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Here's my original post on FB. FML condense make us condense it to 300 words :p aww man.. Just went through one of the most awkward moments of my life. I Just got off the plane from Taipei to hk, during the flight I fell asleep and had a nightmare. I can't remember what it was about. But, I think I was being attacked. So anyway, I started screaming in my dream, unfortunately that translated to screaming in reality as well. It was a loud scream as well cause it was enough to wake me up. The good and also funny thing is it wasn't just me screaming, there was this old lady sitting next to me, who I guess after I was screaming also started screaming.... It was like domino scream! Luckily I still had my eyes closed and realized it was too awkward and embarrassing to explain myself, I could hear people laughing behind me, beside me and in front.. So I just kept my eyes closed. Seriously , one of the most awkward moments I've been in, it took all my will power to continue pretending to sleep and self control not to laugh cause that old aunty screaming after I screamed was Damn funny... I did a muffled giggle when she was saying ... omg this boy scared me to death.. Luckily someone said quite loudly poor kid he must've had a nightmare.. Sigh.... FML

By CityBoysNow - 11/09/2013 00:14 - United States - Lake Saint Louis

Today, I hooked up with the guy I've liked for a while, even though my friends joked that his large pickup truck meant that he was "compensating" for having a small penis. They were right. Very right. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 648

You deserved it 13 285

By All the ills - 15/02/2016 20:32 - United States - Geneva

Today, I was miserable with a cold. So I ordered soup and noodles from a new Chinese restaurant. Now I am miserable with a cold and food poisoning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 057

You deserved it 2 267

By australian6196 - 05/02/2014 02:36 - Australia - Sydney

Today, while on a road trip through Australia with my dad, we were both complaining that we had yet to see any kangaroos. Suddenly, we saw one up real close. The rental car saw it even closer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 776

You deserved it 7 484

By candy - 11/02/2016 12:24 - Canada - Kitchener

Today, I greeted my boss with, "Looking good, did you lose weight?" He responded that no, he'd just purchased larger pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 169

You deserved it 4 006

Boot camp

By oohrahgal - 14/02/2019 16:32 - United States - Clementon

Today, my boyfriend graduated from boot camp. After the ceremony, I rushed over and tried to jump into his arms. This would have been romantic if he was expecting it. Instead, he fell over and we crashed onto the floor in front of everyone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 171

You deserved it 30 358

Force of habit

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - Netherlands - Apeldoorn

Today, I unintentionally moaned during my prostate exam. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 465

You deserved it 7 797

By pass_the_tp - 13/01/2010 02:57 - United States

Today, I was at the movie theatre. I went to the bathroom, and was about to wipe my butt when I realized that where the toilet-paper dispenser should have been, there was a large hole. The woman in the next stall waved. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 351

You deserved it 5 536

Elaborate

By ehxtraordinarily pissed - 13/12/2014 18:36 - United States - Coweta

Today, my Canadian friend is staying a few days at my parents' house. I drove him from the airport, only to find my idiot dad had decked the spare room out with maple syrup bottles. He keeps saying "Eh" all the time and asked "What's he so upset aboot?" when my friend was offended. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 052

You deserved it 3 393

By MemoKrosav - 30/01/2016 03:54 - Mexico - Matamoros

Today, I had the most uncomfortable feeling in my socks, but I didn't care to check. It wasn't until I got home that I realized that the feeling was a small thin piece of glass that was slowly cutting away at the bottom of my foot. I still don't know how it got there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 312

You deserved it 4 562

By Anonymous - 27/01/2016 05:41 - United States - Spring

Today, my boss got mad at me because I told her that I wouldn't be able to work two days out of the week, due to college classes. She then cut back my hours so much that I now only work one day a week. I got the job in the first place to pay for my college classes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 308

You deserved it 1 640

By Anonymous - 24/12/2010 03:37 - United States

Today, I put a sock on my dorm room door to get everyone to think I was getting laid. In truth, I'm a virgin and just wanted to take a peaceful nap. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 304

You deserved it 8 612

Kitten Struggles

By FML Videos - 01/11/2018 19:30 - United States - New York

I don't get no respect!

I agree, your life sucks 285

You deserved it 93

Spooked

By void bowels() { cry(); } - 26/11/2014 20:45 - United Kingdom - Caerphilly

Today, I came home late from work. As I got out of my car, I noticed a child-shaped silhouette in my bedroom window. I almost shat myself, since I live alone. I searched the whole house, sobbing in fear, only to find no trace of whatever or whoever I'd seen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 988

You deserved it 3 692

By fsfs - 17/08/2013 16:27 - Germany - Kiel

Today, I went downstairs a little after midnight to grab a snack, and in the dark hallway, I clearly saw a small child walk into the kitchen. I was freaked out, but I followed him in. There was nobody in the room. I'm now too scared to sleep, and am seriously considering moving house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 593

You deserved it 5 168

By got to be kidding me - 02/05/2019 14:00 - United States - Cape Coral

Today, my eight-year-old daughter refused to use the port-a-potty at the fair. She preferred to piss her pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 034

You deserved it 299

By FuckedOver - 14/01/2016 14:31 - United States - Houston

Today, I found out my mom took around $2,500 from my savings account to pay off my sister's college tuition. She recently flunked out of her studies and won't be returning to college anyway. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 856

You deserved it 1 607

Dad jokes

By Anonymous - 10/10/2011 22:26 - United States

Today, I wore my brand new Wonderbra to school. When I got home, my dad looked at me and started laughing hysterically. Between breaths, he asked if anyone actually thought my chest was that big and said, "You know why it's called a Wonderbra? Guys take it off and wonder where your tits went." FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 246

You deserved it 27 888

You OK in there?

By Bes - 14/06/2009 15:54 - Canada

Today, at school, I was trying to pee in the stall, but I couldn't. I repeatedly pushed my bladder. Unfortunately, I didn't realize a number of things. My stall was open, I made noises from frustration, and I looked like I was jacking off. When I gave up, somebody clapped and yelled, "FINALLY!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 033

You deserved it 51 399

Bubbly

By traumatised - 15/06/2019 22:27

Today, I went to make my morning coffee as usual. When I opened the container for the coffee grounds, I saw it bubbling. Perplexed, I looked closer. This is how I discovered that maggots can actually bubble what they ingest. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 102

You deserved it 288

By Anonymous - 11/08/2013 00:04 - United States - Reno

Today, after swimming in the pool, I went into the shower. Little did I know that my niece was hiding in there. She excitedly yelled "I saw your boobs!" Now my nephew won't stop crying because he didn't get to see them as well. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 403

You deserved it 4 403

FML on Facebook

Keywords

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The Top

Today, while planning my baby shower with my mom and sister, our other sister made a huge scene, screaming how no one threw her a party when she adopted a baby, and that my parents should stop referring to mine as their first grandchild since she already gave them one. A puppy. She has a puppy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 430

You deserved it 138

Today, my boyfriend did the Austin Powers dance/strip-tease while dancing to 'I Touch Myself'. It was cute until he ripped off his shirt and revealed that he'd shaved his chest hair in the shape of a penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 850

You deserved it 9 525

Today, I was given a DUI while in the Whataburger drive thru. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 875

You deserved it 46 322

Today, my husband won't shave his beard, despite the fact it grows in wiry and looks like pubic hair. He is now accusing me of "not loving him for who he is." FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 973

You deserved it 1 269

Today, I was at Aéropostale with some friends when I noticed a woman glaring at me. When we got to the checkout, the woman still had her eyes on me, so I asked why she was staring. She snapped, "If you had kept your legs closed, you wouldn't be pregnant." I'm not pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 629

You deserved it 6 161

Today, I told my boyfriend that I gained a few pounds and thought I looked fat. He replied that I looked the same and that I shouldn't worry because he likes fat girls. I never thought I was fat before this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 963

You deserved it 18 653