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Water shortage

By Anonymous - 27/01/2025 09:00 - United States - Bainbridge

Today, the water stopped working in our apartment. We are supposed to be moving into a new place tomorrow, so we asked the landlord if we could move in a day early. Upon arrival, we found that the water tank needs to be installed, so there's no water here either. We're now admitting defeat and checking into a hotel. FML

I agree, your life sucks 445

You deserved it 96

Bootstraps

By Anonymous - 29/01/2025 01:00 - United States - Denver

Today, I saw that Trump is cutting funding to Medicaid and freezing the portals everywhere. Medicaid covers the medicine I need to stay alive, and I can't afford it otherwise. I'm only 25, I don't want to die. FML

I agree, your life sucks 709

You deserved it 177

Shut it down

By Anonymous - 03/02/2025 20:00 - United States - Portland

Today, I went on a date with someone I met on a dating site. We hit it off, until he noticed the MAGA sticker on the back of my phone. He excused himself to go to the bathroom and never came back. I had to pay for both meals and explain to the waiter why I was practically crying into my bowl of noodles. FML

I agree, your life sucks 286

You deserved it 1 602

Can we fix it?

By Anonymous - 07/02/2025 08:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my street had a power cut while I was on my PS5. Luckily, they got it back on 4 hours later and my PS5 automatically repaired the damage to my save file. The power went off again 15 minutes later but came back on almost straight away, like a blip, but now my PS5 is dead. It won’t even turn on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 501

You deserved it 121

Freeloader

By Anonymous - 08/02/2025 21:00 - United States - Atlanta

Today, I found out that I have at least stage 3 cancer. I went on my insurance's website to get information for the doctors. I also saw "Other people who have been on your plan." My ex-wife was listed, with a new last name. She got remarried. I'm just going to let the cancer take me at this point. FML

I agree, your life sucks 504

You deserved it 112

Time to go natural

By Anonymous - 10/02/2025 16:00 - United States - Punta Gorda

Today, I wore press on nails and I work in a very professional setting where my hands are 24/7 visible to our clients. I've had multiple nails go flying off at various inappropriate times and my nail glue has been my BFF for 2 weeks. I had to go buy another nail glue bottle to make it through my second week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 83

You deserved it 598

Lost and found

By Lauren - 19/02/2025 20:00 - United States - Miami

Today, I was in a rush to meet some friends for brunch, and I arrived first. The restaurant door was locked, so I knocked. A waiter opened the door and stared at me with confusion before saying, “This isn’t the entrance, ma’am.” It wasn’t until I walked around the corner and saw the correct door that I realized I had been standing at the employee entrance the entire time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 129

You deserved it 440

First time?

By Anonymous - 23/02/2025 11:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I had such a realistic dream that I was about to be hanged by the neck until I was dead. I was dropped through the hole and I felt the noose snap my neck at the exact moment I woke up. I ended up crying in my wife’s arms for a solid five minutes. Now I’m afraid to sleep, maybe forever. FML

I agree, your life sucks 514

You deserved it 129

Tipping point

By Tipped off - 06/03/2025 00:00 - United States - Benson

Today, I helped a lady carry her grocery bags to her car. She was so grateful that she offered me a tip. I refused, but she insisted. When I finally took it, I looked at the bill to see she'd given me $1. I smiled and said thank you, but she looked at me like I’d just robbed her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 381

You deserved it 137

Hydrated pinkies

By Anonymous - 09/03/2025 14:00 - United Kingdom

Today, we went for a foot massage. My wife found it incredibly relaxing; I just found it weird that a complete stranger seemed to be trying to give each of my toes its own handjob. Plus they used so much moisturiser that it made the inside of my shoes feel like squishy mud all day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 334

You deserved it 137

Fixed it

By Own goal - 11/03/2025 09:00 - Netherlands

Today, my fiance finally began seeing a therapist, after months of my begging him to. The therapist convinced him that he and I had "irreconcilable differences" so now he's asked for the ring back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 432

You deserved it 224

Romance is dead

By Dead Bedrooms, here i come - 13/03/2025 02:00 - United Kingdom - Cardiff

Today, I realized our life has been lacking in romance lately, so I got a card, a bunch of flowers, and made reservations at a lovely restaurant for a nice evening. When I got home and gave my wife the flowers, all she did was sigh and ask what I "fucked up this time." She also refused to go to dinner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 565

You deserved it 121

A night to remember

By Anonymous - 14/03/2025 22:00 - Australia

Today, I planned to propose to my girlfriend in front of her family at dinner. I had the ring ready and got down on one knee. She immediately burst into laughter and said, "Are you kidding?" The family stared in silence, and I quickly realised she was just teasing me... until I stood up and knocked over an entire table of drinks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 474

You deserved it 127

Full stop

By Anonymous - 21/03/2025 18:00 - United States

Today, after my husband and I had been fighting, he left to go to his mom's and said we just needed some space. I later saw that he had deleted all my family, friends, and has our marriage hidden on Facebook, and has taken my name and "husband" out of his bio. He's already told everyone we split. FML

I agree, your life sucks 424

You deserved it 191

Heat of the moment

By Anonymous - 23/03/2025 21:00 - South Africa - Cape Town

Today, I went to my girlfriend's place to have a study session. Her dad was on a business trip but her mom was at home. We studied for about two hours, then we started getting frisky and started undressing and soon started fucking. We were about 20 minutes in when her mom came in and chased me out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 115

You deserved it 547

Cursed

By Freddie - 25/03/2025 15:00 - United States - Chattanooga

Today, I went on my first date in months. It was going well until the waiter brought our drinks. I went to take a sip of my cocktail, but I misjudged the size of the glass and the stupid paper straw, and spilled it all over myself. The waiter said, “Well, at least it’s not a first date curse,” and I replied, “Oh, it definitely is.” It was, because I doubt I'll be seeing her again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 321

You deserved it 143

Get me out of here!

By Anonymous - 27/03/2025 03:00 - United States

Today, because I'm still the emergency contact for my ex, I'm waiting to take him home after a routine surgery. I'm also trapped with his potential next girlfriend, who showed up and is trying to become best friends with me. She has giggled after every sentence for the past three hours like she's twelve. FML

I agree, your life sucks 387

You deserved it 136

One lonely Stanley cup

By Anonymous - 29/03/2025 10:00 - Singapore - Singapore

Today, my kids refused to wake up on time, and I was at least 30-45 minutes late to work. Oh, and I forgot to bring my coffee to work. The travel thermos is still sitting on the kitchen counter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 265

You deserved it 345

Reuniting with trauma

By Anonymous - 05/04/2025 03:00 - Sweden

Today, people in my class reunion bullied me because of a skin condition I have called xeroderma pigmentosum. It makes it so that I get sunburned really easily, and they did it just like they did back in middle school. I hated my life then but when I heard them say it again, I just started crying. FML

I agree, your life sucks 477

You deserved it 90

Knackered

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I'm being admitted to the hospital for severe exhaustion. Why am I exhausted? For spending 12 hours at the hospital while my sister gave birth. The same hospital I'm being admitted to. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 183

You deserved it 6 130

New friend

By Rich - 26/04/2025 08:00 - United Kingdom

Today. after I moved to a new area, I bumped into an old guy on crutches who asked me where the doctor's was. I wasn't sure, so Google Mapped it. I read the map wrong and sent him in the opposite direction. I've seen him twice since and I reckon if he could catch me, he'd kill me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 267

You deserved it 179

Beware!

By MomOfTheYear - 28/04/2025 03:00 - United States - San Diego

Today, I took my toddler to a petting zoo and warned her not to stick her fingers in the goat pen. Two minutes later, I stuck my finger in to pet one, and it bit me. She looked me dead in the eyes and said, “See? I told you.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 78

You deserved it 652

I ain't no hollaback girl

By Anonymous - 03/05/2025 12:00 - United States - Newark

Today, I was walking my dog when a car slowed down, and a guy leaned out of the window, then yelled, "Hey, nice dog!" Naturally, I turned to reply, "Thank you!" only to find that the guy had no intention of complimenting me at all. He had been talking to the dog the entire time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 376

You deserved it 230

Someone check in on this guy

By Klinger - 08/05/2025 20:00 - United States

Today, I was in a public restroom and slipped on some soap on the floor while I was washing my hands. As I fell, I grabbed the nearest thing to break my fall, which happened to be the hand dryer. It fell off the wall and hit me in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 455

You deserved it 88

Let's pretend this never happened

By Anonymous - 10/05/2025 15:00 - United States - Seattle

Today, I ran into an old friend in a grocery store. We both went in for a hug, but at the exact same moment we both leaned in for a cheek kiss. We ended up awkwardly smashing faces together and then slowly pulling away, silently pretending that whatever that was didn’t just happen. We haven’t spoken since. FML

I agree, your life sucks 341

You deserved it 128

WTF?

By Anonymous - 14/05/2025 09:00 - Philippines

Today, with a nagging feeling about my girlfriend cheating on me, I decided to look through her phone. She walked in on me, and before I could come up with an excuse, she rolled her eyes and said, "Go ahead. The only things I have to hide are saucy pics of Darth Maul." FML

I agree, your life sucks 77

You deserved it 747

Roomba shuffle

By Anonymous - 17/05/2025 20:00 - United States

Today, I came home to shredded tissues all over the floor. I yelled at my dog, who looked guilty but confused. Turns out, it wasn’t him, it was my robot vacuum cleaner again. It had sucked up a bunch of tissues and napkins from under the couch and then spread them all over the place like confetti. I owe my dog an apology. FML

I agree, your life sucks 105

You deserved it 518

Daily struggle

By Anonyme - 21/05/2025 02:00 - United States

Today, I'm pulling myself up by my bootstraps again. I have Ehlers-Danlos syndromes and don't metabolize protein properly, which led to a massive protein deficiency after losing 6lb in a week from a medical emergency. I just did two rounds of physical therapy a year ago and lost all of the muscle. I'm tired. FML

I agree, your life sucks 490

You deserved it 77

Meritocracy, huh?

By Anonymous - 23/05/2025 03:00 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, my dad got mad at me for not believing him when he kept repeating that our dear leader was appointing Judge Judy to the government. I then found out he wasn't far off, so I don't know which is worse, that he was technically correct about some TV judge, or that the actual "judge" is even worse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 338

You deserved it 190

A for Effort, but…

By Anonymous - 28/05/2025 12:00 - United States - Portland

Today, I woke up to balloons, streamers, and my roommates yelling “SURPRISE!” Unfortunately, they got the wrong day. My birthday is next week, and now I'll probably have to pretend to be surprised again in seven days. FML

I agree, your life sucks 361

You deserved it 99

FML on Facebook

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The Top

Today, whilst heading out the door to go to work, my lanyard got caught on the doorknob inside, and I watched my keys swing back inside as the door closed behind me. It was locked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 749

You deserved it 256

Today, I introduced my boyfriend to my dad. He met him after my boyfriend ran his truck into a tree, and my dad had to pick us up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 220

You deserved it 4 059

Today, I lost the key to my bike lock. I ended up having to cut it off, even though it was brand new. After spending 30 minutes hacking away at it, it finally came off. When I hopped onto my bike, I felt something poking my leg. My key was in my pocket the whole time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 840

You deserved it 20 952

Today, I had a 5 hour exam. The exam guard had clearly eaten something funky, because she kept burping loudly. When I thought it couldn't get any worse, she started farting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 009

You deserved it 3 409

Today, I was in class and really needed to pee. My teacher has chosen to replace our hall pass with a copy of War and Peace. She picks out a page for us to memorise on the shitter, and repeat by heart later. If we can't remember, we get locked out of class, and then get detention for being absent. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 746

You deserved it 3 436

Today, I worked up the courage to ask my crush out for coffee after work. She agreed and I confidently said, "Alright, it's a date!" She replied, "Haha, a date with you? I'm just going for the free coffee!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 690

You deserved it 4 395