The Top

The most agreed on FMLs The most commented on FMLs The most favorited

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The top of the year

Lost

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - Germany - Berlin

Today, it's my only day off work in a while. I told my boss I'd be available via phone in case of emergencies. So far I've been called three times: To ask how the fax works, to let me know it's a slow day, and to ask me where the letter R is on a keyboard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 320

You deserved it 6 057

Move!

By CrimsonAmaryllis - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom - Bristol

Today, after two and a half hours of travel, it was finally my stop on the train. I politely waited for a group of women to get off first. They took so long to move that the train doors closed. I shouted at one through the door to call the conductor. She watched and smiled as the train departed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 887

You deserved it 4 242

On the road

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was feeling super nervous about driving because I had my first accident the day before. As I stopped at a red light, I got rear-ended. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 114

You deserved it 2 660

MOM!

By Yeppets - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I went to a comedy show with my mom, and they asked the audience members to yell out their problems as ideas for an improv skit. My mom yelled, "My daughter can't get a boyfriend!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 473

You deserved it 4 915

Abstract art

By anonymous - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - Canada

Today, it took me five hours to paint my deck, only to have it ruined by the neighbor's cat running all over the wet paint. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 073

You deserved it 3 493

Remember?

By Baby_girl - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my best friend whom I have been in love with for years, called me, proposed, and confessed his love for me. He was at a noisy bar so I asked him to call me back later and we'd discuss it. He called back later, hungover, with no recollection of our conversation whatsoever. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 719

You deserved it 5 379

Smartass

By dumbass for a flatmate - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - Australia - Sydney

Today, my roommate told me that she wants to get some of those "My Family" stickers for her car. She's single and has no children. What does she want to get? One for her, and one for her goldfish. Sadly, this is probably one of the most intelligent things she's said all week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 596

You deserved it 3 863

Poor Despereaux

By Squeak - This FML is from back in 2017 but it's good stuff - United States - Fort Bragg

Today, I baked a cake. After feeding it to my entire family, I opened the stove, planning to temporarily store the cake inside. I then noticed a mouse, burnt to a crisp. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 859

You deserved it 888

Seniors!

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, in the senior class I teach, I asked my students who had traveled outside of the country, excluding Canada and Mexico. One student raised his hand and proudly stated, "Arizona". He wants to be a doctor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 371

You deserved it 3 476

Spring cleaning

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I had to mow the lawn with a weed-whacker because it rained a lot the past week and the push mower was broken. I started "mowing", and forgot that I was mowing where the dogs take dumps, I absentmindedly whacked over dog poop… which got flung into my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 196

You deserved it 26 437

Gun control

By grant b - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my boss asked if he could pay me in guns. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 732

You deserved it 6 166

I like what I like

By Aled - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom

Today, I caught my mom eating cat biscuits. We don't have a cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 138

You deserved it 3 382

Best clapback

By wetbutt - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I yelled at my little brother for leaving the toilet seat up and told him he needed to go around the house and make sure they were all down. I went to the bathroom later to find that the toilet seats and covers from every toilet had all been removed and were sitting on my bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 128

You deserved it 69 033

Tricked

By drug testing - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States - Little Chute

Today, while answering an "anonymous" survey about how to keep my school drug free, I told them they should stop drug testing the kids that they know don't do drugs and test the sketchier ones. They in turn drug tested me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 416

You deserved it 15 552

No one's favorite

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I bought my mom a gift certificate for a spa treatment for two so we could spend some quality time together. She took my sister. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 888

You deserved it 3 816

Morris was here

By ceetee - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - Australia

Today, someone came over and told my mother, "I'm your son's friend Morris, I need to get something out of his car", so she gave him the keys. I have no friend called Morris, and now I don't have a sound system either. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 044

You deserved it 3 508

Gross

By hushnow - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I had no choice but to shake the hand of a customer who, just moments before, had the aforementioned hand down the front of his pants, scratching his snowglobes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 219

You deserved it 3 813

You never know

By lolwut - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - United States - Albany

Today, I saw my teacher using her phone in the middle of class, so to joke around with her, seeing as we're on pretty good terms, I said: "Using your phone in class? For shame." She looks me in the eyes and says, "Would it be OK if I told you I'm arranging my father's funeral?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 000

You deserved it 18 748

Karma sucks

By gagus123 - This FML is from back in 2019 but it's good stuff

Today, I pretended to be sick at the office and went home early because I wanted to attend a party. On the way to the said party, my car caught fire on the highway. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 007

You deserved it 2 579

Caught short

By highleyj - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I ran to a public bathroom because of explosive diarrhea. In the middle of it, I noticed there was no more toilet paper nor paper towels remaining. The smallest bill in my wallet was a 5. I had to pay 10 dollars to wipe my own butt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 94 579

You deserved it 20 032

Too late

By John W. - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was driving my eight year-old son to school when a guy cut me off, prompting me to yell "Douche bag!" as a reflex out of the window. Realizing my mistake, I turned to my son and told him to never, ever talk like that. His response was, "Too late, douche bag." FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 741

You deserved it 47 428

Bad start to the day

By IVOaf - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, as I tried to get out of bed, I got my foot tangled in my sheets. I reached out to my dresser to avoid falling flat on my face. I didn't fall, but I did manage to smash my fingers in the drawer while still trapped in the sheets. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 819

You deserved it 4 930

Panic!

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States - Marsing

Today, I told my boyfriend that I've missed my period, and that I think I might be pregnant. He started panicking and ended up puking in the toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 806

You deserved it 12 449

Asshats

By anon - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom

Today, I was walking in the park when I heard some boys shouting behind me. As I turned around they poured a bucket of red liquid over my head. They thought I was someone they knew. I wasn't. And I was wearing a $200 white dress. Red dye doesn't come out of white dresses. FML

I agree, your life sucks 84 620

You deserved it 4 987

Words of encouragement

By rolypoly - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom

Today, I achieved a personal goal by completing a half-marathon for charity, despite being overweight and unfit before training. When I finished I cried, not because I was proud of myself, but because I ran the last two miles while being followed by kids on bicycles calling me a "fat cunt". FML

I agree, your life sucks 71 897

You deserved it 5 701

Freakout

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - South Africa

Today, I woke up to a blood-curdling scream from the bathroom. I jumped out of bed in panic and rushed into the bathroom, only to see my sister limping around in the nude. She'd just jumped out of the shower because someone had flushed the toilet downstairs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 643

You deserved it 4 387

Nice, thanks

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, a little girl came up to me and said, "Hi, my name is Lindsey, let's be friends!" I thought she was cute, so I played along and said, "OK! My name is Jen!" Her reply was, "Wait, never mind, I don't want to be friends anymore. You smell funny." FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 082

You deserved it 13 500

Happy birthday, huh?

By Jim - 09/04/2026 20:00 - United States

Today, it's was my birthday. My wife did not get me anything or do anything for me. Instead, she said, "I'll knock an extra day off your sex ban." Sadly, this is probably the nicest thing she's done for my birthday in several years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 522

You deserved it 135

Romance is dead

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, wanting to be romantic, I came home with flowers, and told my girlfriend that I loved her and that I never wanted us to fall apart. Before I could finish my second sentence, she farted, said, "Aww, that's so sweet" and quickly excused herself to go to the bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 436

You deserved it 2 987

Party time!

By revalc - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - Canada

Today, I'm having my housewarming party and had prepared food, drink, and games for all the 19 confirmed guests on Facebook. I waited till 11, but nobody showed up. I checked Facebook again and realized I had accidentally put tomorrow as the party date. I have to work the whole day tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 713

You deserved it 52 270

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The Top

Today, on the bright side, my boobs grew a size. Unfortunately, this was only after bed bugs decided to attack my nipples. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 784

You deserved it 3 198

Today, while at my friend's house, I decided to climb up on a shelf and pounce on him when he came back downstairs. When I heard someone coming, I assumed it was him and pounced. It was his grandma carrying the laundry. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 774

You deserved it 44 852

Today, I woke up from a dream in which I had a penis. Apparently I talk in my sleep, because my boyfriend kept staring at my crotch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 943

You deserved it 5 026

Today, I got a prank call. I now wish he'd call back so I can actually talk to someone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 365

You deserved it 8 251

Today, I left my husband in charge of the house for a day. When I returned, I saw him gaming through the window, so I stormed in and yelled at him. Then, my eyes adjusted, and I saw the neatly folded laundry, clean kitchen, vacuumed rugs, and my son, who was asleep until I woke him. Whoops. FML

I agree, your life sucks 115

You deserved it 2 908

Today, my dad learned a new way to annoy the family. Since watching some Twitch streamers that one time, he refers us as "chat." As in, "Chat, what should we have for dinner?" or "Hey chat, check out my fit. Yay or nay?" or even, "Chat, is that true?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 329

You deserved it 92