The Top

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Heavy duty

By Anonymous - 05/06/2022 12:00

Today, my husband has destroyed 4 mattresses in 6 years, not through accidental fires or anything, not even through vigorous sex, it’s just that his 24-stone bulk crushes the springs, wears divots in the memory foam, and eventually splits the fabric so the stuffing leaks out. Every time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 787

You deserved it 221

What is wrong with me?

By Anonymous - 04/02/2025 09:00 - United States

Today, after I randomly started having mild stomach rumbling in the mornings, I went to the hospital and the doctor simply told me that I had to eat more, I took his advice but it didn't work. Now I’m 6 hospital visits down the line and my stomach is so loud the sounds made could fill a hall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 392

You deserved it 76

By fuckingjesusgran - 07/05/2013 22:13 - Bosnia and Herzegovina - Sarajevo

Today, while driving my grandma home from a family dinner, I had to pull into a gas station, because my tank was almost empty. She became convinced that someone would kidnap her while I went to pay, and eventually threatened to blow us up by tossing her lighter at the gas pumps. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 224

You deserved it 3 568

Deadlines whooshing by

By Anonymous - 11/03/2021 21:30 - United States - Putney

Today, my Computer Science professor posted an assignment that's due right before our Monday class… on Monday morning. I wouldn't have even thought to check for assignments this morning if he hadn't done the same thing last week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 015

You deserved it 88

The truth of the matter

By Anonymous - 03/02/2025 00:00 - United States - New York

Today, I found out that the high school program that I was forced into, which kept me in school until I turned 21, was caused by my mom. She put me in the program without telling me and when I first learned about it, she pretended not to know anything so I wouldn't be mad at her. That was 10 years ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 514

You deserved it 120

Rip it up and start again

By Anonymous - 04/05/2022 10:00

Today, I had to borrow my mom’s car to jump-start my battery-dead car. I got everything set up and it worked. Parked my mom’s car back into her spot, went into my car. And turned it off. Now I have to do it all again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 348

You deserved it 962

Alexa, play "Communication Breakdown" by Led Zeppelin

By Anonymous - 28/08/2023 04:00

Today, I've always needed to share stories about things that made me upset to my boyfriend, and I thought he was my safe place to do so. I've always talked to him, and so has he. If he got upset, he'd tell me what's bothering him. Now he says he doesn't like it because I always talk to him about it. Now I have no one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 538

You deserved it 215

Get lucky, sound of the summer

By Anonymous - 08/02/2025 03:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my date went off on a 30 minute tangent about how MGTOW is going to be good for society and blah blah blah. He was going to get lucky tonight, as I really wanted some dick to be honest, but he talked himself out of any chance whatsoever by boring me to death. FML

I agree, your life sucks 336

You deserved it 220

By over prtective father - 24/06/2014 04:35 - United States - Washington

Today, it became apparent that my father knows more about my boyfriend than I do because he spends so much time interrogating him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 648

You deserved it 5 561

Vintage cars

By Jeff Again - 03/09/2023 00:02 - United States

Today, I thought I'd be a suave gentleman by opening the car door for my date. The handle came off in my hand, and I had to spend the next 15 minutes pretending I was doing an impromptu repair on my piece of shit car, when I had no idea what I was doing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 592

You deserved it 224

Haggling wars

By Jules - 05/09/2023 04:00 - Germany

Today, at the grocery store, the scanner at the register gave a higher price for a product than the price tag on the shelf. Apparently I was the one being unreasonable for insisting to pay the price advertised on the shelf, and not some secret price they never told me about. FML

I agree, your life sucks 732

You deserved it 121

Worst workplace ever

By maya - 29/03/2021 20:01

Today, while I was wearing a blue coat, a coworker asked me what color my coat was. Confused, I said, “...blue?” He and my other coworkers burst out screaming with laughter. Turns out he didn’t say ‘coat’ but ‘poop’. I work with a bunch of five year-olds. FML

I agree, your life sucks 874

You deserved it 107

Blackstone salivating

By Anonymous - 07/09/2023 20:00 - United States - Staten Island

Today, I learned that the IBS that several doctors have been misdiagnosing me with for 10 years is actually IBD, which is not only infinitely worse, but it's gotten to the point where surgery might be in my immediate future. FML

I agree, your life sucks 665

You deserved it 71

Ripper

By Pantess at work - 30/03/2021 23:00 - United States

Today, at work, the seat of my pants ripped open. A coworker lent me a pair of his back-up jeans, and then those ripped in the crotch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 913

You deserved it 153

Perfect performance

By I hate myself - 02/03/2025 22:00 - United States

Today, I walked into a café for the first time, and as I opened the door, I slammed it into the face of a poor barista. Embarrassed, I tried to apologize while holding the door open for a woman behind me, only to have my hand slip and the door crash into her as well. I then stood there, frozen, as both of them just stared at me as I apologized with, "I swear I'm not a moron." FML

I agree, your life sucks 399

You deserved it 115

Needs a follow up

By Anonymous - 18/09/2023 00:02

Today, I was told the reason for me getting evicted without notice is because I unnecessarily threw a fit that the dog my roommate got wasn't the one I wanted. I pointed out my anaphylaxis to my landlord and she asked, "That’s hypochondria, right?" I’m still getting evicted without notice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 683

You deserved it 163

Five second rule

By Sore - 05/03/2025 00:00 - United States

Today, I tried to get a Chloraseptic tablet for my sore throat. As soon as I put it in my mouth, I got the urge to sneeze. When I sneezed, the force of the sneeze caused me to accidentally spit it out… right into the trash. FML

I agree, your life sucks 342

You deserved it 104

Compassion

By BadFriend - 05/04/2021 02:00 - United States

Today, my best friend is giving me the silent treatment and has blocked me on Facebook. All because I missed her 30th birthday dinner at The Cheesecake Factory. I’d gotten into a car accident earlier and had to be treated for minor injuries in the ER. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 262

You deserved it 102

He's too old for this noise

By Anonymous - 22/09/2023 22:00

Today, my son was crying and my dad's way of helping was to go to the pub for an hour, then come back after my son had cried himself to sleep. I’d have kicked him out but he does a lot of other things around here, and I couldn’t cope without him. It doesn’t stop him being an insensitive prick. FML

I agree, your life sucks 264

You deserved it 928

Irritation

By Anonymous - 11/03/2025 15:00 - United States - Chicago

Today, I have family over and even though they can see I'm stepping away to go take a shower, instead of interacting with my child who they supposedly love, they ignore her to the point where she comes crying to the bathroom door. So now I gotta move quicker? FML

I agree, your life sucks 404

You deserved it 197

What logic is that?

By Anonymous - 01/07/2022 16:00

Today, my parents lectured me on whether it was a good idea to let my girlfriend stay at the home of her ex boyfriend… and his husband. I’m 44 and trust her. My parents didn’t trust this logic and doubled down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 796

You deserved it 324

By aww, such a nice guy. NOT - 25/05/2014 17:46 - United States - Dodge City

Today, the previously charming guy I've been seeing for the past two weeks tried to introduce a weekly sex quota into our relationship. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 437

You deserved it 6 663

By loser - 19/10/2009 17:43 - United States

Today, while in class, a cute boy came up and asked me for my number. I giggled and wrote my phone number on a piece of paper and told him to call me sometime. He gave me a weird look and walked away. He was asking which number math problem I needed help with. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 544

You deserved it 35 022

Fun for all the family

By Anonymous - 14/04/2021 02:00

Today, my mom and dad got into a fight, during which my dad said to my mom that her health conditions were of her own doing. Because of that, I got pissed and had a fight with my dad, taking my mom's side. Turns out, my mom took his side and ratted me out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 797

You deserved it 291

Help!

By Anonymous - 19/03/2025 03:00 - United States

Today, I went about pet-proofing my house because my new kitten is exploring every nook and cranny. I locked up everything dangerous. Then, while trying to put a safety lock on the pantry/cold room, I managed to lock myself inside. I had to yell for my roommate to let me out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 197

You deserved it 387

Cursed

By Freddie - 25/03/2025 15:00 - United States - Chattanooga

Today, I went on my first date in months. It was going well until the waiter brought our drinks. I went to take a sip of my cocktail, but I misjudged the size of the glass and the stupid paper straw, and spilled it all over myself. The waiter said, “Well, at least it’s not a first date curse,” and I replied, “Oh, it definitely is.” It was, because I doubt I'll be seeing her again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 333

You deserved it 143

Homesick

By Anonymous - 27/03/2025 12:00 - India

Today, it's my birthday, the first one in my college life. No one knew, and no one wished me. It’s fine, I guess. But as I sat alone in my room, I could hear laughter and cheers from hall they were celebrating someone else’s birthday. I tried not to care, but deep down, I felt little envious, and a little lonely. FML

I agree, your life sucks 337

You deserved it 379

Trading places

By Anonymous - 29/03/2025 22:00 - United States

Today, I had to comfort my husband after he had a dream in which both his parents died. He was really upset. Both my parents are dead… in real life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 439

You deserved it 123

Where is my mind?

By Anonymous - 01/04/2025 09:00 - United States - Dallas

Today, after softball practice, I could not find my car keys. Emptied my bag completely, no keys. Called a locksmith but he never showed up. Walked across the street to ask the fire department if they could help. After they got into my car, I found them. In my bag. Caught in my scorebook. The fireman just laughed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 172

You deserved it 364

Used car, one careful owner

By Anonymous - 25/04/2021 05:01 - United States - High Springs

Today, after searching online and in the newspaper for an affordable used vehicle, I finally came across one that wasn't a scam or the seller lying about the actual condition of the vehicle. It was legit and and sold about 10 minutes after the seller gave me his info for me to go look at it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 891

You deserved it 101

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The Top

Today, I listened to my best friend complain, again, about the two guys she's seeing, and how she doesn't know which one to choose, because they're both perfect. Meanwhile, I'm cleaning up my dog's loose stools, haven't had a date in over three years, and I'm also sharing a room with the very same best friend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 342

You deserved it 2 011

Today, I had a job interview that I was quite nervous about. During the interview, I struggled to get my words out and the interviewer angrily told me to, "Get on with it." I continued to struggle and was later kicked out for wasting their time. I have a stutter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 883

You deserved it 4 118

Today, I accidentally deleted my entire email inbox. Everything from the last 3 years. EV-ER-Y-THING. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 507

You deserved it 56 333

Today, I went to therapy. Previously, I had been given the task to write a list of things I hate about myself so my doctor could see what we needed to work on. I gave her the list, and she simply said, "Wow, I've never had someone give me such a long list." I had 55 items on the list. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 860

You deserved it 282

Today, my son is so rabid for Halloween this year that he decided to dress up early and do his own Incredible Hulk makeup. He used a green permanent marker he stole from school. It’s all over him from head to foot, and my carpet, sofa, bathtub, and even the cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 490

You deserved it 96

Today, I went on an online date. I'd spent a while getting ready and making sure I looked good. When I arrived at the café, I saw my date and approached with a smile. He stood up, looked me over, and said, "Oh, I thought you were your profile picture’s friend." Then left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 537

You deserved it 272