Wake Up Call By FML Approved - 07/10/2017 03:00 The most frustrating sound ever. I agree, your life sucks 465 You deserved it 89 Share Tweet Share
Today, I hooked up with a man for the first time since my divorce. The sex was mind-blowing. His pillow talk then began with something like, “A cabal of Hollywood celebrities and political insiders want to rape your children…” I’m so dry now, I think I hit menopause. FML I agree, your life sucks 1 887 You deserved it 388
Today, after having to get the front filling on my tooth fixed five times, the dentist finally decided to give me a crown. While waiting for the permanent to be made, I had a temporary one put in. This one fell out five times. The final time, I actually sneezed it out. FML I agree, your life sucks 932 You deserved it 115
Today, I had to bribe my cousin with Monster Energy Drinks and Halo 5 so he wouldn't tell my mom I snuck out to meet a boy. I'm 24. FML I agree, your life sucks 22 385 You deserved it 8 542
Today, I can’t even find a place to rent. Every place has dozens of applications, with several offering well over asking price. I just graduated from college. FML I agree, your life sucks 886 You deserved it 119
Today, I went to see a movie with my parents. During a sex scene, my dad covered my eyes. I'm married and have 2 kids. FML I agree, your life sucks 9 992 You deserved it 988
Today, my girlfriend compared my penis to an ewok from Star Wars. She says it's short, stubby, and fuzzy. Now she sings the Star Wars theme when we hang out. FML I agree, your life sucks 48 201 You deserved it 8 983
This is usually followed by the "plotting their demise knowing that you will never actually act on it" phase.