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By ihatemondays - 23/08/2012 06:15 - United Kingdom

Today, I discovered that it's an hour and 45 minutes quicker to get the bus to work, rather than the train. I've worked there for six years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 633

You deserved it 14 343

Feeders

By Anonymous - 16/11/2020 23:01

Today, my boyfriend of 5 years dumped me, after he intentionally made me fat so that I wouldn't leave him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 771

You deserved it 1 008

Mummy's boy

By anon - 16/09/2024 22:00 - Australia

Today, for some reason, I called my boss "Mum" in a meeting. To make it worse, I panicked and followed it up with, “Can I have a raise?” Everyone laughed except my boss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 160

You deserved it 441

Link?

By Anonymous - 26/04/2023 03:00

Today, while sprinting, I tripped, fell, and somehow managed to kick myself in the balls. Legs shouldn’t bend like that and I’m frankly amazed I didn’t break my knee. My wife got the whole thing on video too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 693

You deserved it 145

OK then

By Anonymous - 20/09/2024 14:00 - United States

Today, my girlfriend found the engagement ring I'd bought. She looked at it and said, "This is pathetic. You shouldn't even bother." FML

I agree, your life sucks 666

You deserved it 95

Teeth gang!

By pridekills - 19/08/2012 04:19 - United States - Mulberry

Today, my coworker told me I should stop smoking cigarettes because it makes my breath "smell like shit" and makes my teeth look as yellow as corn. I've never smoked a cigarette in my life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 208

You deserved it 9 028

Unfinished sympathy

By Anonymous - 22/09/2024 16:00 - United Kingdom - Cardiff

Today, I walked into the office bathroom and saw my manager in tears. I tried to comfort her and gave her a hug. Turns out, she wasn’t crying, she was having a sneezing fit, and looked horrified at my sympathy hug. FML

I agree, your life sucks 201

You deserved it 415

Late arrival

By juniper - 11/03/2022 18:00

Today, I had a presentation at 8 a.m. that was worth 30% of my grade. Unfortunately, someone decided to text me at the exact moment my alarm should’ve gone off, so it didn’t. My body doesn’t naturally wake up until 3 p.m. FML

I agree, your life sucks 552

You deserved it 949

Soft as snow

By Anonymous - 25/09/2024 20:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I discovered why my new boyfriend likes his sex slow and loving, like super slow. It’s because, despite being in shape, he’s so unfit that if he tries to go hard and fast he struggles to breathe and passes out on top of me. Guess my love life is limited to one mile an hour now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 508

You deserved it 213

By Anonymous - 16/08/2012 06:33 - United States

Today, my mom asked me if I had any plans to go out tonight. To divert attention, I pretended to be angry and accused her of prying into my social life. Actually, I have no social life and nobody to go out with. My only "big plans" were to finish my Sudoku book. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 148

You deserved it 24 225

Technologically challenged

By Anonymous - 27/11/2020 10:58 - Singapore - Singapore

Today, during my Zoom PTM my teacher screen-shared his Chrome tab, in which he had opened porn instead of the presentation he had to open, and now mom wants to change my school, where I've been studying in for past 10 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 027

You deserved it 145

The agony and the ecstasy

By Anonymous - 01/05/2023 12:00

Today, I got home from my vacation. The last few days of my trip, I stayed at my father's house. I was having trouble sleeping last night so I decided to use a little "discreet" vibrator that I travel with. When I unpacked back home, I realized I'd forgotten the vibrator in my bed at my father's house. I'm mortified. FML

I agree, your life sucks 519

You deserved it 1 088

Stranded and lonely

By Anonymous - 27/09/2024 00:00 - United States - Boise

Today, all I want is someone to talk to. The only person who ever responds is my ex-fiance who cheated on me. Multiple times. FML

I agree, your life sucks 416

You deserved it 120

By failbaby - 02/06/2009 06:18 - United States

Today, I heard a baby crying while I was walking down the street. I walked around until I found it. In a dumpster. I immediately called the cops, completely freaking out. When the cops came, they pulled the baby out of the dumpster. It was a plastic baby doll. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 574

You deserved it 24 221

Alexa, play "Glad to be Unhappy" by The Mamas & The Papas

By Anonymous - 29/11/2020 05:02

Today, my ex told me he never wanted to talk to me again, because of how annoying I am. I’m still madly in love with him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 687

You deserved it 556

By lebowski - 28/11/2010 01:57 - United States

Today, my 5 year old brother wanted to look through my phone. I know he can't read so I gave it to him. He was, however, able to get at my "private" photo album. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 790

You deserved it 41 623

No-life

By Anonymous - 03/12/2020 20:01

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me because he wanted to spend alone time playing FIFA instead of having a relationship. If I ever find the CEO of EA Sports, I’m throwing hands. FML

I agree, your life sucks 858

You deserved it 273

Big Brother

By Anonymous - 11/02/2022 16:00

Today, and lately, my dad has an annoying habit of knowing where I’ve been, even though I never go anywhere worth mentioning. On a hunch, I checked my phone and it turns out he’s been tracking my location. I’ve literally done nothing to deserve this lack of trust, and now I think I hate him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 212

You deserved it 218

Territorial Pissings

By El Camino - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I parked in a different lot because the one I usually park in was full. When I came back later, a bumper sticker was stuck to the windshield that said, "INCONSIDERATE F***, DON'T PARK HERE AGAIN!" To make matters worse, it was stuck on with a special type of glue, so it can't be removed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 668

You deserved it 5 179

Gamers rise up

By marie - 03/12/2020 08:02 - United States - San Jose

Today, after a stressful day at work, I just wanted to go home and play video games. And then I broke my thumb. FML

I agree, your life sucks 956

You deserved it 164

Take your medication

By my brain sucks! - 10/03/2022 22:00

Today, I’ve been getting my ass handed to me by my anxiety for nearly a year. I talked to my doctor about starting meds. I got so terrified of the possible side effects that I not only had an anxiety attack, I also had a panic attack. I still couldn’t bring myself to take the pills. FML

I agree, your life sucks 945

You deserved it 259

I can't believe it's not better

By Anonymous - 04/10/2024 20:00 - United States - Leesburg

Today, I found out that my boyfriend (who is autistic just like me) was cheating on me. When I asked him why he would do this, considering he’s the type of guy who cannot stand being single, he said, and I quote, “I feel like I deserve better.” He’s now my ex, and is yet again complaining about being single. FML

I agree, your life sucks 554

You deserved it 125

Family man

By Anonymous - 09/05/2026 03:00 - United States

Today, my parents disowned me because I threw out my wife and son after I found out that the kid wasn't mine. According to them, I'm a "heartless asshole." FML

I agree, your life sucks 474

You deserved it 238

Hell no

By Anonymous - 30/05/2009 05:07 - United States

Today, I got into my first car accident. Extremely upset, I called my parents, because it was their car and I didn't know what to do. I told them what happened, and asked if they were on their way to where I was. My dad's response was, "Hell no, we're eating dinner." FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 109

You deserved it 8 947

That took a dark turn…

By lukey101 - 16/12/2020 16:58 - Australia - Caboolture

Today, I asked a colleague what part of town he was from. After explaining, he went on to say how much his wife loved the house and its location. That was of course until she died and soiled herself in their bed one night, which he didn't realise until the next morning. Sorry for asking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 966

You deserved it 164

Wandering star

By Anonymous - 19/03/2022 02:00 - United States - Altamonte Springs

Today, I thought my parents were divorcing over money, but it turns out the real reason is that my dad has been cheating for two years with a 20 year-old girl from his work. He only told my mom two months ago, after he got the girl pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 904

You deserved it 149

AITA?

By mattie - 16/05/2023 03:00 - United States - Montgomery

Today, the guy I was talking to for about 3 years, started dating in December, and was super happy about it, told my friends, and he told me he loved me within the first week, has now broken up with me. All because I "said I love you too quickly." He said it first and now his friends think I'm batshit crazy. Is he a dick or am I overreacting? FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 060

You deserved it 140

Cuties

By Anonymous - 07/12/2020 02:02

Today, I shaved my penis and balls. When my girlfriend saw, she said, "You look like my little brother." He's 6 years-old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 938

You deserved it 481

Parasocial relationship

By Having some mental health issues - 17/02/2022 02:00

Today, I’m so lonely and sick of living that I wish my fictional comfort character was real, only so someone would hug me and tell me I’ll be okay, even if they were lying. FML

I agree, your life sucks 976

You deserved it 191

Benefits

By Anonymous - 13/05/2026 20:00 - Poland

Today, after years of no sex, a friend of mine told me she would like some benefits. I got too excited and came before even putting it in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 367

You deserved it 178

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The Top

Today, I asked my girlfriend's father if I could marry his daughter. He smiled, shook my hand, and said "No. Now get out of my house." FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 444

You deserved it 4 863

Today, my husband of three years told me he only proposed to me because his favorite football team was winning and he had been drunk. I had our second child three days ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 93 566

You deserved it 5 337

Today, I was on my way to meet some friends for lunch. As I was parking, one of their cell phones accidentally called mine. As I walked to the restaurant, I listened in as some of my best friends discussed all the things they hate about me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 88 179

You deserved it 5 119

Today, I fell and impaled my leg on a steel rod at work. The first guy to respond to my agonised cry for help must’ve been a total moron because he thought it was a prank and yanked on the rod to see how it worked. Then he asked if I did it on purpose to get a day off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 855

You deserved it 227

Today, even three months after seeing 'Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan', I can’t think about anything or anyone except Saavik anymore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 308

You deserved it 564

Today, I got stung by a bee on the tip top of my penis. No one understands why I am limping. FML

I agree, your life sucks 963

You deserved it 367