The Top

The most agreed on FMLs The most commented on FMLs The most favorited

The top of the day The top of the week The top of the month The top of the year The all-time greatest FMLs

With friends like these…

By Anonymous - 25/09/2024 00:00 - United Kingdom - Doncaster

Today, I found out this week that I have a growth in my head that could be cancer. I messaged my closest best friend the news straight away, but she has completely ignored my message. It's now been three days and I've not heard a word from her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 541

You deserved it 80

More fiber

By Anonymous - 27/04/2026 22:00 - Canada - Burlington

Today, after several years of effort in fixing my diet, I finally have consistent, reliable, solid shits, this coming after many decades of loose stools that caused my to clog my toilets regularly with too much toilet paper. Only now, my consistent, reliable, solid shits clog my toilets instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 309

You deserved it 96

In the zone

By fgs - 29/11/2020 23:01

Today, after joking with the guy I've been talking to for 8 months about his plans for my birthday, he told me he didn't want to 'lead me on' and wants to stay friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 787

You deserved it 218

Stranger danger!

By Anonymous - 26/09/2024 16:00 - United States - Flagstaff

Today, I hugged a man I thought was my dad at the airport. It wasn't my dad. The man’s actual family stood nearby, watching me cling to their father for a solid 5 seconds. FML

I agree, your life sucks 167

You deserved it 401

Proud mama

By Anonymous - 02/05/2026 20:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my darling first born 23 year-old son just called me, a single mum who works full time, disgusting because I’ve gained weight and been too busy to go to the gym. He’s living at home and not paying rent, despite working. FML

I agree, your life sucks 466

You deserved it 128

I'm right here

By Anonymous - 04/05/2026 09:00 - United States

Today, I realized that I could strip down butt naked, slather myself in honey, and roll around in $100 bills, and still wouldn’t be able to get my husband’s attention. FML

I agree, your life sucks 399

You deserved it 71

The eternal argument

By Annoyed atheist - 07/05/2023 15:00 - United States

Today, I was watching the episode of New Amsterdam where a man's cancer goes into remission very abruptly. As the doctors wonder how the hell that's possible, my mom says, "God." Okay. So if this "God" controls what happens to your body, why is cancer still a thing? My mom is no longer religious. She's delusional. FML

I agree, your life sucks 682

You deserved it 306

Mind reader

By Anonymous - 03/10/2024 12:00

Today, my wife bitched me out 3 times in a row, for things that were not even my fault: for turning my Xbox on, even though I only nudged the button accidentally with my toe; opening a beer when it was actually a Pepsi for our son, and walking loudly when I "know she has a headache," which I didn’t. FML

I agree, your life sucks 502

You deserved it 140

Torn

By Anonymous - 09/05/2026 00:00 - United States - Gypsum

Today, I found out my husband texted his ex-wife, all the while I've had a torn rotator cuff for a year, which I will finally be getting surgery on in three weeks. He twisted his shoulder last week while installing a toilet and suddenly the world is ending, his pain is all encompassing. I also have Lupus since 2017. FML

I agree, your life sucks 307

You deserved it 111

Way too transparent

By Louise - 07/10/2024 09:00 - United States

Today, I got a friend of mine, who I also like, a present for his birthday. When I gave him the present, he winced and told me, “Thanks, this is sweet and all, but I only like you as a friend.” I haven’t even told him how I felt or anything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 450

You deserved it 175

Consolation Prize

By Anonymous - 13/05/2026 15:00 - United States

Today, a guy who I was low-key crushing on asked me out. I excitedly told my best friend, as I do when I have big news. She informed me that the same guy asked her out 15 minutes ago. He'd originally been into her and only came to me because she rejected him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 424

You deserved it 76

Bling

By Elisha - 13/10/2024 09:00 - United States - Bakersfield

Today, I spent five hours extracting gold flakes from river sand. When I took it to the pawn shop, the dealer laughed in my face and said it was Fool's Gold. FML

I agree, your life sucks 131

You deserved it 517

Manipulation demon

By Cal - 18/05/2026 03:00 - United States

Today, I convinced my daughter to tell my wife that the coworker she’s been getting a bit too close to lately touched her inappropriately so she’d stop interacting with him. After arguing and confrontation between the four of us, my daughter threw me under the bus and told them the truth. Now they’re all mad at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 69

You deserved it 1 110

Contact tracing

By Anonymous - 15/12/2020 22:58 - United States - Mechanicsburg

Today, I woke up to a text from my girlfriend telling me to call when I wake up. Turns out she had one of her friends over who tested positive for Covid and I was just at her house, so now I’m forced to quarantine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 979

You deserved it 260

Applause at 8

By ThisIsYourDoc - 18/05/2023 06:00 - Switzerland - Worb

Today, I work at a rural hospital where personnel is so short-staffed that we have to take double shifts without time to prepare food at home, and the place is too small to have a place to order food from. I lived off of sandwiches the entire week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 741

You deserved it 119

High expectations

By Anonymous - 13/02/2022 02:01

Today, I got broken up with by a professional clown who lives with his elderly parents and doesn’t have a car. This is definitely a low point. FML

I agree, your life sucks 926

You deserved it 388

He's fine

By kenz - 17/12/2020 20:01

Today, I wanted my boyfriend to come over for a backyard wiener roast. Because it was so hot outside, he told me he didn't want to. Eventually, I talked him into it telling him it would be fine. He's now still asleep on the couch with heat stroke. FML

I agree, your life sucks 286

You deserved it 1 264

I'm so tired

By Raven - 18/10/2024 16:00 - United Kingdom - Sheffield

Today, I was so tired at work that I stared at the microwave waiting for my food. It was a full minute before I realized I'd never actually turned it on after I'd put the food in it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 338

You deserved it 147

You calling me ugly, lady?

By Anonymous - 20/10/2024 14:00 - Australia

Today, the passport office lady asked, “You really wanna use THAT photo? Passports are valid for 10 years you know.” I thought it was a great photo of myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 440

You deserved it 106

Body issues

By Anonymous - 27/05/2026 09:00 - South Africa - Brakpan

Today, while I'm in the depths of postpartum blues and insecurities, my grandmother in-law gifted me a size 22 pair of jeans that does not fit her. I'm a size 12. I started crying and fake choked so that nobody would notice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 364

You deserved it 87

Can you be a little more specific?

By Anonymous - 28/05/2023 10:00

Today, I'm pretty sure I destroyed a friendship irreparably. I was trying to do a nice thing, but it backfired in an awful way. I know it's my fault. I really wanted to be that person's friend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 554

You deserved it 340

Classic brainworms

By Anonymous - 23/10/2024 00:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I was talking to someone on the phone, and then I panicked because I couldn't find it, searching for it while speaking on the phone, asking them to call it. It wasn't until they started laughing did I realise that it was up against my ear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 137

You deserved it 464

Mommy issues

By Anonymous - 29/05/2026 22:00 - United States - Riverside

Today, I brought a girl back to my place. She commented on how neat and clean everything was for a bachelor. I absentmindedly said, “Yeah, my mom comes over and cleans three times a week.” She made a face like I'd just told her I eat puppies or something, then made an excuse to leave. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57

You deserved it 1 037

Merry Christmas

By Jules - 23/12/2020 11:01 - Germany

Today, I'm unemployed and just had to move. My country’s unemployment agency considers that the ideal moment to invite me for a talk about my job search activities is smack dab in the middle of Christmas vacation, while I’m still busy unpacking moving boxes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 768

You deserved it 186

What is wrong with me?

By Anonymous - 02/03/2022 10:00 - United States - Steele

Today, I realized that if I consume caffeine in any way, shape, or form, it exacerbates my insomnia to the point that sleeping for more than two hours in the night is impossible. I'm not even sure if that's the actual cause. I don't know what's wrong with me anymore, and my anxiety-ridden brain is milking it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 802

You deserved it 154

Wonky logic

By Anonymous - 25/10/2024 15:00 - United States

Today, I got my ass beat by some kid in my grade. The reason I was targeted? The superintendent, aka my idiot father, suspended him for defending himself in another fight. The kid told me it's not personal, he needed to prove a point that our school doesn't do shit about bullying, As much as I agree with him… FML

I agree, your life sucks 579

You deserved it 94

Family matters

By Anonymous - 31/05/2026 12:00 - United States - Graham

Today, I found out that my uncle, who is still married to my aunt, is trying to seduce my mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 410

You deserved it 61

Social gatherings make me nervous

By Dog lady - 27/10/2024 18:00 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, I went to a friend's wedding and was seated at a table with a bunch of strangers. To break the ice, I told a funny story about my dog. Turns out one of the guests is an animal behaviorist and spent the next hour explaining how I’ve been raising him all wrong. Thanks for the unsolicited advice during cocktail hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 457

You deserved it 216

Good grief

By Saddie - 04/06/2026 03:00 - Germany - Frankfurt am Main

Today, the man I loved broke up with me, because he felt like his feelings for me were not enough for a serious relationship. As much as I'm thankful that he didn't drag me along, this hurts like hell. FML

I agree, your life sucks 381

You deserved it 86

Another non-emergency

By Anonymous - 29/10/2024 20:00 - United States

Today, I went on a date, and halfway through I started getting nonstop calls from “Mom” on my phone. Annoyed, I silenced them. Later, I checked my voicemail. It was actually my mom calling from the ER because she had slipped and broken her ankle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 131

You deserved it 664

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Dad jokes Kids Argument Money Health Neighbours Sleep Mental health Embarrassing Intimacy NSFW Family Alcohol Transportation Miscellaneous Birthday Cute I need your advice Relatable Love Sex Friends My ex Awkward Scary Technology Annoying Work Capitalism Divorce

The Top

Today, upon arriving at a town festival, I was immediately singled out by a rent-a-cop. He began questioning if I had been drinking, saying he smelt it on my breath. He smelt his own breath. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 514

You deserved it 3 134

Today, my mother finally pressured me to wear my old helmet while riding my bike. Halfway through my ride, 3 spiders came crawling out of it and onto my face, causing me to lose control of the bike and crash head-first. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 674

You deserved it 7 922

Today, my mom’s house has several comfortable places to rest in every room. For the cats and dogs, that is. Unfortunately for me, I'm a human. FML

I agree, your life sucks 699

You deserved it 134

Today, I found out that I have Dysarthria, a condition where you can't pronounce certain words. I can't even pronounce the condition. FML

I agree, your life sucks 842

You deserved it 70

Today, my son took his very first steps. Unfortunately, it was during my sister's wedding. She had a full-blown bridezilla meltdown over how he "stole her spotlight". FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 776

You deserved it 177

Today, while at work in a medical office, I had the itchiest and most distracting bug bite. I went the supply closet and got an alcohol cleansing wipe to help cool it off. It worked great but I was then fired for theft for using what costs less than a tenth of a cent. FML

I agree, your life sucks 666

You deserved it 114