The Top

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You know it when you see it

By FutureDishwasher - 29/07/2026 22:00 - United States - Denver

Today, I'm reviewing articles for a medical journal. The stuff submitted that was partially written by AI is such utter crap, I have to take a break every 30 minutes so I don't kill myself or tell the authors they're morons. It actually makes me miss being a minimum wage dishwasher in summer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 383

You deserved it 74

Santa or Satan?

By Cat poo - 23/12/2024 22:00 - United States - Smithtown

Today, I woke up, put on my fuzzy socks, walked down my hallway, and stepped in cat vomit. I took off my now wet socks, continued walking down the hallway, and stepped barefoot in cat shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 450

You deserved it 220

Make it stop

By For you and for me! - 03/08/2026 09:00 - Philippines - Makati City

Today, someone hacked the bus's Bluetooth speakers and played "Heal the World" by Michael Jackson on repeat. It was a four-hour, point-to-point nonstop bus ride. FML

I agree, your life sucks 370

You deserved it 59

Been there, done that

By Christine - 30/12/2024 15:00 - United States - Salt Lake City

Today, I mistook a mannequin in a store for a real person and apologized when I bumped into it. A staff member saw and said, "Don’t worry, he’s used to it." FML

I agree, your life sucks 406

You deserved it 119

Come on, man

By FireReady - 07/08/2026 15:00 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, a manager isn't taking to me because I didn't give the 8-week notice period to go on Emergency Service leave for a few days during a bush fire crisis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 345

You deserved it 57

Handle with care

By Anonymous - 05/01/2025 15:00 - United States

Today, I went through a drive-thru and ordered a milkshake. When the cashier handed it to me, for some unknown reason I confidently grabbed the lid instead of the cup. Guess who’s now wearing the milkshake? FML

I agree, your life sucks 182

You deserved it 471

Hey you!

By I was very drunk - 14/08/2026 20:00 - United States - Fort Wayne

Today, after a boozy lunch, I drunkenly waved at what I thought was my reflection in a shop window. The person inside waved back. I laughed and kept walking. Ten minutes later, I realized I'd spent the entire interaction waving at someone standing in a café. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53

You deserved it 354

The Kinks

By Anonymous - 23/05/2022 22:00

Today, my dad found out that there are others like him in this world. They're called furries. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 121

You deserved it 211

Take care

By Everything Counts - 17/08/2023 14:00 - United States

Today, and recently, I've been accused of being jealous whenever I point out that someone is taking advantage of my wife's kindness. I just want her to get the love and friendship she deserves, not these flighty balls of stress that then destabilize her moods. Self-care is sometimes being open to saying, "NO!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 656

You deserved it 124

Skincare routine

By Anonymous - 22/08/2023 14:00 - United States - Cordova

Today, I found a DIY beauty hack online, so as I had nothing better to do and my skin is a mess, I gave it a try. I mixed lemon juice with sugar to exfoliate my face. Little did I know, I had a tiny cut on my cheek. The lemon juice made it feel like my face was on fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 470

You deserved it 383

Martial artist

By Weakling - 02/02/2025 03:00 - United States - Staten Island

Today, we did board breaking at a karate demonstration. I was nervous about failing in front of everyone, but I kept my cool. Good news, I broke the board. Bad news, I started crying like a baby because it hurt my hand. I'm 26. FML

I agree, your life sucks 165

You deserved it 378

Basic night out

By Anonymous - 05/02/2025 03:00 - United Kingdom - Liverpool

Today, I went out and got very drunk. I talked to a girl and some other people. As the girl left, someone told me to follow her as she didn't seem to know where she was going. As a drunk, socially inept idiot, I did so for about 20 seconds, only for someone to point me out to her and quickly guide her away. Then I lost like £700. FML

I agree, your life sucks 98

You deserved it 663

Living in a treehouse?

By Outandaway - 27/08/2023 20:00

Today, I was gently awoken by my daylight alarm clock. So were about 15 wasps that had started building their nest underneath my bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 692

You deserved it 120

When people show you who they are, believe them the first time

By Not gay - 29/08/2023 08:00 - United States

Today, as always, I wore a pin at work with the rainbow infinity symbol to indicate that I'm autistic. A creepy male customer came in and, thinking it was a gay pride pin, started hitting on me and making inappropriate comments. He just wouldn't stop, no matter how much I tried to explain. The police were called. FML

I agree, your life sucks 800

You deserved it 208

Morbid curiosity

By justhangingaround - 02/09/2023 06:00

Today, I found out that I fell in love with a diagnosed sociopath, which I didn’t know until I broke up with them though. The worst part is now that I know, I want to go back because I’m fascinated. FML

I agree, your life sucks 150

You deserved it 838

County AND country

By Anonymous - 13/02/2025 15:00 - United States - Boise

Today, I learned a state senator is pushing a law to prosecute women for murder if they have an abortion, even out of state. Miscarriages would be investigated for aggravated assault, and if deemed unintentional, life insurance benefits would still be denied. I fear for the women in my county. FML

I agree, your life sucks 741

You deserved it 220

Happy International Friendship Day!

By FML Approved - 30/07/2017 18:30

Are your friends as great as these? In honor of this special day, maybe DON'T make up an excuse not to hang out with your friends. They're not soooo bad...

I agree, your life sucks 652

You deserved it 156

Asshole design

By mala_19 - 22/09/2023 16:00 - Sweden - Burea

Today, I had to drive through a parking lot that they fucked up so bad that you have to put your car in reverse to go around it. I have to go there 6 times a week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 584

You deserved it 108

Bad day #74746

By orourkeda - 14/04/2021 11:00 - Ireland - Dublin

Today, I sharted in work this morning. It was rather unpleasant and everyone around me knew what had happened. The embarrassment was stifling. FML

I agree, your life sucks 959

You deserved it 192

Streaker alert!

By Anonymous - 22/03/2025 15:00 - United Kingdom - Barnsley

Today, I was walking through a park when I saw someone running toward me. I thought he was jogging but quickly realized he was wearing nothing other than a grin. As he passed me, he yelled, “I’m freeeee!” I’m still trying to figure out why that was the moment I decided to take a sip of my coffee, because the shock made it come out of my nostrils. FML

I agree, your life sucks 371

You deserved it 95

Eyepatch nightmare

By 1eyedpirate - 08/10/2023 00:02

Today, after years of my husband offering to trim my bangs, I finally let him. On the first snip he managed to cut the skin beneath my eyebrow. Ten minutes before that, our newborn shat all over me, even getting it in my hair. To make me feel better, since we have a parrot, my husband said that I could finally fulfill my dreams of being a pirate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 619

You deserved it 171

Weekend blues

By Anonymous - 04/07/2022 10:00

Today, I got the rest of the week off against my will due to lack of patients. Two weeks ago, I declined my boyfriend's dad's offer to pay for a flight to Panama City, FL for a family vacation this weekend in order to help the staff at work. Now I’m sitting at home and they’re on a beach. FML

I agree, your life sucks 874

You deserved it 317

Time to scramble

By BellaBabii32 - 27/04/2021 02:01

Today, I went to get coffee. While I was at the drive-thru window, I went to pay with my card but dropped it right out the window. It went under my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 832

You deserved it 181

Emergency!

By Not again!!! - 07/04/2025 20:00 - United States - Spokane

Today, I had a major digestive emergency while at work. I rushed to the bathroom, just to realize there were no toilet paper rolls left. In a moment of desperation, I used the last few pages of my notebook to make do. Now I’m terrified of what’s going to happen if my boss ever asks for the reports I wrote in that notebook. FML

I agree, your life sucks 374

You deserved it 106

Mystery unwanted gift

By Anonymous - 03/05/2021 23:59 - Australia - Bendigo

Today, I came back from school camp and really had to go to the toilet. I ran to the nearest one, which was by the principal's office. After I finished, I tried to flush the button. Turns out the water was turned off so it wouldn't flush. I bolted. The principal is now stuck with my unwanted present. FML

I agree, your life sucks 883

You deserved it 193

Not quite there yet

By Anonymous - 06/05/2021 05:59

Today, I was denied entry into Hong Kong after flying here from Canada and paying thousands of uncancellable dollars for quarantine hotel and other plans, because the immigration company fucked up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 040

You deserved it 178

Get me out of here

By Anonymous - 24/04/2025 15:00 - United Kingdom

Today, because my insane mother doesn’t want me getting a job to afford to move out and never see her again, she put my suit in the freezer last night so I couldn’t go to my 9 a.m. interview. I went in a t-shirt instead and they rejected me straight away for not "taking the interview seriously." FML

I agree, your life sucks 599

You deserved it 80

Friends reunited

By Anonymous - 30/10/2023 22:00

Today, I saw my middle school best friend and former girlfriend for the first time in two years. They were making out in our new high school’s library. Two years ago, he said she was a skank, and she said he was a creep, before never speaking to me again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 415

You deserved it 78

Injury to injury

By Anonymous - 01/11/2023 18:00

Today, I got home from work and face-planted into my sofa because I hate my job, suffer from depression, recently lost my wife to cancer, and a host of other BS. As I face-planted it turned out that my sister invited herself over and had fell asleep, curled up under a blanket. Our heads collided at 30 mph. FML

I agree, your life sucks 581

You deserved it 98

Wake Up Call

By FML Approved - 07/10/2017 03:00

The most frustrating sound ever.

I agree, your life sucks 466

You deserved it 91

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The Top

Today, my mother got married. My siblings and I only found out when the pool hall she held the ceremony at posted the news on Facebook. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 226

You deserved it 523

Today, I've spent far too long on hold to Apple customer support. Unfortunately the only thing to come from it is I now have "Call me maybe" stuck in my head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 672

You deserved it 3 480

Today, when I was finished eating at McDonald's, I went to Shoppers to pick up a new toothbrush. I got back to my car only to find the windows smashed in. The only thing that was missing from my car was the Hello Kitty toy I got from McDonald's. Someone broke into my car for a 10 cent toy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 205

You deserved it 3 680

Today, I found out my boyfriend's mom tried to bribe him with an iPhone to dump me. He accepted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 407

You deserved it 2 478

Today, three days after my "friend" tried to cut all my hair off while I was asleep, she tried to poison me with a random chemical that was under my sink. She then told me she wanted me dead because I touched her senpai. Her senpai is my brother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 706

You deserved it 278

Today, at the age of 21, I need digestive enzymes. Apparently most people start needing them in their sixties, but my parents and even my grandparents don’t need them. Without them, the food just sits in my stomach for days before eventually coming back up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 982

You deserved it 101