The Top

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The top of the day The top of the week The top of the month The top of the year The all-time greatest FMLs

Where? Why? What?

By Get a grip, mom - 02/01/2023 00:00 - United States

Today, I've been sitting here for what seems like an eternity listening to my mom ruthlessly grill my sister about a piercing she got. Why don't I just leave, you ask? We're in the ER. My grandma is in the ICU, critically ill. But my sister's piercing is apparently a bigger concern. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 077

You deserved it 143

By Anonymous - 13/02/2015 22:49 - United States

Today, after a week of not seeing each other, my boyfriend asked if he could come over and hang out. He only came because he ran out of food at his house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 163

You deserved it 3 612

By acab93 - 10/02/2011 22:37 - United States

Today, I learned that ham is part of a pig, and not a completely different animal. I'm eighteen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 166

You deserved it 64 666

I hate Mondays

By Leaving Early Fail - 12/01/2009 20:34 - United States

Today, moments after leaving early, my boss emails me asking if I'm in the office. After an illegal U-turn, running a stop sign, parking in a visitor spot, and sneaking back to my desk, I find out she was locked out of the building but had since found her keys and let herself back in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 266

You deserved it 11 743

It's not me, it's you

By Anonymous - 10/10/2021 23:00 - Mexico - Lagos De Moreno

Today, I went out with two new friends. While we were talking, they said that their mother had called them to go home. Later on, I saw them in the main square, hanging out. I wasn't creepy or disrespectful, and I don't know why they did it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 053

You deserved it 134

High times

By Anonymous - 15/05/2024 06:00 - United States

Today, I got home from working overnight and let the 2 dogs out of their crates. The oldest one (almost 9 years-old) was acting weird. He was shaking and couldn't stand up, let alone sit. I thought something was incredibly wrong. Nope, he just had gotten hold of 10 of my "treats" when my SO wasn't looking. Dude was high all day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 149

You deserved it 638

Honey, I'm home!

By Anonymous - 26/11/2025 20:00

Today, I got home and found my husband, naked with an erection and my panties on his face like a mask. He claimed to be the Panty Bandit there to plunder my booty. I might have indulged his insanity and had sex with him were my mom and dad not right behind me in the doorway. FML

I agree, your life sucks 405

You deserved it 100

By sarahcurtis213 - 13/11/2012 07:36 - United States

Today, I was at the library using a computer to order a package. A man sat down next to me mumbling to himself while staring at me. As I got up to go to the printer, he pointed at me and screamed, "I will burn you alive and enjoy it!" All of my info including my address was still on the computer screen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 072

You deserved it 5 339

The call of the wild

By not outdoorsy - 10/07/2020 14:02

Today, I haven’t been camping since I was a kid. I decided to give it another shot. I bought all the best equipment, researched all the great locations, planned a whole weekend. Turns out I still fucking hate camping and now I’m out over $400. FML

I agree, your life sucks 581

You deserved it 2 240

By x - 12/11/2012 02:16 - United States - Lake Placid

Today, I finally met the girl I've been talking to on phone for a while and found her charming in person as well. There's just one problem: she has more facial hair than I do. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 590

You deserved it 6 616

The Prime Minister is concerned

By Anonymous - 21/05/2024 14:00 - Australia - Balaclava

Today, I got a call from a 24/7 psychiatric triage centre. Apparently, writing to the PM about assisted suicide puts you on their 'at risk' list. Is it not reasonable to ask if Australia is going to follow Canada's lead in complex mental health as a qualification for assisted suicide? I'm getting another call tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 416

You deserved it 196

Many such cases

By Anonymous - 04/12/2025 00:00

Today, I was thinking again how I literally haven't had any real life friends for years. I know I don't interact with others much, especially recently, but why am I even ignored at school? Do I deserve this like people keep saying? I really like my online friends but why does everyone but me have someone IRL? FML

I agree, your life sucks 302

You deserved it 117

Fatal decision

By juliette - 07/02/2015 05:13 - United States - Astoria

Today, my mom called me an attention seeker and threw a bitch fit because my cat "decided" to die on her birthday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 819

You deserved it 2 534

Follow your dream

By NoMoreIntellectualPursuit - 15/01/2023 18:00 - United States

Today, just to have a chance of a future career, I had to major in Data Science. Here's to 2.5 more years of soul-crushing tedium and passionless abstraction. If I had the resources to control my own life, I would have been a tradesman so I wouldn't have to sacrifice 4 years of my life on this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 598

You deserved it 344

Rebel stuff

By Anonymous - 23/05/2024 12:00 - United Kingdom - Tamworth

Today, while working in my shop, I was mopping the floor. A customer saw what I was doing, grabbed a bottle of Coca-Cola from the shelf, and poured it all over the floor where I had just finished mopping. FML

I agree, your life sucks 675

You deserved it 83

By Fred - 06/01/2009 08:28 - France

Today, I couldn't take home the free weights I'd planned on buying to start bodybuilding 'cos I couldn't lift the box, which was too heavy for me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 087

You deserved it 5 505

Renegade neighbor

By Fuck you, Yolanda! - 20/10/2021 05:00

Today, I have an egregious delinquent neighbor. She is always using internet and electrical services illegally, but is always getting packages from Amazon. Her packages are always left at my place, as she is so afraid of tax collectors, she won't open the door. She gave my billing address without my consent. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 286

You deserved it 140

Funny story…

By Anonymous - 25/05/2024 22:00 - United States

Today, I met my girlfriend’s parents for the first time. I wanted to break the ice, so I brought up a funny story… about my ex-girlfriend, without thinking. The room fell silent, and my girlfriend’s mom just stared at me. My girlfriend left the room in tears. FML

I agree, your life sucks 93

You deserved it 935

By loser - 20/07/2009 22:39 - Canada

Today, I was testing out my new webcam on an msn Video Call with a friend I hadn't seen in a while. In an attempt to look cool, I pretended to have a very interesting phone conversation. Later I found out my webcam has a mic. She "heard" the whole thing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 387

You deserved it 69 442

Facebook Science

By Anonymous - 24/10/2021 23:00

Today, someone who lives off the government stated that all I do as a front line nurse is wipe arses, and that I know nothing about Covid because I'm not a doctor. He refuses to get the vaccine as well. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 133

You deserved it 201

Tonight we're gonna party like it's 1999

By Anonymous - 28/05/2024 06:00

Today, I found out why my mother has treated me like dogshit since the day I was born. I was apparently born during a solar eclipse, which in her twisted mind meant I was born evil, with a black soul. I train dogs for blind people, yet she insists I must have a sinister motive even for that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 782

You deserved it 76

By straightasaneedle - 02/02/2011 17:11 - Germany

Today, after three weeks of putting it off, I decided to ask out the girl I've had a major crush on since third grade. When I told her, she smiled, but then quickly said, "But aren't you gay?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 633

You deserved it 4 882

By Dope - 24/12/2008 11:23 - United States

Today, I tried to sell 2,000 options contracts, but I bought them instead, resulting in a big loss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 735

You deserved it 23 322

Too late

By ObiOneStillLonely - 24/10/2021 11:00

Today, I met my dream man. Intelligent, excellent conversationalist, similar spiritual beliefs, attractive and compassionate. He proposed to my best friend last week. She asked me to be maid of honour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 891

You deserved it 321

Funny guy

By memoryloss - 04/12/2011 07:04 - United States

Today, I went to the doctor for a check up, having had a head injury a week ago and suffering some memory loss. Turns out, the medicine he gave me for my head has memory loss as a side effect. He then said, "I told you. Don't you remember?" After I said no, he said, "I figured." and giggled. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 208

You deserved it 2 834

Ghost

By Braden - 28/10/2021 17:00

Today, I texted the guy I went out with last night. He'd told me he’d text me when he got home, but he never did. Cracking a joke, I asked him if he was homeless or something, since he broke his word. He replied, “No, I’m just not that into you. Have a nice life.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 970

You deserved it 512

Inflation sucks

By Anonymous - 23/01/2023 16:00

Today. I've been retired for two years. At the time we were doing good, until the economy tripled the cost of living. Went back to work again and tore my shoulder. Six months recovery, during which time my manager tried to fire me, then two months before my return to work date, they changed insurance companies and left me with no insurance. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 048

You deserved it 129

By morning_glory - 27/01/2015 21:17 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, my boss expected me to corroborate her lie to a customer. She changed her story suddenly and I got caught up in the crosshairs. Then she got mad at me for not understanding what just happened. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 886

You deserved it 2 269

By Anonymous - 03/12/2011 02:02 - United Kingdom

Today, at a nightclub, a cute girl started hitting on me. I got into it and we danced. Just as she started getting frisky with me, a guy shoved me off, smacked me to the floor with a right-hook, and shouted, "That's what you get for touching my woman." FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 878

You deserved it 4 748

Watch the world crumble

By Anonymous - 06/06/2024 14:00 - United States

Today, I found out that the drop dead gorgeous fun bubbly woman I hit it off with is actually a disgusting, scheming whore who seduces married men, then blackmails them for money. I can’t afford to pay her, nor can I afford my wife to find out. I’m screwed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 78

You deserved it 2 010

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The Top

Today, I was asked how far I've gone with a guy. My answer? Eye contact. I'm 19. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 712

You deserved it 8 087

Today, I was at a party, and I sat down on a chair. While conversing with friends, I shifted places on the chair, and broke it. Embarrassed, I then stood up and change chairs. After moving to the next chair, I broke that one too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 222

You deserved it 21 495

Today, I found out that my writing teacher entered in one of my paper grades wrong. After many emails, she said she can't change my grade unless I fax her the original. I need that grade fixed so I can keep my scholarship. I can’t find the paper anywhere. That one paper could cost me $30,000. FML

I agree, your life sucks 75 823

You deserved it 8 687

Today, my husband is so bored with speaking to me, he literally walked outside when I was mid-sentence during a conversation about how I need more attention in our relationship. We've only been married 3 months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 977

You deserved it 409

Today, I've been asking for help to close up store for the last 7 months, at the height of a global pandemic. My boss's excuse for no help? Joe Biden and the government is keeping everyone who would earn 10 dollars an hour from working, because they are all lazy. Joe wasn't president 7 months ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 904

You deserved it 161

Today, my son is apparently old enough for his dad to teach him the “Don’t tell mommy” game, such as, "Don’t tell mommy you had extra dessert", or "Don’t tell mommy it was daddy who accidentally broke the window with daddy’s secret new air rifle." FML

I agree, your life sucks 951

You deserved it 194