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Classic

By Anonymous - 09/12/2025 12:00

Today, I tried to quietly leave a meeting early by slowly backing my chair away from the table. One wheel got stuck, the chair flipped, and I took the loudest fall of my life in total silence. FML

I agree, your life sucks 120

You deserved it 340

Rubbing it in

By Anonymous - 28/01/2026 03:00

Today, I was at a party at my ex's house; he'd invited the whole team. We of course don't talk, but I just figured out he had a girlfriend. He said it right in my face and laughed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 120

You deserved it 361

The work wife

By Anonymous - 16/06/2026 12:00 - United States - Milwaukee

Today, I found out that my favorite female coworker was in a car accident. When I told my girlfriend, her only reaction was to roll her eyes and sarcastically say, "Oh no." She then immediately, and very enthusiastically, asked if the accident killed her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 120

You deserved it 105

I need it, I want it

By Asshole - 24/03/2026 20:00

Today, I was at my boyfriend's apartment. He started coming on to me so I pushed him away and said, "No chance." He said "Well, I'm horny, so I'm gonna take care of it myself. Can you go home now?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 120

You deserved it 602

You really shouldn't have

By BB_Skylar - 11/10/2025 20:00

Today, I found that my (well-meaning and very kind) Dad cleaned up under my bed after a little mold problem. The problem? He cleaned up a few empty THC gummy containers and saw my dildo. And I thought living at home at uni was a good idea… FML

I agree, your life sucks 120

You deserved it 368

Work/life balancing act

By Clean up slob ass - 08/08/2025 22:00 - United States

Today, my husband was working from home, so I asked him to clean the living room and basement. He started yelling about how he needs to focus and that I can't be "constantly distracting him." Sorry for expecting you to care for the space you live in, dick. FML

I agree, your life sucks 120

You deserved it 1 257

Skint

By Cheap date - 30/10/2025 15:00

Today, my husband took me out for my birthday dinner. When it was time to pay, he took out a stack of gift cards. I asked where he got them, and he said he got them as a bundle at Costco, and saved sixty bucks on the meal. He then got annoyed with me when I told him it made me not want birthday sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 119

You deserved it 878

Swings and roundabouts

By Anonymous - 14/02/2026 03:00

Today, I went to a community center event to make friends in a new city. I introduced myself to someone who seemed cool, then realized they were the event organizer who thought I was a volunteer who hadn’t shown up for their shift. They politely asked me to help stack chairs. I spent the night stacking chairs instead of meeting people. Now I’m on the volunteer email list. FML

I agree, your life sucks 119

You deserved it 399

Goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend

By Anonymous - 15/02/2026 22:00

Today, the woman I thought I had friend-zoned dumped me because she has "met someone new." I really like her as a friend but felt zero attraction, so after one date I went out of my way not to give off the wrong signals when talking or meeting. It turns out she thought I was on my way out of the "relationship" anyway. FML

I agree, your life sucks 119

You deserved it 353

Emoji etiquette

By Anonymous - 12/09/2025 12:00 - United States

Today, my coworker texted me about her grandmother passing away. I meant to send a sad face but accidentally sent the party hat emoji. Now she probably thinks I was celebrating her grandma’s death. FML

I agree, your life sucks 119

You deserved it 309

I'm having a hard time, OK?

By Anonymous - 19/09/2025 15:00 - United States

Today, I handed my phone to the cashier so they could scan my digital coupons. I forgot I had my grocery list open in Notes. The top of the list read: “1) Wine. 2) More wine. 3) Emergency chocolate. 4) Hide evidence.” The cashier didn’t say anything, just smirked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 119

You deserved it 325

Not now, Alexa

By Anonymous - 25/07/2025 00:00 - United States

Today, I was having an intense argument with my girlfriend. At the height of it, in a rare moment of total silence, Alexa announced, “Now playing: ‘Someone Like You’ by Adele.” We both stopped, stared at the speaker, and then continued arguing while Adele sang on in the background. FML

I agree, your life sucks 119

You deserved it 352

Evel Knievel tribute act

By Anonymous - 25/02/2026 15:00

Today, I was riding down a hill on my bike, doing a wheelie, when I lost control and started heading towards a woman on the sidewalk. Don't worry, I didn't hit her, the man beside her lunged and shoved my bike so hard that I hit concrete and broke three teeth. He then screamed, "Watch it, punk!" and walked off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 119

You deserved it 853

Wise words of wisdom to consider

By Anonymous - 01/12/2025 00:00

Today, I realized that in some of my early relationships the girls were so possessive and pushed for merger and marriage that they scared me, so now I can only be reliably attracted to women who don't want me. The slightest sign of interest in more than a fling and I'm out. It's been like this for 30 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 119

You deserved it 421

Tech report

By Anonymous - 13/08/2025 09:00 - United States - Salt Lake City

Today, due to a change in our internal system, I set up an email filter at work that sent all incoming messages to spam. My boss had been sending me urgent updates all day, and I only realized when she came over and asked why I’d “gone radio silent.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 118

You deserved it 417

Tedious, yet annoying

By Bob - 30/09/2025 09:00

Today, I watched the Dallas Cowboys game, only for it to last for four hours and end in a 40-40 tie. FML

I agree, your life sucks 118

You deserved it 394

Am I still here?

By Anonymous - 12/01/2026 03:00

Today, I walked into the wrong classroom, sat down, took notes for ten minutes, and only realized my mistake when the professor asked me to introduce myself and explain why I was there. I wasn’t even enrolled in the class. FML

I agree, your life sucks 118

You deserved it 344

No more fun

By Single - 10/01/2026 12:00

Today, my fiancé called off our engagement because I told him, "I've had fun, now I want to settle down in life." According to him, our marriage should be our fun. I have no idea what he's talking about. Yeah, mortgages and babies are such fun. Idiot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 118

You deserved it 872

Sounds kinda unhealthy

By ToxicFamily - 15/08/2025 12:00 - Germany

Today, my brother-in-law is super mean and treats me like shit, but carries his wife on a golden platter. I've literally done more for him the past 10+ years of my marriage than his wife of 3 years. I've taken bank loans, packed countless lunches, washed so much laundry, all while his wife doesn't lift a finger for him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 118

You deserved it 699

Lighting in a bottle

By Anonymous - 17/01/2026 20:00

Today, I have an amazing girlfriend. She’s smart, funny, educated, gets along with my friends and family, but she’s such a snooze in the sack, it makes me miss my psycho ex. That woman was a toxic mess of a person but she could do things that would make a porn star blush. What’s wrong with me? FML

I agree, your life sucks 118

You deserved it 354

I want to ride my bicycle

By Baddad - 15/04/2026 09:00 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I assembled my kid’s birthday bike without reading the instructions. I proudly presented it, only for him to sit on it and immediately realize the handlebars were on backwards. The training wheels were also uneven, so it leaned like a sinking ship. My kid said, “It’s OK Dad, it's not your fault,” which hurt more than if he’d laughed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 118

You deserved it 531

Don't yuck peoples' yum

By I hate him - 06/10/2025 15:00

Today, my husband bought a Pokémon game and started playing it in bed. It's like I'm married to an eight year-old boy. Why can't I have a normal man, who reads books or even plays normal games for an adult? I can barely look at him without feeling ashamed for settling with such an overgrown child. FML

I agree, your life sucks 117

You deserved it 1 130

Don't mess with crazy

By Just a joke - 17/09/2025 15:00

Today, I saw my buddy at the mechanic's on speaker with his wife. I did a very fake female voice and said, “He’s here with me! He’s my man now!” He rushed home to see all his stuff on fire on the front lawn. I had no idea how psycho she was and now he wants to kill me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 117

You deserved it 670

Technology hates human

By I HATE THESE MACHINE - 12/10/2025 22:00

Today, I went through a self-checkout at a grocery store. The machine kept repeating, “Please remove the unexpected item in the bagging area.” After five attempts, an employee came over and discovered the “unexpected item” was my own elbow resting on the counter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 117

You deserved it 409

No, you go!

By Nervous - 17/01/2026 22:00

Today, I've only just got my license and waved someone through at a four-way stop because I was nervous. They waved back. We both kept waving while traffic built up behind us. Someone finally honked, and we both panicked and went at the same time. I stalled the car in the intersection. FML

I agree, your life sucks 117

You deserved it 429

Not cool

By Anonymous - 06/10/2025 22:00

Today, I was trying to shop in peace when a single mom with a whole herd of loud brats went tearing through the aisles. I told her that if her kids had fathers they wouldn’t behave that way. The oldest screamed, “Our daddy died!” causing all the kids to break into hysterics. The mom cried too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 116

You deserved it 1 438

Why would you even have that?

By Ellis - 06/09/2025 20:00 - United States - Ephrata

Today, I was on FB Messenger talking to one of my friends who is a pastor about getting together playing golf and I meant to send him an emoji in our conversation, but accidentally sent an emoji sticker of my wife and me doing doggystyle. I quickly deleted it on my side, but it was still visible on his side. FML

I agree, your life sucks 116

You deserved it 512

Footie woes

By Anonymous - 30/09/2025 00:00

Today, the owners of the team I support continue to employ a manager so bad that he has to be a double agent. Is it too much for a Manchester United fan to ask for, that we don't get relegated? FML

I agree, your life sucks 116

You deserved it 325

Self-esteem issues

By Anonymous - 07/06/2026 00:00 - United States

Today a cute coworker asked me out to lunch but I said no because I know how unattractive I am, and didn't think he wanted to be seen with me. He got really pissed and told me that I needed to work on my self-esteem. I just blew up something that could have been wonderful. FML

I agree, your life sucks 116

You deserved it 617

Little shit

By Tired mommy - 11/12/2025 00:00

Today, my son asked for candy at a supermarket checkout. I said no. He laid on the floor and began screaming as if I'd killed his pet rabbit. Other parents nodded at me in silent sympathy, while strangers judged me with their glares. I bought the candy. He still screamed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 116

You deserved it 580

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The Top

Today, the day before my wife and I leave for our 1 year anniversary trip, I realized my passport expires in 2014, not 2015. Instead of a week's stay at an all-inclusive resort in the Dominican Republic, we'll be spending three days in Louisville. Three angry days in Louisville. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 595

You deserved it 21 205

Today, my mom started getting ready for the Rapture. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 892

You deserved it 3 299

Today, I found out I have a huge infected boil on my vagina. The worst part was that I wasn't the one to discover this. My boyfriend was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 498

You deserved it 9 963

Today, my 24 year old girlfriend plugged her ears and stomped her feet while making really loud noises in our local video store. She then refused to stop until I agreed to rent and watch The Notebook with her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 774

You deserved it 15 274

Today, I found out my mom had been sleeping with most of my ex-boyfriends. When I was told about it the first time, I took it as a joke. Now I know it's true. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 445

You deserved it 144

Today, I tried to take a slow-motion video of myself flipping my hair like in a shampoo commercial. Instead, I hit my head against the shower door so hard that my shelf of cosmetics collapsed and landed in my toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 146

You deserved it 557