Wurdz is hard

By Holy Testacles - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, a cute girl sitting next to me asked if she could use my phone. As I handed it to her, I attempted to use the expression, "Knock yourself out," but for a reason I can still not fathom, it came out as, "Kill yourself." FML
I agree, your life sucks 31 194
You deserved it 7 971
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Top comments

IconicLemon 8

HAHAHA. Your's and her face would have been priceless!

302 8

Comments

greenie213 23

If that doesn't work, you can always use my old favorite. It has to do with Fred Flintstone and bedrock.

18 5
DocBastard 38

Yeah, that happens. Last night I meant to ask Mrs. Bastard to pass the salt, but instead I accidentally said "YOU BITCH! YOU REALLY ****** UP MY LIFE!" Simple Freudian slip.

65 2
gc327072 30

Oh c'mon doc, we all know that pretty girls can be a bit overwhelming.

17 3
gc327072 30

You talkin to me, robot?

11 1
gc327072 30

Dammit! I really need to go make an account with a better username, but I'd have to make a new email address... And how was I being a kiss ass? I was refuting his point.

10 0
DocBastard 38

Will you two get a room already? The sexual tension is palpable.

23 0
gc327072 30

I think we need an octagon, actually.

5 0
The_Milfman 6

Shoulda gone "kill yourself before you kill someone with those amazing looks you are amazing"

4 4
weeabaka 6

Yes. All of that. Without pauses indicating any sentence structure whatsoever. You'll be a real hit.

2 0
ben827 10

It happens to the best of us, OP. There are more girls out there. Don't get worked up over this. Also, just apologize to her, maybe you still have a chance.

0 0
BGSU2012 3

LOL!!! Thanks for my morning laugh. That does suck though. Sorry OP

1 0
wlddog 14

Maybe he could have swapped to the old tried and true kidnap pickup line and send her screaming down the road.

0 3
PipingMouse 14

Never say "kill yourself" to a girl. They hold grudges :P Hope you apologized quickly, or explained yourself OP.

4 0
lovepandorasaver 11

If it was a nokia she could of used it as a hammer haha

3 1