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The top of the year

Slam dunk

By Yuk - 29/06/2026 22:00 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I was pissing in a bathroom and I tossed my empty energy drink can into the toilet for laughs. The unnecessarily powerful flush sucked it up where it got stuck and caused me to get sprayed with toilet water while I frantically tried to open the stall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30

You deserved it 1 227

Twitter (currently X)

By MF - 21/12/2025 12:00

Today, because now Twitter shows the "For you" section automatically, the first thing I saw was some guy saying childless women are useless and pathetic. I wanted kids but had a hysterectomy because I was developing cancer. Seeing that brought back the pain and made me feel like crap. FML

I agree, your life sucks 528

You deserved it 116

Bad news

By Its over - 20/08/2026 12:00 - United States

Today, I called my ex and told him I was pregnant with his child. He was thrilled, going on and on about how much he wanted to be a dad. I had to tell him I was going to abort it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 98

You deserved it 336

Billie Jean

By Anonymous - 28/11/2025 15:00

Today, despite my warnings, my mother continues to go see my ex's son and encourage her to get more child support from me. They both say that because I signed the birth certificate, that makes that baby mine. I don't think he is, and I'm currently with someone else, with my first real son on the way. FML

I agree, your life sucks 151

You deserved it 624

Happy New Year!

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2021 but it's good stuff

Today, my New Year’s Eve consisted of four things: being home alone, drinking cheap alcohol out of a tooth mug, getting an upset stomach from that, then going to bed early with ear plugs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 947

You deserved it 367

Short fuse

By Anonymous - 03/01/2026 00:00

Today, two days after losing my temper with my smart mouthed 7 year-old son and slapping him across the face, I tried to apologize by buying him a treat and telling him if anyone found out, I would get in trouble. Today, I got a call from social services about the "bruise" on his face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 91

You deserved it 1 227

Hand it over

By Anonymous - 23/04/2026 15:00 - United States - Maryland Heights

Today, my girlfriend totally emasculated me and made me a laughing stock when we got mugged and, instead of just handing over her purse like the guy said, she took out a stun gun and used it on him while I freaked out and cried. Now all my friends are laughing at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 132

You deserved it 817

Dad jokes, part #23555

By Lizzie - This FML is from back in 2019 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom - Birmingham

Today, my boyfriend came over for dinner for the first time. As a joke, my dad answered the door wearing the white church robes that he wears when he is lay-reading during a church service, and said, "Welcome, child of God." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 919

You deserved it 359

Bitter

By Oshi - 02/05/2026 15:00 - United States - Miami

Today, I got a Venmo request from a guy who I friendzoned when I announced my relationship with another guy on Instagram. He’s backcharging me for all the dinners, auto repair bills, etc., he apparently spent on me. It’s over $4000. I don’t have that kind of money and he’s threatening legal action if I don’t pay. FML

I agree, your life sucks 314

You deserved it 542

Let the man have his hobbies

By hildi - 07/06/2026 09:00 - Switzerland

Today, my husband is such a cheap-ass that he spent two days underneath his old beater car with an angle grinder and a welding rig, grinding off some old rusty supports, and welding on new ones. He makes enough money to throw that thing in the scrapyard and buy a brand new car. I don't get it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 98

You deserved it 532

Self-awareness Day

By Luciano - 11/08/2026 20:00 - United States

Today, my coworker is two months pregnant. I used condoms with her every time, so I’m not sure how the fuck it happened. I’m the only man she’s been with. I tried to give her money for an abortion but she insists on keeping it. She knows damn well I have a real wife and kids, and I can’t afford to lose them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53

You deserved it 763

Nature ain't all that great

By Beaten by deer - 18/04/2026 12:00 - United States

Today, an adorable deer got into the yard, so I went to pet it. It jumped on its back legs and started flailing its front legs around, kicking the crap out of me until I curled into a ball crying. I'm so bruised, I can barely sit down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 86

You deserved it 1 096

More help needed!

By Emma - 11/02/2026 09:00

Today, it's only four days until my high school's Valentines Day dance. I want to ask my best guy friend - I'm an 18 year-old girl - but I'm always thinking of my BFF, also an 18 year-old girl. No we're not gay, but our conversations have taught me we - two straight teen girls - may be soul mates. What should I do? FML

I agree, your life sucks 139

You deserved it 325

Everyone can be a 7

By Langer - 31/03/2026 12:00

Today, I realized how fucked up the dating world is when I noticed girls wanting to be all over me once I lost 65 pounds. This girl who put me in the friendzone three years ago is now wanting to latch onto me. It makes me want to not try because apparently, love is conditional. I quit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 251

You deserved it 451

Seems reasonable

By Anonymous - 04/04/2026 03:00 - United States

Today, my husband kicked me out because I told him I'm having an abortion. He just doesn't understand that with the way our country is right now, and how bad the economy is, it's just not a good idea to have kids at the present time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 438

You deserved it 660

Grow up, man

By Mud - 11/06/2026 00:00 - United States - Secaucus

Today, I called the guy who's been ghosting me after our date and demanded answers. He said, "All you wanted to talk about on our date was heavy shit, my career, my family, my past relationships. It didn't feel like a date, it felt like an interview." Of course! I wanted to know if our goals match! I'm 35, not a teen! FML

I agree, your life sucks 192

You deserved it 736

Bye bye baby

By OhCanada - This FML is from back in 2019 but it's good stuff

Today, my downstairs neighbor is single, clever and incredibly hot, while the upstairs neighbor is loud and obnoxious, not to mention a creep. I silently prayed every day for my neighbor to leave the building, and today, my prayer was answered: my neighbor moved out. Guess which one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 863

You deserved it 400

Demon drink

By Aliiveopen - This FML is from back in 2020 but it's good stuff - United States - Wasilla

Today, my mom got blackout drunk and tried to fight me, my stepdad, and my brother, resulting in my stepdad leaving, my brother getting two holes from a metal shelf my mom tried to joust him with, and I got bit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 954

You deserved it 171

Too little, too late

By Anonymous - 29/11/2025 00:00

Today, after a few years of not feeling ready since my daughter born, I went to my ex's apartment to tell her I am ready to be a dad. Turns out she moved out, two years ago, and left me forwarding address for me. I tried calling her phone. The number was disconnected. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52

You deserved it 1 345

Shadowboxing

By Fuck space exploration give me human rights - 02/04/2026 09:00

Today, my whole family was so excited about watching the Artemis II launch and scolded me for not mustering more enthusiasm. Great, we can go to space now… so anytime someone talks about real issues like climate change or racism, we'll hear, "Well just go to space then" or "Space will solve our problems." FML

I agree, your life sucks 229

You deserved it 497

Values

By Environmentalist man wanted - 12/07/2026 22:00 - United States - Chesapeake

Today, I met an awesome guy. He turned out to be very well off at a young age, which excited me, until I learned that he works for a power company and is very enthusiastic about his career. I don't know if I can date him knowing his company is destroying the planet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 91

You deserved it 778

The other shoe drops

By ConstantChoas - This FML is from back in 2017 but it's good stuff

Today, I found out the procedure manual I've been creating for months and finally finished is going to be used to train the person replacing me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 634

You deserved it 230

He got the hell out of there, became a new guy

By What is wrong with you - 06/04/2026 03:00 - United States

Today, my husband was home past his usual departure time for work, so I pointedly asked if he would be late. He said he called out sick. I stared at him, wide-eyed in disbelief, as he said he "wanted to relax in the yard with a book." He's completely lost his mind. FML

I agree, your life sucks 94

You deserved it 734

Love at first prompt

By Jessica - 08/05/2026 09:00 - United States

Today, my 37 year-old fiance is calling off our wedding for a 21 year-old woman from Colombia he’s been talking to online. He’s gonna marry her and bring her to the US. He’s been using ChatGPT to speak with her in Spanish. I’ve spent over $5000 on our wedding and was picking up my dress next week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 542

You deserved it 72

Risky road

By Gimme money - 24/05/2026 09:00 - United States - Secaucus

Today, desperate for money, I stepped out in front of a car, hoping to get a hefty bribe not to take the driver to court. He slammed on his brakes and barely tapped me. When I fell onto his hood and started screaming, a passerby said, "That's the fakest scam attempt I've ever seen." FML

I agree, your life sucks 48

You deserved it 1 110

Shallow

By John - 09/06/2026 15:00 - United States - San Diego

Today, my now-ex girlfriend showed me a picture where she was 120lbs overweight and asked me if I would still date her if she ever looked like that again. Being honest, I said “No.” She broke it off with me because of that. Apparently I lack “good moral character” and “it’s giving red flag.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 259

You deserved it 496

Will you…

By Anonymous - 16/06/2026 15:00 - United States

Today, my boyfriend of 5 years got down on one knee with the most beautiful ring box I’d ever seen. My heart raced and my eyes immediately filled with tears in anticipation! When he finally opened it, a fucking spider was inside! I nearly shat myself in terror while he laughed hysterically. FML

I agree, your life sucks 541

You deserved it 72

The body keeps the score

By Sold my soul for 5000 - 26/08/2025 09:00 - United States

Today, a guy offered me five grand for a video call. As an OnlyFans model, I jumped at the chance. He wanted me to list off everything I regretted or disliked about my life while masturbating. Fifteen minutes later, I had the worst panic attack I've ever had. Six hours later and I'm still shaking and sobbing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 201

You deserved it 623

Dumbass

By Anonymous - 29/09/2025 03:00

Today, my best friend and I have been friends for over 35 years and now suddenly I don’t have a friend anymore, all because my idiot son got his daughter pregnant then abandoned her, and somehow it’s my fault my son is a deadbeat and I deserve to have a 35 year friendship taken away FML

I agree, your life sucks 256

You deserved it 559

Giving up

By ForeverLonely - 31/10/2025 22:00

Today, I’m getting my fallopian tubes removed because I've lost all hope of finding a man. I’m 36 and I've kissed frog after frog and no Prince Charming on the horizon. I can’t get a man to stay/commit to save my life, so I’m throwing away the dream of having a white picket fence family to be confined into celibacy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 157

You deserved it 559

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The Top

Today, I found my sister licking all of the silverware and putting it back in the drawer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 892

You deserved it 2 636

Today, while arm wrestling with my boyfriend, I had to pretend he beat me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 397

You deserved it 7 968

Today, my roommate asked me to lock the door as we left our place. I told her to use my keys, because my hands were full. Afterwards, she and her boyfriend set off out of town for the next couple of days. She forgot to give me back my keys. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 103

You deserved it 5 654

Today, I was walking down the street when I passed a construction site. All of the workers started making a fuss and whistling, etc. Naturally, I got very flustered. I stood still for a second and faced them. One yelled for me to move because I was in the way of a girl at a stop light. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 027

You deserved it 14 259

Today, while reviewing boxes of motorcycle parts, I noticed my neighbor's daughter gleefully watching me. I jokingly said, "Wanna do this?" and she let out a loud squee and got to work alone. A few hours later, the bike was ready for a test run. I had no idea how to even start building it. She's 14. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 785

You deserved it 2 564

Today, I returned a shirt for my mom. When the cashier asked why, I just said my mom didn't like the way it looked. After an awkward pause, I noticed the cashier was wearing the same shirt. She was not amused. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 075

You deserved it 373