Health: Today, my parents are on holiday, which means I have the house... - FML

By partypooper - 18/01/2012 15:29 - United Kingdom

Today, my parents are on holiday, which means I have the house to myself. Wild parties? Hot girls? Loads of beer? No. Flu. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 960

You deserved it 6 705

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Same thing different taste

Caught in 4K

By its_all_legit - 19/03/2009 03:47 - United States

Today, my parents, who are out of town but driving back tomorrow, called to see how I was doing. They asked if I'd thrown a party in their absence, and I said no. My dad replied, "Well I'm currently looking at pictures on Facebook of our kitchen with beer and a bong on the table." FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 466

You deserved it 127 874

By Anonymous - 16/06/2010 23:16 - United States

Today, after weeks of looking forward to my birthday trip to the beach, I've come down with a serious case of the flu. My family is still going without me, but at least now they don't have to pay someone to watch the dog. Happy birthday to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 960

You deserved it 2 753

Freedom

By notsoaloneanymore - 17/06/2016 04:32 - Canada - Mississauga

Today, my parents left on vacation for the week. Taking advantage of my freedom, I was planning on having my boyfriend over. My grandparents just showed up as they "thought I would be lonely." I can't get rid of them. Looks like I'm not having any fun this week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 092

You deserved it 3 188

By Lichelle - 10/03/2009 21:30 - United States

Today, my parents got back from their weekend ski trip. I had a few parties over the weekend and had cleaned up absolutely EVERYTHING; beer cans, throw up, spilled drinks, etc. The only thing I forgot about was the condom someone left in my parents bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 110

You deserved it 72 752

By blah - 10/04/2009 10:17 - United States

Today, I had a bunch of parties while my parents were out of town. I made sure to clean up absolutely everything, I even vacuumed the stairs. As they pulled up, I noticed all of the trash bags filled with beer cans blocking their way into the garage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 553

You deserved it 80 704

Soooooooo late 2020

By Anonymous - 17/05/2024 00:00 - United States - Van Nuys

Today, I might have Covid and this weekend is my birthday weekend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 360

You deserved it 123

By whosurdaddy - 06/01/2017 06:44

Today, I'm attending a party where drunken women just can't seem to keep their clothes on. Those drunken women are my daughters. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 101

You deserved it 1 450

By Anonymous - 26/11/2013 16:43 - United States - Erie

Today, I had a family get-together for my birthday. I got to watch all my family members get piss-drunk and argue over who's having the worst time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 090

You deserved it 3 573

Quality family vacation

By Anonymous - 12/08/2025 15:00 - Netherlands - Rotterdam

Today, I’m on holiday with my kids and crazy wife, who often throws a temper tantrum towards us. We have rented an apartment in front of a pool. There's a heat wave but because we are all infected with Impetigo, we can’t use it. On top of that, I’ve developed a sun allergy and eczema, so I’m just inside, with no AC, FML

I agree, your life sucks 371

You deserved it 109

By Jaclk - 24/04/2012 21:28 - United States - Needham

Today, my parents went out of town and I was home all alone. I put up party decorations such as streamers, balloons and confetti. Then, I drank out of red cups, crushed them up and put them all over the house. I didn't have a party, I just wanted to convince my family that I'm not a loser. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 894

You deserved it 19 819

Next

Top comments

123josie123 11

Wednesday 18 January 2012 18:59

Aww get well soon! *cyberhugs*

TheMaster15 10

Wednesday 18 January 2012 19:00

Eat some chicken noodle soup and party anyways :D

Comments

pipercub17 5

Thursday 19 January 2012 4:53

Suck it up and party anyways

salsa324 0

Thursday 19 January 2012 4:59

And sleep all day

Tdevonner 0

Thursday 19 January 2012 5:07

Op def might not be underage, im 23 n JUSTTT moved back in with my parents who are über jesusy and theyre goin outta town nxt weekend n as soon as they leave im poppin a bottle n gettin some penis...(if ur wondering I got a job in their home town n am apartment shopping...no im not a lazy bum)

skulskinator 5

Thursday 19 January 2012 5:14

Suck it up u pussy

mattclark 0

Thursday 19 January 2012 5:16

Don't be a little bitch

UmadBreeze 3

Thursday 19 January 2012 5:35

That sucks so much,:( get better though!

Lola_Von 5

Thursday 19 January 2012 5:37

Damn!..

Fmlsea 28

Thursday 19 January 2012 5:44

U saved urself alot of cleaning and shit

laura_anne11 0

Thursday 19 January 2012 6:00

omg im in the same situation right now! feelin ur pain buddy!

ImSoEffedUp 10

Thursday 19 January 2012 6:17

If you have the house to yourself while your parents are on vacation.... Sounds like you're too old to be living at home....

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Today, after finally applying myself and busting my butt all semester, I found out the school is accusing me of cheating because they couldn't believe I could have gotten near-perfect grades considering my grade history. If this is how society rewards academic turnarounds, why do I even bother? FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 039

You deserved it 1 200

Today, while at work, I was asked to see my boss. I was informed that the company would be laying off 20 people, and that I was one of them. I was told I could finish off the week, then was sent back to work. Twenty minutes later, my boss walked around and handed us all Christmas party invitations. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 832

You deserved it 2 470

Today, an unknown number left me a lengthy voicemail of what sounds like two people having sex. This is the closest I've gotten to real-life sex in 2 years. I listened to it three times. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 229

You deserved it 10 275

Today, my best friend told me I'm the friend who no one really likes. This was after I had bought her lunch, ice cream, and a ticket to a movie we were going to see that day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 665

You deserved it 5 158

Today, I was dared to walk home through a rough part of town. My rep hung in the balance, so I accepted. A kid kicked a football in my direction, so I kicked it back at him hard. It hit him in the nuts, and the next thing I know, I'm running for my life from three bald, shirtless, six-packed thugs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 812

You deserved it 37 601

Today, I got home from a holiday to find out that my flatmate had thrown a party. Everything seemed fine at first, then I noticed that someone had taken a dump in my running shoes that were in my bedroom closet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 504

You deserved it 83