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Hot headed

By Anonymous - 28/06/2024 00:00 - United States

Today, during an argument with my fiancé, I threw my engagement ring on the ground. The center stone broke off. Now he's couch surfing, and has sworn that he won't marry me unless I can find the stone. One stupid moment might actually ruin my life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 79

You deserved it 1 486

WhatsApp drama

By Anonymous - 08/02/2023 02:00

Today I found out my husband was throwing a 50th surprise party for me, and no one RSVP'd because of my best friend starting arguing with everyone in a group text. This was going to be the first big party or surprise party that I'd ever had. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 042

You deserved it 116

Niles Crane wannabe

By that’s crazy - 13/02/2023 02:00 - United States

Today, I felt comfortable enough to invite the guy I’ve been seeing over to my apartment for the first time. Things immediately got weird when he started to inspect my place top to bottom to make sure it was “clean to his standards”. I told him to leave when he started going in my closet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 161

You deserved it 119

A tale as old as time

By Anonymous - 02/07/2024 20:00 - India - Hyderabad

Today, it's been an exact month since everything went wrong with me and the girl I put 100% efforts to just talk to. My heart has never felt no heavy, and I wish I was a bit more attractive. The greatest pain that comes to your heart is when you love someone who you can never have. FML

I agree, your life sucks 290

You deserved it 398

Enlightened centrism

By Anonymous - 27/11/2021 20:01

Today, I asked my right-of-center best friend what exactly he hates about Critical Race Theory. His only coherent answer was, “It’s too critical!” This is my son’s godfather. FML

I agree, your life sucks 764

You deserved it 477

Red tape

By Stupid bureaucracy - 15/02/2023 12:00

Today, I received the contract for the new job I'm supposed to start in two weeks. It says I need an official document from the public health department, which I have to present on the first day on the job. The first available appointment to get said document is in four weeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 791

You deserved it 118

Reunited

By Anonymous - 04/07/2024 00:00 - Sweden

Today, I fell asleep on the bus taking me home after a long hard day at work. I woke up with my head on a stranger’s shoulder, drooling. The worst part? The stranger was my crush from college, who I haven’t seen in years. Turns out we have the same bus route. FML

I agree, your life sucks 451

You deserved it 141

Playing favorites

By So sick of disrespect - 21/01/2026 22:00

Today, I was making dinner for my family while my wife was at work. She walked in the door with McDonald's, even though she knew I was cooking. Then our kids saw and started screaming that they wanted McDonald's too and that it was unfair. I've told her not to pull this shit and she won't listen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 633

You deserved it 73

By Anonymous - 09/10/2012 12:12 - United States

Today, the guy I've been madly in love with for ages finally asked me out. I excitedly said yes. I waited a half an hour for him to show up, with another girl and say, "Where's your date?" I was asked to go on a double date, but apparently he forgot to tell me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 477

You deserved it 2 145

By mrdave - 04/07/2009 05:54 - Canada

Today, I looked in my pocket for the phone number of a girl I met last night at a party. I remembered us talking and exchanging phone numbers. When I found the piece of paper, I discovered that instead of writing her number down, I had drunkenly written down my own. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 909

You deserved it 46 500

Geyser Söze

By Anonymous - 08/09/2020 14:01

Today, I found out why my B&B host looked so pissed this morning. I remember having too much red wine and puking out the window last night. Turns out the lampshade underneath the window spread my puke all over the freshly painted wall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 428

You deserved it 2 104

Dream house

By Anonymous - 29/01/2026 15:00

Today, my wife wanted more space, so we moved to a new house. I signed a more expensive one-year lease and went through a huge move. Everything would’ve been fine if she hadn’t broken up with me one month later. Now I’m trying to renegotiate the lease and sleeping on the couch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 420

You deserved it 75

By Rizma - 27/11/2014 15:12 - France - Grâces

Today, I went off for a jog. Outside, I saw my really cute neighbour, so in an effort to appear fit, I accelerated and kept my head up. As I got close, I smiled at him, just as a huge fly flew right up my nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 011

You deserved it 4 579

Once more with feeling

By Anonymous - 01/12/2021 07:59

Today, the pain in my ribs was so bad I thought it’d be a good idea to stick the 24-hour heat patch on my skin to get the best out of the heat. When I removed it, it tore a bunch of my skin off. And I still have rib pain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 820

You deserved it 301

Knackered

By exhausted - 20/02/2023 22:00

Today, I got written up for “making a big show” of being exhausted at work. I was trying to hide it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 724

You deserved it 156

By sureloved97 - 09/01/2011 07:14 - United States

Today, I went to school prepared to speak in front of a whole bunch of kids and talk about how great my middle school is. I spent an hour on the speech and took the 45 minute drive there. Turns out the coordinator of the school only called me in to pass out brochures. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 433

You deserved it 4 583

gottaloveit97 tells us more.

gottaloveit97 0

Monday 10 January 2011 3:43

I wrote this before I made an account. I just wanted to say that I wasn't detailed enough. She told me we were speaking. I no I didn't misunderstand because there were other girls and they made notecards. anyway thank you for the responses to my FML and btw, for whoever asked up above, yah I go to a gifted kids middle school :) thank you !!

My body, my choice

By Anonymous - 16/09/2020 23:01 - Canada - Red Deer

Today, my girlfriend thought it would be a good idea to drink several shots of vodka after taking a pill that makes you sick when you drink. She puked all night and then blamed me for making her sick. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 414

You deserved it 166

Awkward silence

By Anonymous - 24/02/2023 02:00

Today, I was taking notes during a meeting, and politely asked the speaker to repeat a statement. She snapped, "My time has value. I do not repeat. If you don't respect me enough to pay attention, it's your problem." Everyone just stared at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 996

You deserved it 152

By ObeseCaveDweller - 16/01/2010 07:26 - United States

Today, I found out what I look like drunk and naked while swinging a tennis racket thanks to a picture message forwarded to just about everyone I know and some I don't. Among the numbers the text was sent to was a familiar one. My mom's. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 025

You deserved it 30 649

ObeseCaveDweller tells us more.

ObeseCaveDweller 0

Saturday 16 January 2010 22:29

This sounds strangely familiar. Oh, that's right, it was me that this happened to

By Jumja - 15/01/2010 11:37 - Netherlands

Today, I found out my boyfriend's mother has invented a new kind of cake and named it after me: not because it's delicious, but because of the amount of fat in it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 237

You deserved it 5 720

"Based on your purchase history…"

By Anonymous - 19/09/2020 20:02

Spicy

Today, in the break room at work, I was looking through my email on my phone about my Amazon orders. There was a suggested product that looked like a dildo. I turned around to see my boss behind me glancing at my phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 095

You deserved it 303

But…

By I hate my job - 23/12/2014 08:14 - Canada - Delta

Today, I went to my retail job to buy some clothing. As soon as I walked through the doors, my manager yelled at me for not being in appropriate work clothes. I tried to explain that I was off the clock but he was having none of it. I got written up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 385

You deserved it 3 114

I want to break free

By annoyed - 30/11/2021 02:01 - United States - Staten Island

Today, I found out that after caring for all of my family and I’m about to get on with my own life, someone has dementia and I'm right back in the same spot I’ve been forever, stuck again with caring for someone else. This has been going on for 20 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 068

You deserved it 206

By laviestpasimal - 07/03/2012 00:14 - France

Today, I had six long hours with the same math teacher. To get home, I travel by bus. Guess who sat down next to me for the whole trip. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 743

You deserved it 2 509

Insane

By moving out first chance I get! - 03/03/2023 18:00

Today, my insane mother struck again. She refused to drive me to my doctor’s appointment for my asthma because the office won’t let her bring her precious doggo inside and it’s too cold to sit in the car with it. No, she won’t leave it at home like a normal person, and no it’s not a service dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 059

You deserved it 111

Was it "Girl Afraid" by The Smiths?

By what - 21/07/2024 12:00 - United States

Today, I was listening to some music with my wife, and I mentioned that the song that was playing changed my mind about breaking up after an argument from years ago. For some reason, she got insanely pissed, threw a suitcase at me, and told me to pack and go. FML

I agree, your life sucks 195

You deserved it 586

By j4 - 19/12/2014 23:27 - United Kingdom

Today, my date mugged me, just minutes after I paid our bill at the restaurant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 631

You deserved it 2 966

By D - 03/09/2013 18:04 - United States - Pleasanton

Today, I had to calm my hallucinating mom after she accidentally overdosed on one of her pills, then spend ages trying to protect her from the "monkey" on the wall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 369

You deserved it 2 735

By Anonymous - 31/10/2011 16:22 - United States

Today, I convinced my teacher to let me resit a very important test I failed. I got a lower score the second time around. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 570

You deserved it 35 872

Fuse ignited

By Anonymous - 16/02/2026 22:00

Today, I got sick of my mother-in-law telling me everything I do brings shame to the family, so I meanly asked if her other son spending three months in prison was shameful or if he was already forgiven. It turned out that he told her he'd spent three months touring Brazil. Cue massive family screaming match. FML

I agree, your life sucks 571

You deserved it 83

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The Top

The Top

Today, I bought myself a pair of beautiful, hand-crafted earrings with lighthouses on them. My mother was quick to point out the lighthouses look like dicks. I don't think I can ever wear them again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 183

You deserved it 5 457

Today, I finally learned why the application of lasers, acids, liquid nitrogen and witchcraft never did any good on the huge warts on my hands. Apparently, it's a genetic disease and not a virus. For unknown reasons, I've recently grown the normal viral kind too. On my tongue. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 036

You deserved it 4 279

Today, I got to work feeling slightly unwell. A couple of hours later, an extremely attractive customer came to my till, at which point my body decided it would be a good idea to vomit last night's dinner all over myself and the customer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 733

You deserved it 4 618

Today, my apartment management notified me that my water was going to be shut off all day so they could fix the plumbing. I took a laxative last night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 753

You deserved it 180

Today, my son is going to jail for robbing our church. This happened a year after my daughter was arrested for breaking in to the same church so she could have sex as a big "Fuck You" to God. I can’t show my face there anymore, and it’s the only church within 50 miles. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 185

You deserved it 1 566

Today, after a bad head cold, my boyfriend woke up, shambled to the bathroom and sniffled. He then pulled the biggest booger I've ever seen out of his nose; it looked like a giant slug. He took a picture, then set it as his lock screen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 354

You deserved it 78