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Inspection time

By Anonymous - this FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States - Monterey

Today, my grandmother made a rule that every time we take a crap, she has to examine the turds to make sure they aren't big enough to clog up the pipes. I don't know what's worse: that she looks at my turds, or the fact that she actively comments on them. FML

agreeclassic 49 670

vote type 1 3 697

Indoctrinated

By workfordayzz - this FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I realized that because of my construction job, I have spent such a huge amount of time with older, cynical guys that I keep uncontrollably using the phrase "fucking kids these days" regularly like an idiot. I'm 18. FML

agreeclassic 43 608

vote type 1 9 108

Karma

By fullmoonfml - this FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I thought it would be funny to moon people out of my friend's car window. I rolled down the window and mooned a random couple. You should have seen the looks on their faces when I had to get out of the car and pick up my phone and wallet, which were in my back pocket. FML

agreeclassic 6 213

vote type 1 58 456

Precious memories

By Mangler - this FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - Belgium

Today, my grandfather died. The last thing he said to me was, "You smell awful." I work in a fish store. FML

agreeclassic 47 645

vote type 1 5 348

Self own + Karma

By Anonymous - 07/03/2025 05:00 - United States

Today, I was really excited to go on a date with my girlfriend. We were sat in the restaurant looking at our menus when she suddenly frowned and said someone was watching us from across the street. I turned to see who it was. My wife. FML

agreeclassic 79

vote type 1 1 837

Whoops

By mmv - this FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I took my car into the shop to get a minor problem fixed. I left several hours later, without my car. Why? The mechanic crashed it while out on a test drive to make sure he'd fixed the problem. FML

agreeclassic 41 541

vote type 1 2 209

Trick question

By howprofessional - this FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States - Dearborn

Today, at a job interview, I was asked what I thought of twerking. It was a bizarre question, but trying to get on the interviewer's good side, I said I thought it was pretty cool. He snorted and said I'll be job-seeking for a while yet. FML

agreeclassic 24 088

vote type 1 47 496

Yes problem

By DarkDolly - this FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - France

Today, at around 2am, I was walking through a parking lot to my car when a man walking behind me told me not to be scared. I turned around to tell him there was no problem. He was naked. FML

agreeclassic 37 447

vote type 1 3 237

The gush

By mwja - this FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - France

Today, thanks to a particularly spicy bowl of noodles, my nose decided it would rather be a fountain. A fountain of blood. FML

agreeclassic 31 814

vote type 1 4 011

Proof

By George Saunders - this FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - New Zealand - Auckland

Today, I accused my son of faking being sick. He then blew chunks all over me. FML

agreeclassic 8 154

vote type 1 54 237

Get out of here

By Anon - this FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was telling my coworker that I was considering quitting the shady, 50-shades-of-scum business we work at. He snitched to our boss, who quickly fired me on bullshit charges of incompetence, theft, and workplace bullying. I guess I'm not getting a good reference from him. FML

agreeclassic 22 725

vote type 1 6 035

Hell no!

By Anonymous - this FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my ex-wife, whom I divorced just 8 months ago, asked me to attend her wedding, because "it would mean a lot" to her. She's marrying the man she cheated on me with. FML

agreeclassic 54 787

vote type 1 3 395

Hang in there

By bs_happens - this FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I found out that a water pipe at my work had burst over the weekend. There is absolutely no water in the building, including the bathrooms. It's a 9-hour day, and I took a laxative this morning before I came in. FML

agreeclassic 29 242

vote type 1 11 508

Hmmmm…

By Anonymous - this FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my 21 year-old boyfriend asked me what foreplay is. FML

agreeclassic 33 824

vote type 1 5 380

The usual?

By yeahno - this FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I found out that the man who came into work yesterday, the man who tried to grope me from over the counter, the one who spat his drink in my face, the one who kicked me in the shins when he didn't like the way his food tasted, is a regular and I can expect him three times a week. FML

agreeclassic 33 965

vote type 1 2 526

Great start

By Anonymous - this FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I met my new roommate. She severely struggled with pronouncing my name, and decided that to save time and the effort, she's just going to call me what she thinks my name sounds like: Lube. FML

agreeclassic 28 496

vote type 1 3 341

Assumptions

By Badatlife - this FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - Australia - Kellyville

Today, a guy at work pulled me aside to tell me that I probably shouldn't be working a job where I have to interact with customers, because of my autism. I don't have autism. FML

agreeclassic 51 281

vote type 1 4 746

Freakout

By Anonymous - this FML is from back in 2018 but it's good stuff

Today, I finally summoned the courage to ask my roommate to chip in for electricity costs. She called me a bitch, proceeded to tell me she can't afford it, despite working full time and me part time, and blocked me on all communications. Uhm, what ? FML

agreeclassic 3 632

vote type 1 451

The Hulk

By dino0123 - this FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States - Herndon

Today, my very cheap boyfriend of four years proposed. I was overwhelmed with emotion, since he bought such a huge, seemingly-diamond ring. I was later overwhelmed with emotion when my finger turned green. FML

agreeclassic 32 832

vote type 1 4 600

Stealthy

By jessye1182 - this FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States - Yaphank

Today, I was babysitting, playing hide and seek. I tried to jump behind the armchair, but it tipped, and I hit my head into the wind chimes, ripped the curtain rod from the wall, and smashed my knee into the wall. I lay on the ground in agonizing pain as the little girl shouted, "I know where you are!" FML

agreeclassic 22 975

vote type 1 6 404

Hyperloop

By disfordiploma - this FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I found out that I'm failing this semester because I've missed too many classes. I've missed the classes because I've been having panic attacks, a symptom of my anxiety disorder. I got the anxiety disorder because I was so afraid of failing school. FML

agreeclassic 108 688

vote type 1 28 540

Please don't do this

By Anonymous - this FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I took my girlfriend of five and a half years to family dinner at a restaurant. After we all had finished dessert, I got down on one knee, pulled out my great grandmother's ring and proposed. The entire restaurant was dead silent. She looked around and then slowly walked out. FML

agreeclassic 76 568

vote type 1 6 943

Executive confusing

By DoseyGit - this FML is from back in 2017 but it's good stuff

Today, while brushing my teeth I noticed a hair in the sink. Running the scenario over in my mind, I was going to simultaneously spit into the sink and throw the hair on the floor. Creating a big ball of phlegm, I threw the hair back into the sink and launched a huge mouthful onto the floor. FML

agreeclassic 4 212

vote type 1 3 195

Late stage Lucy Letby

By mrdentist - this FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff

Today, I was cleaning one of my elderly patient's teeth. After finishing and reminding her to floss, I realised she had died. Supposedly she was dead for a good 20 minutes. FML

agreeclassic 70 219

vote type 1 5 614

The big reveal

By joe - this FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States - Easton

Today, I was teasing my 6-year-old sister about having a boyfriend. I asked her, "Did he take his shirt off?" She promptly said no. A few minutes later, she said, "But he did take his pants off." I then asked why. She said, "To show me his penis." FML

agreeclassic 60 115

vote type 1 8 778

What have you done?

By Anonymous - 12/04/2025 08:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my son dropped a firecracker in my flour storage bin, probably thinking the pop would make flour go everywhere. I guess he’s never heard of a dust explosion because what he actually did was set fire to the flour, causing such a violent shockwave it blew the kitchen window out of the wall. FML

agreeclassic 547

vote type 1 85

Creep from the past

By annoyed - this FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I received a phone call from a good guy friend of mine, someone I haven't seen for years. He tells me he has "deep" feelings for me, and wants to know since my husband is deployed, if it would be okay if we "dated" because he told his parents I'm his girlfriend. FML

agreeclassic 37 597

vote type 1 2 956

Trump card

By Clumsy & Forgetful - this FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - Canada

Today, I found out why I'm always let off easy when I do something wrong at work. They think I have a mental handicap. I don't. I'm just clumsy and forgetful. FML

agreeclassic 29 516

vote type 1 6 151

Great timing, dude

By misswhiskers - this FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - Australia

Today, it's my birthday. I woke up to a text message from my boyfriend, breaking up with me. When I commented on his impeccably bad timing, he admitted he'd forgotten it was my birthday. FML

agreeclassic 40 517

vote type 1 3 446

Charming

By FootyFoot - this FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - Australia

Today, I texted my mom if she could pick me up from the hospital. She replied, "No fatty, walk home." I have a broken foot. FML

agreeclassic 37 849

vote type 1 3 276

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Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Awkward Pokémon Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Top

Today, I kicked my coffee table while barefoot, got an X-ray, and I’d cracked the bone. Got home, kicked the exact same table with the exact same toe, got another X-ray, the crack is now a full-on break. What a day. FML

agreeclassic 474

vote type 1 970

Today, I asked my 4-year-old daughter where her father went. She said, "Out to have fun with Zoe." Acting on suspicion, I followed him and did a stakeout. Hours later, I barged in and caught him playing Dungeons and Dragons. "Zoe" is the female wizard he plays as. FML

agreeclassic 1 919

vote type 1 4 571

Today, I found out that there's a very loud and frisky couple living above my bedroom, and a family with a crying baby living above my living room. At this rate, I'll end up sleeping in the bathtub in my own home. FML

agreeclassic 33 716

vote type 1 2 755

Today, my mother told me she needed a urine sample to send in to the doctors to test for any allergies. I did what she had asked and went to my room. I came down stairs later and found her in the bathroom putting my pee on a pregnancy test stick. FML

agreeclassic 87 467

vote type 1 8 682

Today, I had an important interview. On the way there, I stopped in front of a car window to look at my reflection, checking I didn't have salad stuck between my teeth. Having pulled several faces, I realised that there were two girls inside the car, cracking up with laughter. FML

agreeclassic 24 100

vote type 1 12 393

Today, the day before I was going to move in with my army fiancé, he was told he would be deployed very soon. I can't pay for the apartment without him, and now have to move back in with my parents until he returns from active duty. FML

agreeclassic 35 093

vote type 1 6 664