I answered a question in a meeting that wasn’t directed at me. I spoke for way too long before realizing everyone was silent because the question had actually been rhetorical. My boss nodded slowly and moved on. No one mentioned it again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 159

You deserved it 338

Messy bitches

By Please explain - 24/12/2025 09:00

Today, I don't understand how my wife and son are incapable of opening any kind of packaging without tearing it to shreds. If they open a box of cereal or a bag of chips, it looks like a dog got hold of it. How? FML

I agree, your life sucks 334

You deserved it 66

Who am I?

By Carrie - 27/12/2025 22:00

Today, I went to a grocery store after work, exhausted. I nodded politely at a woman who smiled at me repeatedly. I realized at checkout she thought I was someone she knew. I nodded through a full conversation without knowing who I was pretending to be. FML

I agree, your life sucks 265

You deserved it 98

The cycle

By Anonymous - 31/12/2025 12:00

Today, my body has always been in a perfect cycle. The week after my ovulation, I start getting (in order, on a daily basis) dryness, itching, low energy, depression, manic mood swings, loss of appetite, bloating, and finally, when the back pain comes, my period. It all hit me in one day. Why? FML

I agree, your life sucks 304

You deserved it 63

Cool

By Shirly - 04/01/2026 00:00

Today, I went on a first date and laughed so hard at a joke that I snorted. I tried to play it cool, laughed harder, snorted again, and then knocked over my drink. The waiter brought napkins and said, “Happens all the time.” To me, yes, it does. FML

I agree, your life sucks 240

You deserved it 96

Perfect

By AITA - 05/01/2026 20:00

Today, I opened the bathroom door without knocking and walked in on my wife’s sister (who lives with us) showering naked. Seeing her perfect, drenched body turned me on. I'm now unable to get an erection with my wife, because I can’t remember the last time her body looked like that. I feel awful. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4

You deserved it 15

Core strength

By Susan01 - 11/01/2025 12:00 - United States - Carson City

Today, I gave yoga a try for what seemed like the tenth time. I underestimated how it's actually harder than it looks, and my gross unexpected sweat made my mat uber-slippery, and I ended up sliding into the person next to me. We both toppled over like human dominoes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 368

You deserved it 158

Higher standards of living

By gross? - 14/01/2025 20:00 - United States

Today, I was called gross by my mother for not cleaning my bathroom. I normally clean it every day, but today it looked clean, and I really needed a break. FML

I agree, your life sucks 409

You deserved it 83

Entitled parents

By Anonymous - 20/01/2025 02:00 - United States

Today, I’m being painted as some monster for sticking my horrible parents in a home. Funny, none of the family members castigating me are willing to let my awful parents move in with them and ruin their lives, yet I’m supposed to make room for them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 578

You deserved it 104

Intrusive

By Anonymous - 23/01/2025 15:00 - United States

Today, no matter who I try to date, all I can do is think about them having sex with another man. Watching them being taken by someone else over and over again. I don’t know when this started or why it continues, but the thoughts continue to plague my mind regardless of how much I try to suppress it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 265

You deserved it 365

Not very neighborly

By Kris - 31/01/2025 00:00 - India

Today, I pretended to be on a work call to avoid talking to my neighbour. Mid-fake call, my phone actually rang. I had to answer it and have two simultaneous conversations while avioding eye contact with my neighbour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 82

You deserved it 493

Rocks

By Anonymous - 05/02/2025 12:00 - United States

Today, I baked my boyfriend his favorite cookies for his birthday. Well, I tried. I followed the recipe, but they somehow turned out diamond hard. When he tried to bite into one, he chipped a tooth. Instead of being mad, he laughed and said, “At least you tried.” Now I’m stuck with inedible cookies and a dentist's bill. FML

I agree, your life sucks 399

You deserved it 141

Numb

By Anonymous - 08/02/2025 18:00 - United States - Canton

Today, an accident, which ripped off skin off of one side of my penis (which healed fine) a year ago, now has a side effect. If I sit on a hard chair too long, that area gets numb to the point of being extremely uncomfortable and the only solution is to stand up and rub it until the numbness goes away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 495

You deserved it 93

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

The Top

Today, I got called out of class to talk to some cops. Turns out my car was involved in a hit and run accident, while I was in school and there was no possible way it could have been me. But since they have no one else, it's my fault. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 005

You deserved it 2 230

Today, as I was sleeping, I found a snail in my bed, yet I was dreaming so I thought it was a dream, but it felt real. I jumped out of the bed and I couldn't believe it. I wonder how it got there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 729

You deserved it 112

Today, while giving a presentation, I felt something tickle my nose, but I kept talking through it. Eventually, someone in the front row raised their hand and said, “You’ve got a little, uh… something.” It was a full-on rogue booger. Hanging. Wiggling. For 10 minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 390

You deserved it 150

Today, I saw a customer at the restaurant I work at lovingly petting his cheeseburger and whispering sweet promises to it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 140

You deserved it 3 745

Today, I went to work at a hotel. One of the guests decided to play the piano in the lobby. He's deaf. Unfortunately, I'm not. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 380

You deserved it 6 664

Today, I asked a girl that I've been talking to for a couple of weeks out, but immediately got rejected because I'm left handed. I guess I'll leave that part out next time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 768

You deserved it 843