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Hey guys, OP here (: I was so excited to hear that this got published!! Thank you for all your feedback, even the ones saying I deserved what happened. I believe due explanations are in order. First of all: I wasn't the one who lit the Cheetos on fire, that was courtesy of my older brother. He saw a post on iFunny saying that Cheetos are flammable, so, naturally he felt the need to see which flavor of Cheetos burned the fastest. He then he ran into my room to show me his discovery, waving a flaming Cheeto around proudly. I'm assuming you can guess what happened next.

By bethanygirl - 29/10/2011 19:46 - United States

Today, I had to cancel my birthday party because of snow. It's October. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 727

You deserved it 5 058

By Anonymous - 31/12/2010 21:49 - United States

Today, my mother woke me up and asked to borrow money. Still groggy, I mumbled where my money stash was. She took all $300 and refuses to pay me back because I'm her son and I "owe" her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 272

You deserved it 6 796

Act your age

By notthatoldyet - 09/12/2021 10:59

Today, I was reliving my youth watching videos of *NSYNC on YouTube, when a suggested ad popped up for “Haircuts for women over 50.” I’m only 27. FML

I agree, your life sucks 690

You deserved it 303

Take it easy

By rapunzelsvaghair - 06/03/2023 06:00

Today, I flicked the bean so hard I fainted. I was in the shower and ended up coming to a few seconds later. I’m now too traumatized to use my vibrator. FML

I agree, your life sucks 876

You deserved it 570

Off script

By Going hungry - 29/07/2024 00:00 - United States

Today, my fiancee asked me to text her a grocery list. I asked for meat, fruit, vegetables, you know, the staples. She came back with tons of sugar cereal, pop tarts, cookie dough, and other unhealthy crap. We have no other food, our monthly budget is gone, and junk food gives me horrible stomach cramps. FML

I agree, your life sucks 525

You deserved it 189

Incel fantasy

By April - 22/02/2026 00:00

Today, I hard launched the guy I’ve been dating online. The guy who’s still mad that I friendzoned him commented, “See if he gives you rides, a shoulder to cry on, brings you food, and lets you copy assignments like I did for a year.” My now-ex dumped me and called me “heartless” for “using that poor guy.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 139

You deserved it 654

Free market, amirite?

By Anonymous - 08/01/2022 11:01

Today, I work in HR and last week we'd hired an apprentice for our repair shop. He was great. I spent $500 company dollars on his uniform. Later, he called me saying he had been offered a job paying $10 more an hour than what we were offering, as much as our experienced workers make. I either have to match it, or be out a helper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 469

You deserved it 1 125

By silkworm - 24/06/2009 06:44 - United States

Today, I got an invitation in the mail for my dad's third wedding. My first name was misspelled on the envelope. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 977

You deserved it 2 766

Benefits

By Anonymous - 03/01/2022 11:01

Today, I laid out my feelings to my friend with benefits, and asked if we could get together and talk. Now I'm being ignored, and my heart is shattered. I always fall for Mr Wrong. FML

I agree, your life sucks 588

You deserved it 1 138

Wow thanks, I'm cured

By LillyLogan - 05/08/2024 20:00 - United States - Dorchester

Today, I went to a pain specialist to get help with my chronic pain. He did not diagnose anything or discuss causes. He then said, "Good luck with that" as I left. Of course, I still got billed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 459

You deserved it 84

Surprise!

By Anonymous - 19/03/2023 16:00 - United Kingdom - Newcastle

Today, I wanted to surprise my boyfriend by showing up at his place unannounced with some take-out food. I got there just in time to see him leave his block of flats with another girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 120

You deserved it 122

Tasty

By Anonymous - 18/03/2023 18:00

Today, I found out that my kids played around with a bunch of caterpillars they'd found in the yard, then informed me they'd eaten a few. I then had to scramble to Google "Is this kind of caterpillar poisonous?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 086

You deserved it 203

The walls have ears

By Anonymous - 09/08/2024 14:00 - United Kingdom - Manchester

Today, while sitting at a table in a coffee shop, I overheard someone on the next table talking about their horrible boss. I joined in, complaining about mine, and going into great detail about what an arsehole he can be. Turns out, I was talking to my boss's sister. FML

I agree, your life sucks 122

You deserved it 702

Christmas gifts

By not a thief - 24/12/2021 01:59

Today, while I was home sick from work, my neighbor got packages delivered. Our apartments have had a lot of thefts lately so, being neighborly, I brought her stuff inside to wait. When she came home, I gave them right to her. Instead of thanking me, she told the office that I was the thief all along. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 247

You deserved it 148

Nice try

By Anonymous - 21/03/2023 04:00 - United States - New York

Today, I told my boss that my grandma died to get a day off work, but then my grandma showed up at the office looking for me because she wanted to go shopping. FML

I agree, your life sucks 119

You deserved it 2 008

Dad jokes

By Anonymous - 22/08/2013 17:56 - Philippines - Dasmarinas

Today, it's my last day before I get my colonoscopy. I've been on a strict chicken broth and jello diet in preparation. My dad thought it would be hilarious to drag me out to one of the best restaurants in town just so I could watch everyone else eat their delicious meals. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 562

You deserved it 3 164

Caught in 4K

By tanksfan - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - India

Today, after secretly smoking for more than two years, I decided to quit. I came home from work to see my wife holding a pack and asking me what was it doing behind the toilet seat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 489

You deserved it 42 556

Flying disaster

By Anonymous - 24/03/2023 14:00 - United Kingdom - Manchester

Today, I was on a plane when I had to use the bathroom. While pulling up my pants, the flush button got stuck and the water kept running. I tried to fix it, but ended up flooding the bathroom and the aisle. The attendants had to give me a towel and escort me back to my seat with everyone on the plane staring at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 864

You deserved it 144

By Beegee - 21/08/2013 04:40 - United States - Denver

Today, I got a speeding ticket. I couldn't find my insurance card, and the cop was very nice. He said not to worry about it, that I "looked like someone who had insurance." I'm not sure how to take that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 573

You deserved it 7 417

Glitterati

By Anonymous - 22/03/2023 12:00

Today, my girlfriend and her friends mocked my "fragile masculinity" because I bought men's body wash instead of sharing her body wash. Her body wash is full of glitter, which irritates my skin horribly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 912

You deserved it 124

Play that Blink 182 song

By Mommys boy - 16/08/2024 12:00 - Australia

Today, I got a text from a number I didn’t recognize that said, "I miss you." Assuming it was my mom and her new phone, I replied, "Miss you too, love you!" Turns out it was my new boss, checking to see if I’d be able to work an extra shift. Even though it was her text that was badly worded, I'm now known as the person who declared her love to the boss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 200

You deserved it 408

Keep me out of this

By Anonymous - 11/03/2026 22:00

Today, I found out I can't go to Los Angeles to visit my grandparents for spring break like I'd planned because my asshole dad got some sort of court order preventing me from leaving the state. He and my mom are in a custody battle over me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 492

You deserved it 78

Chores? Run!

By FML Videos - 08/11/2018 18:30

You can run, but you can't hide...

I agree, your life sucks 263

You deserved it 72

RIP MIL

By Anonymous - 14/03/2026 20:00

Today, my mother-in-law died but my husband still insists that we go on our family spring break vacation. I don't want to because I loved my MIL and our kids are absolutely distraught and don't want to go anymore, plus we would miss the funeral if we went. But he refuses to cancel or postpone. He's being selfish. FML

I agree, your life sucks 432

You deserved it 89

By Stevski - 11/09/2012 15:08 - Australia - Port Macquarie

Today, after moving in with a couple of vegan zoologists a few weeks ago, I discover that they don't believe that we have the right to kill cockroaches, and will not allow me to do so. The house is infested, and it's spread to my bedroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 312

You deserved it 4 031

By Anonymous - 19/12/2010 00:14 - United States

Today, trying to be romantic, I started giving my boyfriend a neck massage. He gave me a weirded-out look, removed my hand, called me creep, and wouldn't let me touch him for the rest of the day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 176

You deserved it 4 747

Bye!

By coco - 18/06/2009 05:10 - Canada

Today, I was on a very crowded bus, standing near the back door. People had to get off at the stop, and being near the door, I had to step off the bus, allowing the people to exit. I was about to enter back into the bus, the door closed and the bus driver took off, leaving me stranded. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 992

You deserved it 5 961

FML on Facebook

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Today, I crawled into bed with my boyfriend. He was snoring loudly which is how I knew he was passed out cold. Once I was under the blanket next to him, he slowly turned over, stared me straight in the face and said, "I have to kill you". Then started snoring again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 957

You deserved it 4 345

Today, I went on a blind date. My date turned out to be very hot, and I had high hopes. That is, until she ran her hand through her hair as she approached, sending some kind of horrifying, miasmic mist of dandruff and dead skin floating through the air behind her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 217

You deserved it 8 150

Today, I found out that the reason I hadn't gotten pregnant yet was because my husband had a vasectomy after the birth of his son. He even had the nerve to continously tell me, "it'll happen soon, baby" and let me believe we were trying. FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 538

You deserved it 4 002

Today, it was the first day of my job at a kindergarten. A boy fell over in the playground, so I ran over to see if he was OK. He got up and had a huge red mark on the side of his face. Shocked, I yelled "Oh my god, your face!" Turns out it's a very large port-wine birthmark and now he won't stop crying. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 887

You deserved it 15 670

Today, I thought babysitting my nephew would be easy. WRONG. He put his wet teddy on the space heater to dry, and caused a fire. While I was putting the fire out, he decided to wash his burnt teddy in the sink, which blocked the plug and flooded my kitchen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 095

You deserved it 283

Today, I was gonna take my ex to a concert, but we broke up before it so instead I went with my Tinder date. When I got to the venue, my ticket was already used. My ex was in there. My date never got in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 290

You deserved it 526