Intimacy: Today, at a family Seder, (a Jewish service for Passover), my...

By anon13 - 12/04/2009 04:27 - United States

Today, at a family Seder, (a Jewish service for Passover), my mom served matzah balls during the festive meal. Considering how much I love matzah balls and there aren't many options for me to eat because I'm a vegetarian, I shouted, "I like really big balls!" in front of my entire family. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 618

You deserved it 94 957

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Same thing different taste

By porkeater - 16/07/2009 15:02 - United States

Today, we went up for visitor's day for my son's Jewish summer camp. We don't keep kosher, but most of his fellow campers do. When we went around in the circle saying our favorite foods, he said, "My mom makes the best pork chops." We got dirty looks for the rest of the day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 408

You deserved it 13 651

By Anonymous - 21/06/2012 14:52 - United States - Medway

Today, when I told my family I was a vegetarian, I expected them to make fun of me because that's just my family. But what I wasn't expecting was my dad to use raw meat as a puppet and make it say, "Eat me! Eat me!" then throw it at my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 283

You deserved it 7 813

Happy Birthday

By Birthday Boy - 06/12/2017 05:00

Today, my family asked where I wanted to go for my birthday dinner. They shot down my every suggestion and decided on sushi. I'm allergic, so the only thing I could eat was a veggie appetizer. Dad said I need to "expand my palate." FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 177

You deserved it 352

By daughterofanazi - 08/02/2012 05:17 - United States

Today, my boyfriend came over to my parents' house for dinner. My dad made Holocaust jokes the entire time. My boyfriend is Jewish. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 782

You deserved it 4 657

Tasty treat

By Heather - 09/05/2025 22:00 - Australia

Today, my mom tried a new recipe for dinner. She proudly served what she called "gourmet vegetable stew." One bite later, I had to fight every urge to not gag. She asked me how it tasted, and with a straight face, I said, "Delicious!" She then asked for my honest opinion, so I told her it was, um, "an acquired taste." She hasn’t spoken to me since. FML

I agree, your life sucks 426

You deserved it 78

By aabadaba - 01/04/2013 05:23 - United States - La Mirada

Today, my Jewish boyfriend came over for my extended family's Easter party. My grandmother made fun of him for being Jewish so badly, that he left, crying. She doesn't see what she did wrong. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 507

You deserved it 4 663

The best day of your life

By sadbride - 09/10/2018 13:30

Today, my mom told me she is serving lasagna and Italian cream cake at my bridal shower. I'm severely lactose intolerant, which I have been telling her for years. She responded by telling me, and I quote, "The food is for the guests." FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 335

You deserved it 301

By Balls - 27/05/2017 22:00 - Australia - Abbotsford

Today, for my family, my most impressive quality is I can make spaghetti and meatballs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 468

You deserved it 558

By BFH4Life - 30/11/2011 09:27 - United Kingdom

Today, my dad announced to the whole family that we will be having a vegetarian dinner this Christmas to make my step-mum happy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 961

You deserved it 5 757

By Anonymous - 08/12/2013 20:39 - United States

Today, I was chatting with my mother. She was telling me about some new mouthwash she recently got, and the moment the word "gargle" escaped her lips, my husband muttered just a little too loudly from the kitchen, "How about gargling my balls instead, bitch." Our family is now at war. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 048

You deserved it 5 791

Aethren 0

Sunday 12 April 2009 16:06

Today I forgot to put sugar in my coffee, FML.

ijkl0marissa 0

Sunday 12 April 2009 16:01

Uhm.. why did you shout that? Besides, matzo ball soup (at least at my seder) has chicken in it, and is served in broth, so it isn't a very vegetarian option..

Comments

lolwhat_fml 0

Sunday 12 April 2009 18:41

# 40, its people like you that make the world ****** up. Go die, you piece of shit. And to the OP, i love matza ball soup! im not even Jewish C: This isnt a pretty funny FML though ;D

KamiKaze_Nation 0

Sunday 12 April 2009 18:46

I know what you mean only being able to eat certain things by being a vegetarian. Being a flexitarian (I don't eat meat when I can, but when I have no choice the only meat I eat is chicken.) I often can only eat bread, pasta, or something along the lines of that. Being home for Easter, today I'll probably have pizza or a peanut butter sandwich on wheat bread while the family has Ham and other food I won't eat. I'm also an extremely picky eater.

SpunkT 0

Sunday 12 April 2009 18:54

#40, go choke on something.

survivalism 0

Sunday 12 April 2009 19:06

Thanks for explaining what a Seder is, I didn't know because I'm stupid.

artykat 0

Sunday 12 April 2009 19:15

I did that exact same thing. It was really awkward because you could tell my mom wanted to laugh, but she didn't want to corrupt me just in case I ddn't understand the pervertedness of the statement.

MaiLouIsLegend 0

Sunday 12 April 2009 19:15

Hahah YOU had balls for screaming it out lolx. But hey who said big balls were a bad thing? Laugh it off & just tell 'em you were just kidding im sure they would too. :]

jdkfgkjdfb 0

Sunday 12 April 2009 19:17

That reminds me of a time a few years ago when my family was hiking with another family. We stopped to eat lunch, and the other family's son (who was about 7 or 8 at the time, I think) had eaten all of his trail mix except most of the nuts. He then said very loudly, "WHO WANTS THE REST OF MY NUTS?" Everybody started laughing, and he didn't get why. His mom said to him, "Oh, you'll want them later," which he still didn't understand.

hockeygirl202 0

Sunday 12 April 2009 19:20

not a big deal.

Amphysvena 11

Sunday 12 April 2009 19:26

I suppose the best answer to the people who keep asking why he put big in front of it is that in the context of the sentence, "I like really balls" doesn't make much sense.