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By No batteries nor WiFi needed! - 09/02/2026 00:00

Today, my dad threatened to kick me out and cut me off if I didn't apologize to his girlfriend, whom I don't get along with. She found the heavily used textbook I bought from a second hand bookstore, which is full of funny doodles and tons of harsh hate messages to a certain "Susan", which coincidentally is her name. FML

I agree, your life sucks 393

You deserved it 102

Jump

By Petitprof - 12/11/2010 18:23 - France

Today, someone in my class wrote, "Erase me if you can!" at the very top of the board, as I'm always tormented about how short I am compared to everyone else. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't reach it. I'm the teacher. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 317

You deserved it 5 348

Ouch

By FML Videos - 19/10/2018 18:30 - United States - New York

Trust no one. Nothing.

I agree, your life sucks 326

You deserved it 170

Gamers will know

By Its painfully bad - 15/02/2026 03:00

Today, my wife got bored and went into my collection of old PC games. She started playing Mass Effect and commented that she loved it and wanted to play all three. I don't know how to tell her that it ends worse than Game of Thrones. FML

I agree, your life sucks 309

You deserved it 91

By MissMSE - 18/09/2009 08:41 - Canada

Today, my friends took my phone and changed all the contact's names to characters from Harry Potter. I have over a hundred contacts and no idea who I'm talking to. I've been texting Draco Malfoy for 4 hours now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 105

You deserved it 4 563

It wasn't me

By Anonymous - 31/07/2024 20:00

Today, my brother asked his wife for a divorce, but she got so mad at him that he backtracked and told her it was a prank I'd put him up to. She’s still mad as hell at him, but thanks to his lie my name is now mud in our entire family. I was at work all day, and I did nothing wrong. FML

I agree, your life sucks 671

You deserved it 108

Delivered

By fedexed - 27/07/2009 19:12 - United States

Today, I brought my lunch to work in the only box I had lying around my apartment - a small one from FedEx. When I went to the bathroom before lunch, I returned to my desk to find that one of my coworkers had mailed my lunch back to my apartment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 322

You deserved it 10 398

Skittish

By Anonymous - 01/08/2024 14:00 - Australia - Sydney

Today, I was halfway through a pair of pants I'd started making when my PTSD kicked in and I had a panic attack, and thought someone was yelling at me, so my response was to throw a pair of sewing scissors at the non-existent person. They hit the wall and now I have to get the wall patched up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 345

You deserved it 250

Did it taste good at least?

By Anonymous - 24/02/2026 03:00

Today, I popped something straight out of the oven into my mouth. It burned my tongue instantly, but instead of spitting it out, I swallowed. I felt it burning all the way down. Now I can’t eat solid food or drink hot drinks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 84

You deserved it 657

New creepypasta just dropped

By Anonymous - 25/06/2009 08:34 - United States

Today, I was getting a pedicure when the woman sitting next to me asked the lady if she could take the skin she had scraped off my feet home to her birds, because "they love skin." She then described for 20 minutes how her birds love to sit on her when her sunburn is peeling and eat her skin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 89 542

You deserved it 4 388

Drenched

By Charlie - 12/03/2023 18:00

Today, I got caught in the rain without an umbrella. I arrived at work looking like a wet rat, and my boss sent me home to change. I forgot my keys at work and ended up locked out of my apartment in the rain. I can't seem to catch a break. FML

I agree, your life sucks 847

You deserved it 236

Derpina

By No, I am NOT!!! - 27/02/2026 00:00

Today, in our homecoming high school reunion, the batch's "derpina" broke cardinal rule #1, "No +1", by bringing her baby, brandishing her to everyone. When it was my turn, as I held the baby, she said her first word, "Daddy" and just like back in school, everyone started to tease me with her all over again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 146

You deserved it 306

Goodbye horses

By Owned - 25/03/2009 23:43 - United States

Today, my parents came to visit me at the ranch I work at. They're scared to death of horses, but I was explaining how they are almost completely harmless. I was showing them how to work around the horse without getting kicked. As they relaxed, the horse kicked me. I now have a broken leg. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 893

You deserved it 9 256

Act three, scene one

By anon - 12/08/2024 14:00 - New Zealand

Today, I was performing in a community theater production. Right before my big scene, I felt a sneeze coming on. I tried to hold it in, but it came out with such force that I lost my balance, fell off the stage, and landed in the lap of the mayor, who was in the front row. My character’s dramatic entrance was unforgettable for all the wrong reasons. FML

I agree, your life sucks 400

You deserved it 146

Grab it while you can

By Leann - 07/03/2026 22:00

Today, I had a blind date with someone who asked me for an evening out back on Valentine's Day. I was happy to have a date related to a special day. The catch: my date is a woman I know from work who has a crush on me. Should I feel good I agreed to time with another woman, or bad that it's my only date in 3 years? FML

I agree, your life sucks 98

You deserved it 280

Flying disaster

By Anonymous - 24/03/2023 14:00 - United Kingdom - Manchester

Today, I was on a plane when I had to use the bathroom. While pulling up my pants, the flush button got stuck and the water kept running. I tried to fix it, but ended up flooding the bathroom and the aisle. The attendants had to give me a towel and escort me back to my seat with everyone on the plane staring at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 864

You deserved it 144

Entitled to personal attacks

By Fuck you asshole! - 18/08/2024 06:00 - United States - Anaheim

Today, I was told that I was an “entitled snowflake.” I'd mentioned that after 5+ years of cancer treatment and over a dozen surgeries, I still have some physical limitations. I literally almost died but still managed to finish school and change careers, but yeah, I’m entitled. FML

I agree, your life sucks 560

You deserved it 116

You what?

By Anonymous - 26/03/2023 10:00 - Venezuela - Caracas

Today, I went to park with a guy I've been infatuated for a long time. We got into his car and found a lovely lonely spot. Then he started talking about kinks, and I noticed that he had a gorilla suit in the back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 047

You deserved it 235

Heartless swine

By Anonymous - 17/03/2026 20:00

Today, my wife isn't speaking to me and is considering separation because I got rid of the puppy she surprised me with for my birthday. She knows I hate dogs and I'm severely allergic to them, but thought it would be a happy case of "Dad later falls in love." FML

I agree, your life sucks 503

You deserved it 119

The ultimate betrayal

By nick - 23/08/2024 20:00 - United States - San Diego

Today, I learned of my girlfriend’s affair with her coworker. And by coworker, I mean my long-time friend, who we helped get a job at her work in the first place. FML

I agree, your life sucks 573

You deserved it 60

Leave me alone!

By Anonymous - 21/03/2026 12:00

Today, despite my insistence that I didn't need her, my mom showed up at my door to move in to "help out" after my wife's death. I refused to let her in, so now she's staying at a hotel, and the whole family is angry at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 536

You deserved it 94

All over the place

By Anonymous - 29/03/2023 12:00

Today, I got into a fender bender on my way to an important meeting. The damage to my car was minimal, but I was so flustered that I ended up getting lost and arrived late to the meeting. To make matters worse, I'd forgotten my notes in the car and had to wing it. Needless to say, the meeting didn't go well. FML

I agree, your life sucks 755

You deserved it 183

Insurance scam

By Anonymous - 23/03/2026 20:00

Today, my parents told me that they're suing my best friend's parents because I broke my leg at their house. I've been begging and pleading and fighting with them not to but they won't listen. They keep saying that it's not personal and it's just a legal thing. Happens all the time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 517

You deserved it 71

You'll understand when you're older

By I had no idea I swear!!! - 27/03/2026 20:00

Today, I was told that the cute rhyming nickname I gave to my daughter’s best friend is actually the name of an adult performer. I feel gross, even though I truly had no idea. Now the girl asks me why I don’t call her that anymore and I don’t know what to tell her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 331

You deserved it 108

Mind your own business

By Anonymous - 30/03/2026 20:00

Today, I found out that my parents are in trouble because they left me home alone for almost two weeks (I'm 16) and my Karen neighbor found out and called social services. FML

I agree, your life sucks 481

You deserved it 70

No good deed…

By Anonymous - 07/04/2023 18:00 - Slovenia - Ljubljana

Today I ran across the street to help a woman who had fallen off her bicycle. While running, I tripped and broke my arm. Surgery is needed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 840

You deserved it 151

No control over my limbs

By Anonymous - 09/04/2023 18:00 - United States

Today, I was at the gym and I tripped on the treadmill. Not only did I fall off the machine, I also managed to knock over two other people's water bottles and send them flying across the room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 772

You deserved it 189

For posterity

By Anonymous - 09/09/2024 12:00 - United States - Norristown

Today, it was picture day at my school. After I got home, I realized my shirt was on inside out… and backwards. FML

I agree, your life sucks 141

You deserved it 428

Vent away

By GregIsGreg - 10/09/2024 14:00 - United States

Today, I was getting into a Uber after a long day at work. I opened the door, sat down, and started venting to the driver about my horrible day. Five minutes in, I realized I had climbed into a random stranger’s car. He didn’t even tell me; he just let me complain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 190

You deserved it 523

Mummy's boy

By anon - 16/09/2024 22:00 - Australia

Today, for some reason, I called my boss "Mum" in a meeting. To make it worse, I panicked and followed it up with, “Can I have a raise?” Everyone laughed except my boss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 161

You deserved it 441

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The Top

Today, I was taking a table's order. After I finished, the guy told me, "Just FYI, I'm not a tipper." Trying to lighten up the situation, I replied, "It's amazing how many people forget I handle their food." He complained to the manager that I'd threatened him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 781

You deserved it 10 189

Today, I received a DM on Facebook, from a woman I've never heard of, saying, "Eric X's wife says HI." She goes on to say that she is going to find me, and ruin my life the way I have ruined hers. I've never even heard of Eric X and am happily engaged. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 436

You deserved it 2 471

Today, I wanted to look really good for my date. I was a little self-conscious, so I decided to use Nair on my upper lip just in case I had a female mustache. Unfortunately, it turns out I'm allergic to Nair. Now I DO have a mustache. A rash mustache. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 025

You deserved it 16 624

Sometimes all you can do is sit back and let them get it out of their systems.

I agree, your life sucks 474

You deserved it 114

Today, I saw one of my best friends having sex with a girl at a party. It was the first time I'd ever seen a girl naked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 907

You deserved it 263

Today, I thought it would be fun to make a grand entrance at a party by doing a backflip through the door. I misjudged the height of the door frame, crashed my shins into it, and landed on my face right on a pile of shoes by the door. The host asked if I needed an ambulance. FML

I agree, your life sucks 130

You deserved it 1 392