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Oh holy this got published. So, I promise he's not a raging douche. In all honestly, he had gotten a new video game, and I hadn't really heard from him all day. So I sent him a semi-nude picture of myself, and it was then that he responding. We joked around about posting it here, and it got published. I did tell him, however, that I understand he needs gaming time, but shouldn't neglect communication because he's gone for four months for Air Force training and I miss him!

By Anonymous - 21/10/2015 11:40

Today, my soon to be ex-wife told her friends that we're getting a divorce because I'm physically abusive. I guess that sounded better than the truth: that she waited 8 months into her pregnancy to tell me that the child probably isn't even mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 603

You deserved it 1 772

By Anonymous - 16/10/2015 00:57 - United States - Wichita

Today, my husband finally admitted that he squandered the last three months of my share of the rent on booze. He then blamed me, demanded more money, asked for a divorce, and stormed out. When he returned he asked, "How am I the bad guy?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 668

You deserved it 2 284

Be careful what you post on the Internet…

By Anonymous - 26/06/2019 06:13 - Canada - Vaudreuil

Today, my 10-year-old son's friend googled his name and found breastfeeding pictures that I had put on a personal website when he was 2 days old. Now he gets laughed at, and his friends all saw pictures of my breasts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 794

You deserved it 3 838

By Anonymous - 07/10/2015 13:45 - Belgium - Herenthout

Today, I told one of my classmates for the third time that I'm not into guys and wasn't interested in going on a date with him. He just looked at me blankly and said "So I'll pick you up at 9?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 386

You deserved it 2 206

By areyoukiddingme - 01/10/2015 05:56 - United States - Phoenixville

Today, I met my boyfriend's other girlfriend. She then informed me that he has a wife, and that they have an open relationship. Thanks for keeping me in the loop, honey. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 424

You deserved it 2 481

By saracenslament - 22/11/2016 11:47

Today, my relationship with my family is so bad that when someone burst into my house without ringing the doorbell, my first assumption was, "Oh God I hope it's not my mum visiting!" rather than, "Oh God, it's a burglar!" It was actually my mother-in-law, and I was truly relieved. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 731

You deserved it 962

By Anonymous - 16/06/2017 21:00 - Brazil

Today, I decided to drink a tea that I was told is good for regulating the intestine and losing weight. I was drinking it all day. This evening, while on a dinner date with my crush, I suddenly felt some action in my belly and ran to the bathroom. I stayed in there for a half hour and when I finally came out, he was already in the car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 262

You deserved it 2 037

By ThatBackfired - 17/11/2016 15:51

Today, to keep my dog from barking in my ear in the car, I put a buzz collar on him. It worked: he barked once, the collar vibrated, he shut up. Then, his 75 pounds trembling in terror, he pissed himself and all over the back seat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 187

You deserved it 12 466

ThatBackfired tells us more.

ThatBackfired 2

Saturday 19 November 2016 4:10

Wow. This is HILARIOUS. 1) Yes, the collar VIBRATES and nothing else. I shelled out extra for the model that had no shock option whatsoever. The collar does not shock, it does not blast his ears. The second would be useless, since he’s pretty much deaf. I would never use either of those on a dog. Yes, I tried it on myself. I have far more powerful sources of vibration. Yes, I used it previously in training. He didn’t react like this. 2) Unfortunately, his previous owner left him in a crate and forgot about him, so that isn’t an option. 3) He’s good in the car and doesn’t always bark, only when he’s (a) in the car and (b) sees rescue vehicles or other large dogs. That makes it ******* hard to predict when he’s going to bark, and makes positive reinforcement pretty much impossible, since I can’t tell WHILE DRIVING A CAR if he’s seen something and not reacted. And how exactly should I give him a treat, praise, or affection when he’s in the back, I’m in the front, and he can’t hear me? 4) Next time you’re driving, shove an earbud into one ear and tell your passenger that at some point in the drive, they should turn on the MP3 player it’s connected to, which you have preset at maximum volume. Explain to them that this is perfectly safe, and will not distract you at a crucial moment in the drive or cause you any pain whatsoever. Now imagine this happens every time you get into a car with them, and you may understand why I’m trying to train it out of him.

By smoothies14 - 12/09/2015 01:15 - United States - Weatherford

Today, I had a nightmare and woke up terrified, scaring my roommate. What was the dream? That I'd had a panic attack because my box of Honey Nut Cheerios was torn and the bag inside was improperly folded. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 107

You deserved it 4 376

smoothies14 tells us more.

smoothies14 32

Sunday 13 September 2015 6:46

The sad part was there wasn't even a box of cheerios in the room at the time (even though there usually is). I had to go to my food spot and double check anyway so I could sleep.

By Anon - 25/08/2015 10:10 - New Zealand - Auckland

Today, I took a phone call in the bathroom, since the rest of the house was too noisy. I sat down on the toilet and waited while they put me on hold. After a while, I must have forgotten the lid was down and my pants were still on, because I started peeing myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 652

You deserved it 9 155