Intimacy, Sex and Relief: Sex vs. housework

Sex vs. housework

By hesitator - This FML is from back in 2017 but it's good stuff - Slovenia - Ljubljana

Today, I got excited over a canceled booty call, just so I wouldn't have to clean the apartment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 061

You deserved it 1 125

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Same thing different taste

Lonely but tidy

By anon - 30/10/2024 20:00 - United States

Today, I spent an hour cleaning my apartment because I thought I had a date coming over. Right as they were supposed to arrive, they canceled because they “got too tired.” Now it’s just me, alone in a spotless apartment, watching a terrible documentary on Netflix. FML

I agree, your life sucks 487

You deserved it 106

Dating sucks

By Anonymous - 26/02/2023 06:00

Today, I spent three hours cleaning my apartment for a date. I then took a nap, only to wake up to find my cat had destroyed the place. Lucky for me, my date never showed up, and I ended the evening drinking Prosecco while sadly swiping through Tinder. FML

I agree, your life sucks 904

You deserved it 170

Joy!

By KiwiMaid - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - New Zealand - Wellington

Today, I got excited because my husband will be away for 5 days, which means I'll be able to deep clean the house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 259

You deserved it 2 258

Accomplished

By Stevey - 24/12/2025 15:00

Today, I finally cleaned my apartment and felt accomplished. I took the trash out, walked back in, and promptly locked myself out in slippers, holding nothing but a banana. I sat on the stairs waiting for help, questioning every life choice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 253

You deserved it 197

By gypsy - 24/06/2011 02:00 - Australia

Today, I hired a cleaner to clean my apartment so when my in-laws visited tonight, they wouldn't think I was lazy. I got home from work, the cleaner hadn't shown at all, and my in-laws had arrived early. My mother-in-law is now mopping the floors. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 301

You deserved it 37 781

Productive

By Anonymous - 04/05/2023 22:00 - Sweden

Today, in an effort to actually be productive for once, I decided to clean out my closet. However, I ended up getting distracted by old photos, started crying over past relationships and dead pets, and didn't end up getting anything done whatsoever. FML

I agree, your life sucks 745

You deserved it 420

By Noname - 16/01/2009 23:19 - Canada

Today, I decided to clean my room, find a job, and ask a girl on a date. I ended up playing video games online instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 291

You deserved it 45 079

Never enough

By Unappreciated - 15/09/2025 12:00

Today, I spent the day busting my butt to clean the house. As I tumbled into bed at the end of the day, exhausted, my wife looked at me and said, "Maybe you can get something done tomorrow?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 446

You deserved it 104

Sneaky sneaky...

By Snowflakepandi - 01/09/2017 13:00

Today, while on vacation, I found out that my boyfriend moved out. He had claimed that he couldn't come with me because his boss messed up his time off request, and for the last two days he said he'd been "cleaning". FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 497

You deserved it 323

The joys of spring

By pukeytimes - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - Australia - Leichhardt

Today, I decided to do a good bit of spring cleaning. When my apartment was finally spotless I went to lie down. I woke up later to find my drunk flatmate passed out in a puddle of her own puke on the living room's carpet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 266

You deserved it 2 328

RichardPencil 30

Saturday 1 July 2017 19:14

You clean an apartment for a first date, not a booty call. Evidently, the calling booty is not that hot.

azouwa 26

Saturday 1 July 2017 22:46

No judgement here. I'm the same way.

Comments

D-MacOPsquad 15

Thursday 13 July 2017 6:09

He has the right priorities in life, I do believe.

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The Top

Today, I had to use the bathroom really badly in a drug store. After I did a #2, just as I realized the handle on the toilet was broken, a knock came at the door. I tried fixing it for ten minutes, before slipping out the door, to come face to face with two employees coming to fix the toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 898

You deserved it 2 791

Today, my girlfriend came over to me, like she was going to kiss me, and instead rubbed her chin all over my face, exclaiming, "Can you feel my beard coming in?" Yes, yes I could. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 365

You deserved it 4 246

Today, I drove three and a half hours to surprise my long distance boyfriend for our anniversary. He was out of town. Where was he? Three and a half hours away trying to surprise me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 677

You deserved it 8 174

Today, my wife took herself, the kids, and extended family members I've never even heard of to New York. She paid the 7,000$ bill with my credit card. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 436

You deserved it 4 698

Today, I had sex for the first time with my boyfriend. It was his first time too. While in bed, he blankly stopped and stood up and got out a piece of paper from his pocket. Turns out he'd written instructions on what to do while in bed, and forgot what he had to do next. FML

I agree, your life sucks 139 503

You deserved it 14 525

Today, my wife admitted that she settled for me because I had a good job and made enough for her to live comfortably. I shouldn't worry though, because now she's old enough that she won't be able to pull anyone more exciting or attractive. FML

I agree, your life sucks 537

You deserved it 84

Same thing different taste

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