The Top

It definitely wasn't their breaks! It was weird because they didn't even ask for my friends numbers or anything, just chatted with them. There was enough room at the table for them to have done that with me there, so it wasn't that. It was almost like I was too intimidating or something! I found it quite funny in a tragic kind of way and that's probably because of the terrible relationship I've just come out of. I really didn't expect so many nice comments, you guys are the best!

Asshole

By WetWalking - 21/03/2013 13:31 - United States - Tyler

Today, I was walking by the side of the interstate because my car broke down. A nice young man stopped and asked if I was tired of walking. I said yes, to which he replied, "Try jogging asshole" then laughed and drove off. It was raining balls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 222

You deserved it 3 767

By SleeplessInSoCal - 09/08/2010 06:18 - United States

Today, I couldn't fall asleep till 3am and was woken approximately every hour or so. Why? I found out my new upstairs neighbors have a very active love life. She's a screamer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 128

You deserved it 3 312

Sledding Fail

By FML Approved - 03/10/2017 03:00 - United States - New York

Mistakes were made...

I agree, your life sucks 356

You deserved it 292

Treat yourself

By Anonymous - 26/07/2022 02:00

Today, I told my husband we could have a "him" day, visit the comic book and games stores, then watch anime. He refused to believe I was genuine, and asked what bad thing I did that I was trying to make up for. We ended up not doing any of it because he thinks I can’t be nice to him without a motive. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 092

You deserved it 810

Bad start

By Nathan - 23/03/2009 20:09 - United States

Today, I went to see a therapist for the first time because I've been feeling depressed lately. I opened up and said everything that was on my mind. I really spilled my guts. After a good 30 minutes, her first question was, "Do you always talk this much?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 75 360

You deserved it 7 880

Light sentence

By ClumsyTeen - 14/05/2021 05:57 - United States - Staten Island

Today, I tried to sneak in at 2 a.m. after going out, since I'm 16, but I tripped over a pair of slippers and landed flat on my face. My body fell quietly, but I let out a very loud and guttural, "Oof." After about a minute, I lifted my face to see my mom standing over me. I'm now grounded for 3 days. FML

I agree, your life sucks 280

You deserved it 2 235

Oh no…

By Somethingswrongwiththispic - 05/08/2010 08:17 - United States

Today, I was watching this show about fat people. I was wondering how people could let this happen to themselves. Then I looked down and saw a giant bowl of popcorn, ice cream, potato chips, and soda. I thus figured out how people do this to themselves. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 207

You deserved it 47 021

Bad design

By Anonymous - 28/07/2022 16:00 - Germany - Zittau

Today I have to face the fact that either my anatomy is different from other women, or all panties are designed by clueless men: You know that little cotton lining they have? Ever notice how it is invariably placed so that it will catch exactly HALF of the wet patch it is supposed to absorb? FML

I agree, your life sucks 851

You deserved it 190

By mcmacmick97 - 11/04/2014 00:08 - United States - Egg Harbor Township

Today, while already late for work, a cop pulled me over. When he got to my window, he said, "Oh sorry, I thought I knew you," and sent me on my way. I was relieved, but still got written up for being late to work. My boss didn't believe the story. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 022

You deserved it 3 970

mcmacmick97 tells us more.

mcmacmick97 9

Friday 11 April 2014 19:06

Just to clear some things up I was working the early shift, which I do on most Thursdays and Fridays. I work at a small diner that opens at 7 and had left my house around 6:40 and was going to show up around 7-7:05. My boss usually shows up around 7:15-:7:30. Now when this cop put his lights on behind me I turned down a street to get off of the main road I was on.I was getting my license/registration ready and all that shit and he pulled up to my window and said he was very sorry and he was just trying to say hi to an old friend that he said had the same car as i do. Now this road i pulled down didn't allow me to get back onto the main road, and I had to take a 15 or so minute detour to get back on track. I got there around 7:25 and my boss was already there. I was glad I didn't get a ticket, but it was still very frustrating because I would've only been a couple minutes late and my boss would never have known, but the police officer threw my time off. And ive only been working there for about 3 or so weeks so it sucks to get off on the wrong foot. I also noticed several of you talking about how many write-ups you can get before being fired, and for mine it's 3. Like somebody else said just sucks to waste one already, but i shouldnt have too much of a problem keeping myself in check. Now for the story I told him, I figured he wouldn't believe it, but had to tell anyway. He seemed more irritated that I was "lying" about being late so i probably shouldnt have even bothered. But thanks FML for posting!

By dwhite032 - 06/06/2011 07:06 - United States

Today, I woke up to my Playstation 3 and my laptop missing and window open. My dad faked a robbery to see me freak out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 509

You deserved it 6 856