Miscellaneous: What is it, sweetie?

What is it, sweetie?

By WTF - 16/01/2013 07:52

Today, I came home to find my girlfriend crying. Concerned, I quickly asked her what was wrong. She told me tearfully that she couldn't understand why her pet lizards hadn’t grown into dinosaurs yet, and that pet store had cheated her. I’m still concerned now, but for entirely different reasons. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 596

You deserved it 4 359

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Same thing different taste

By Hunter cat - 02/11/2018 13:30

Today, when I got back to my bedroom, I found my cat had left not one, not two, but four dead lizards for me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 351

You deserved it 387

By steve - 05/09/2012 08:14 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, my girlfriend dumped me because I didn't take her pet rock seriously. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 090

You deserved it 5 352

Safe space

By Anonymous - 13/03/2010 01:00 - United States

Today, my girlfriend got into a huge fight with her mom over the phone. After the fight, she looked ready to cry so I went over to comfort her. She went straight past me, and started confiding in her creepy, extremely expensive dolls instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 893

You deserved it 3 151

By Pip - 23/02/2010 21:13 - United States

Today, my girlfriend was crying. I asked her what was wrong, and she said her husband was going to divorce her for seeing me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 939

You deserved it 6 714

Mom know best

By Anonymous - 27/01/2023 15:00

Today, I realized my mom was right. I should have listened to her and not gotten a pet alligator. FML

I agree, your life sucks 146

You deserved it 1 698

By Anonymous - 30/08/2011 17:35 - Canada

Today, I tried to impress the guy I like. He breeds reptiles, and I happen to have a snake and a lizard. I went over to his house to show them off. He opened the door just as my lizard fell between my boobs. He had to help me get it out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 409

You deserved it 12 882

NEXT!

By Anonymous - 28/10/2024 22:00 - United States - Newark

Today, I was on a date with a girl I've been crushing on for a while. At one point we started talking about pets we'd had. I wanted to show my sensitive side, so I told her how I sadly had to get my beloved cat euthanized earlier that week, and had buried her in my backyard. Her response? "Ew." FML

I agree, your life sucks 419

You deserved it 146

Nosaurus

By bibi - 19/03/2012 23:43 - Slovenia - Ljubljana

Today, I went to see a dinosaur exhibition with my mum. We walked around and saw a huge dinosaur, made of plastic and rubber. She was very disappointed, saying that she thought there would be real live dinosaurs for us to see. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 651

You deserved it 2 698

By SFra - 24/10/2012 01:19 - United States

Today, I went to the Natural History Museum with my boyfriend. While we were standing in front of real dinosaur bones, he told me he didn't believe in dinosaurs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 847

You deserved it 3 090

Weird reason

By Anonymous - 01/01/2016 10:33 - United States - Antioch

Today, my girlfriend furiously bitched me out because I got more upset about my phone screen cracking than when she told me about the death of her cat. We hadn't even met when her cat died. Did she expect me to burst into tears from hearing the story? Guess who's single again… FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 164

You deserved it 3 458

DooleyFTW 17

Wednesday 16 January 2013 16:07

She obviously hasn't been exposing them to enough radioactive waste!

Pleonasm 35

Wednesday 16 January 2013 16:07

Yea, I found out the other day that I am infertile. I bought a pet chimpanzee and raised him and everything, and WTF? He isn't turning into a human?? Like how is this possible? I though people came from apes? Anyway this isn't Grow Your Own T-Rex. I bet the salesman just told her that iguanas turned into Dinosaurs to seal the deal on that 500 metre squared terrarium that the shop couldn't get rid of.

Comments

kingsian 15

Wednesday 16 January 2013 16:17

Tell her they're miniature dinosaurs and give them plenty of love.

MeLikeBigBoom 8

Wednesday 16 January 2013 16:17

Over the night replace it with a Komodo dragon and see how she likes dinosaur like creatures.

Trinity1836 11

Wednesday 16 January 2013 17:09

Or a bearded dragon. After a month replace it with a small Green Iguana, its safe, cute and closer to dinosaurs. And it won't affect your budget as much. Iguanas are easy to care for :)

skyeyez9 24

Wednesday 16 January 2013 16:17

Tell her to buy an alligator and feed it fresh meat every day. He will eventually grow to be 20ft long and practically as big as a dinosaur. If it doesn't eat her until then.

Sredit 11

Wednesday 16 January 2013 16:21

Don't worry about the dinosaurs, they take time but your girlfriend, when will she grow into a functioning human being? That's what I would be crying about.

jogihoppa8343 23

Wednesday 16 January 2013 16:22

is your girlfriend a decendant of the great Don Quixote?? perhaps she's suffering from some daydreaming disorder..

loserman67 35

Wednesday 16 January 2013 16:28

Tell her that she actually got very lucky and the pet store sold her an extremely rare breed of dwarf dinosaurs.

fleur_de_fevrier_fml 22

Wednesday 16 January 2013 16:31

Well she should consider herself lucky. imagine the cost of maintaining a live-in dinosaur!

mistercrow 9

Wednesday 16 January 2013 16:36

Okay now that's just really freaking sad. Something aint gone right when she was being raised or she never read enough books or she just didn't take enough time to actually learn....more like **** Her Life.