Intimacy POLICE! OPEN UP! - FML

POLICE! OPEN UP!

Obee - 14/04/2009 14:05 - Canada

Today, cops showed up at my apartment demanding to look inside. Satisfied with the search, they told me they had received a noise complaint. More specifically, hearing screams someone believed a girl was getting raped. I had two friends over and we had been wrestling. The three of us are male. FML

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Chinese New Year: Dragons and Laughter
Celebrate with stories where tradition and humor meet for a colorful Chinese New Year. …

Anonymous - 12/02/2016 00:15 - United States - San Francisco

Today, while I was cleaning, listening to music and sometimes singing along, I heard a knock on my front door. I turned off the music and opened the door to the police, who stated they had to investigate reports of "repeated female screams" coming from my apartment. I'm a 23 year old man. FML

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Anonymous - 08/04/2011 23:42 - United States

Today, I was having some intense sex with my boyfriend. I was wailing so loud that my neighbors decided to call the police on us. According to them, it sounded like I was "being tortured to death". FML

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What up EWU Crew?

mario - 30/12/2025 09:00

Today, the cops were called on our apartment because they heard angry yelling and loud screams. I was having a Mario Kart party with some friends over and we got too into the game. FML

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Private freakout

emmy - 03/06/2022 00:00

Today, the neighbors called the cops on us because they heard a series of loud screams. No, no one was being murdered, but my mom found one of my socks in the laundry room. FML

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avocadotoe - 14/11/2016 06:52 - United States - Big Bear Lake

Today, my boyfriend and I were house sitting. We were a little on edge because we'd heard noises. We were starting to get intimate, and suddenly the house alarm started going off. We locked ourselves in the room, called the police, and they told us that we were the ones who'd set it off. FML

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CAchickadee - 29/05/2011 04:27 - United States

Today, I was singing while unloading my dishwasher. I heard a knock on the door and went to answer it only to find the police telling me they received noise complaints from my neighbors. I live next-door to my parents. FML

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AussieG75 - 21/07/2012 04:48 - United States - Saint Augustine

Today, I heard screaming coming from my neighbor's house. Since her husband has a history of abusing her, I called the cops. After they left with him in custody, she called to yell at me because they were "working things out" after "having a few drinks". FML

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whoawhoawhoa - 28/12/2010 22:04 - Canada

Today, my boyfriend and I heard my parents going at it upstairs. He said, "sounds like they're having more fun than we did." To make it worse, he crept to their door and put his ear to it, telling me what he heard. FML

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Nice neighborhood

Anonymous - 11/10/2015 15:34 - United States - Lexington

Today, I awoke to the sound of my neighbors attacking my car with a baseball bat accusing me of calling the cops on them. I did call the cops on them, after they screamed at me last night, drunkenly, to call the cops for them because they thought they were being robbed. FML

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MALICEG - 26/05/2012 07:00 - United States - Oklahoma City

Today, there was a knock on my apartment door. It was the man from next-door, who sarcastically asked if I was alright, because he said he heard me screaming in agony. I was singing. FML

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kristenlee 3

Tuesday 14 April 2009 20:06

I don't think you were just wrestling...

SKYblue_fml 1

Tuesday 14 April 2009 20:04

Well, at least they knew that there wasn't a girl involved...

lakergurl91 0

Saturday 20 June 2009 23:24

Tell the truth is "wrestling" a code for THREESOME?? Smile Jesus loves you =)

Subal_fml 8

Tuesday 23 June 2009 17:19

Pics please.

obama1234 0

Tuesday 28 July 2009 4:37

hahahahahaha i guess you three should learn to keep it pg for next time

railfan_fml 0

Saturday 5 September 2009 0:03

ouch. but those guys are trained to asume the worst anyway.

campbellshayla73 0

Monday 22 February 2010 2:01

lol wow when my older bro wrestles wit his friends I swear that might happen

pinkerton015 0

Thursday 22 April 2010 21:34

hahahahaha! that's just awesome.

sexton 0

Saturday 10 July 2010 7:19

dude hurry up and hit puberty already.

thefmlinator 10

Saturday 2 October 2010 23:48

oh sorry the sounds were coming from my apartment

Re_boot_zzz 0

Sunday 24 October 2010 12:22

wish i was there

big_shag 0

Friday 10 December 2010 2:08

1. why is this in intimacy? 2. define wrestleing ****

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Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, my mom visited. While she was using the bathroom, my man-child of a husband thought it would be funny to knock on the bathroom door with his penis, thinking it was me in there. She opened the door to find him standing there doing the "helicopter". FML

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Today, I got in a hotel elevator. There was a kid in there also. He got off on the 3rd floor. As he was stepping from the elevator, he decided to press every single button. It's a 35 floor hotel. My room is on the 32nd floor. FML

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Today, after my husband applied for a VA loan so we could move out of our ridiculously overpriced apartment and into our first home as a mortgage would be significantly cheaper, we were denied. If we can afford $1400/month in rent, we surely can’t be trusted with $1000/month for a mortgage, right? FML

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Today, when my mother-in-law told me I was losing weight, my husband started laughing. FML

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Today, at my mother's open-casket funeral, my sister-in-law went to pay her respects. As she stood in front of the body, she coughed, muttering "Bitch" in the process. Either nobody else noticed or nobody cared, and she went on her way, noticeably not choked up at all. FML

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Today, I was posing in front of the mirror, when I realized that everyone who looks at me can easily tell which arm I use to masturbate. FML

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