Your everyday life stories

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Winning - 07/12/2025 22:00

Today, I practiced a presentation in the work toilet mirror. When it was time to present, I accidentally repeated my “mirror pep talk” out loud: “You are powerful. You are unstoppable.” My coworkers stared like I was summoning spirits before a spreadsheet. FML

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Evil, prank, or just dumb?

Anonymous - 03/11/2025 00:00

Today, for some reason, my amazing dad told me to slide down towards a pole on a car tire while tobogganing down a hill and I hit the tire, consequently getting hurt in the head. I love my dad but something must've gone wrong that day. FML

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Crying

The poor bees - 02/02/2025 09:00 - United States - Richmond

Today, I went to a gathering at a friend's place. He had a bottle of "mead", which I tried and loved. Only after drinking two glasses did I learn that "mead" is made from honey. Eight years of dedicated veganism down the drain. FML

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Read the chatroom

Paul - 25/09/2025 03:00

Today, I logged into what I thought was my team’s Zoom meeting. I turned my camera on, waved, and said, “What’s up, nerds?” Unfortunately, I'd somehow joined a client onboarding call for the CEO. Nobody said anything for ten seconds, and then the CEO asked, “And you are…?” FML

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You gotta keep em up to dated

Anonymous - 11/11/2025 00:00

Today, I just wanted to make a Sims 4 house, but it turns out that it hadn't been updated in a while, and I didn't even know. So, I am currently waiting for the update to download, and it's taking so longggg. FML

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Human interface

Anonymous - 24/08/2025 12:00 - United States

Today, at a supermarket self-checkout, I loudly complained to the machine, “Why won’t you scan, you useless idiot?” An employee walked up behind me and said, “You need to press ‘Start.’” FML

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Classic power move

Anonymous - 15/02/2025 22:00 - Australia - Perth

Today, I tried to make a dramatic exit after arguing with my sibling. I slammed the front door behind me, only to realize my hoodie string was stuck in it. I had to awkwardly knock and ask to be let back in. FML

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Lost

Anonymous - 15/11/2025 09:00

Today, at a fancy restaurant, I walked into the restroom. After washing my hands, I looked up and noticed the urinals and the sudden presence of three very confused men. I had walked into the men’s bathroom. I pretended to check my phone like I was lost. FML

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New look, huh?

Dave - 15/06/2025 00:00 - United Kingdom - Manchester

Today, I tried a new beard trimmer that has a laser guide. I somehow set it too close to my skin and shaved a completely bald line straight through the middle of my beard. Now I look like a magician with a flesh mustache divider, or a bassist from a 90s nu-metal band. FML

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Noise pollution

BRUH imma cut you - 15/05/2025 16:00 - United States - New York

Today, I was hanging in the street with the boys, listening to some jams on my car's new speaker system. Some asshole from the apartments above me threw a bag of trash at my car. Direct hit. FML

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Classic

Anonymous - 09/12/2025 12:00

Today, I tried to quietly leave a meeting early by slowly backing my chair away from the table. One wheel got stuck, the chair flipped, and I took the loudest fall of my life in total silence. FML

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Work/life balancing act

Clean up slob ass - 08/08/2025 16:00 - United States

Today, my husband was working from home, so I asked him to clean the living room and basement. He started yelling about how he needs to focus and that I can't be "constantly distracting him." Sorry for expecting you to care for the space you live in, dick. FML

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I think I should leave

jonathan - 17/02/2025 20:00 - France

Today, I was talking on the phone about how my son's babysitter is an absolute sicko, that she smoked weed next to my baby, that she smells bad, etc. I literally said her full name and the way she looks. Then I felt a hand on my shoulder; it was her, and she'd heard absolutely everything. FML

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Preppers

I tried - 09/10/2025 00:00

Today, I told my roommate I'd meal-prepped a whole week's worth of food. Hours later, I found all my perfectly packed containers… in the freezer. I meant to refrigerate them, but now I have seven blocks of chicken-and-rice ice sculptures. FML

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Sounds kinda unhealthy

ToxicFamily - 15/08/2025 12:00 - Germany

Today, my brother-in-law is super mean and treats me like shit, but carries his wife on a golden platter. I've literally done more for him the past 10+ years of my marriage than his wife of 3 years. I've taken bank loans, packed countless lunches, washed so much laundry, all while his wife doesn't lift a finger for him. FML

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Cranking it

Anonymous - 26/01/2026 12:00

Today, I was rushing around like a lunatic trying to get my shit together and knocked on my son's door a few times. The fourth time I did it, he shouted at me to just fuck off already because he’s trying to have a wank. Oops, and TMI son, TMI. FML

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Thanks, YouTube!

Okkkkkkk - 04/02/2025 20:00 - United States - Buffalo

Today, I tried to trim my beard before a date. I watched a YouTube tutorial and thought, "How hard could it be?" Turns out, very hard. I ended up with one side of my beard looking fabulous and the other side looking like a patch of dried grass. I had to cancel the date and spent the evening watching Netflix with my cats. FML

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Hero

Anonymous - 13/10/2025 15:00

Today, I saw a guy struggling with weights at the gym so I tried to help. I grabbed one side of the barbell to “steady” it and instantly realized it weighed about as much as a fridge. I dropped it, tripped over the bench, and took out a water bottle display. He just said, “Thanks, hero.” FML

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D'oh!

Anonymous - 02/01/2026 09:00

Today, I checked the mail. It was New Year's Day. I didn't realize my mistake until someone else pointed it out and I let out a "D'oh!" like Homer Simpson. FML

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Take your time

Anonymous - 12/09/2025 09:00 - United States

Today, while brushing my teeth before a date, I sneezed so hard that toothpaste flew all over my clean shirt. I was already running late, so I panicked and tried to wipe it off with water. It left huge wet spots. I showed up looking like I had just lost a fight with a giant toothbrush. FML

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Tech report

Anonymous - 13/08/2025 09:00 - United States - Salt Lake City

Today, due to a change in our internal system, I set up an email filter at work that sent all incoming messages to spam. My boss had been sending me urgent updates all day, and I only realized when she came over and asked why I’d “gone radio silent.” FML

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Where are they going??

Anonymous - 23/12/2025 15:00

Today, I ordered a food delivery and tracked it obsessively because I was starving. When it 'arrived', I realized I’d sent it to my old address from two years ago. Support said it was “successfully delivered.” Somewhere, a stranger is enjoying my dinner while I eat crackers. FML

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Sounds more like a "you" problem

Anonymous - 04/03/2025 20:00 - United States - Minneapolis

Today, in the changing room at my gym, you'd never see my D. I'm very strategic and my towel or shirt will always block it. Today there was a dad-bod walking nude to the mirror without a towel. I saw his. There was bush of hair surrounding a pale pink little acorn. How does he have the confidence? How is he not shy? FML

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Quiet despair

Anonymous - 13/05/2025 15:00 - Australia

Today, I got into an elevator with a really hunky guy. We exchanged polite greetings, then, for some reason, I tried to break the silence by saying, "Nice weather today, huh?" He nodded, but then I awkwardly continued, “Too bad we’re stuck in here.” He gave me a confused look as the doors opened right on cue. FML

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Am I the asshole?

Anonymous - 09/06/2025 13:00 - Romania

Today, I stayed home from work to pick up my Switch 2. As I raced into the house and prepared for the magic of unboxing it, my wife called and ruined the moment by blathering about her boring day. FML

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Screen time

I hate myself - 25/03/2025 09:00 - United States - San Jose

Today, I realized I had been staring at my phone for an hour without doing anything else. When I looked up, I noticed my mom had been standing in the doorway, shaking her head at me for a solid five minutes. I hadn’t noticed her. I wish I could use this laser focus to study for my college exams instead of wasting my time doomscrolling Instagram. FML

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Skint

Cheap date - 30/10/2025 15:00

Today, my husband took me out for my birthday dinner. When it was time to pay, he took out a stack of gift cards. I asked where he got them, and he said he got them as a bundle at Costco, and saved sixty bucks on the meal. He then got annoyed with me when I told him it made me not want birthday sex. FML

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Emoji etiquette

Anonymous - 12/09/2025 12:00 - United States

Today, my coworker texted me about her grandmother passing away. I meant to send a sad face but accidentally sent the party hat emoji. Now she probably thinks I was celebrating her grandma’s death. FML

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I'm having a hard time, OK?

Anonymous - 19/09/2025 15:00 - United States

Today, I handed my phone to the cashier so they could scan my digital coupons. I forgot I had my grocery list open in Notes. The top of the list read: “1) Wine. 2) More wine. 3) Emergency chocolate. 4) Hide evidence.” The cashier didn’t say anything, just smirked. FML

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Technology hates human

I HATE THESE MACHINE - 12/10/2025 22:00

Today, I went through a self-checkout at a grocery store. The machine kept repeating, “Please remove the unexpected item in the bagging area.” After five attempts, an employee came over and discovered the “unexpected item” was my own elbow resting on the counter. FML

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Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, my son tried to go viral by livestreaming himself walking down our busy street while talking to his "chat", while my other son came up and lamped him with a punch to the side of the head, pretending to be a stranger, or a "hater". I hate this streaming shit, but I never thought I'd raised clout chasing morons. FML

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Today, my father told me he hasn't brushed his teeth for 30 years: he just wipes them with paper towels. I don't know whether to be horribly disgusted, or horribly jealous that he has never gotten a cavity. FML

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Today, my friends tried to set me up with another nice, quiet girl. My type are girls who can do their own oil change. I'm mute and tired of people assuming I'm either the nice quiet guy or a complete jerk who won't talk to anyone. FML

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Today, I found out that, despite working 4 part-time jobs, that I will not qualify for maternity leave by my due date with the mandatory 600 hours. I can't get full-time work and I'm 8 months pregnant now. This'll be fun! FML

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Today, my friends were making fun of my clumsiness. I replied that I was not clumsy, and to prove it I was going to go the whole day without messing up. As I said this, I tripped over an extension cord and hit my head on a desk. FML

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Today, I'm in the hospital and it's been 44 hours since I've eaten anything. My doctors won't let me eat and my parents are sitting across the room, eating. FML

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