Animals: Long day

Long day

By Heww - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, after working an 11 hour shift, I decided to treat myself to a delicious Krispy Kreme doughnut. When I got home, I sat down, put my feet up, poured myself a cold glass of milk. My dog jumped on my lap and vomited all over my doughnuts, stared at me, then bit the doughnut out of my hand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 764

You deserved it 5 465

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Same thing different taste

Bad boy

By Anonymous - 08/01/2016 21:57 - United States - Spring Valley

Today, I woke up early to bake cinnamon rolls for a party. I came home later to find the whole tray spilled onto the floor, most of the rolls eaten, and my dog sitting happily nearby. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 831

You deserved it 4 656

All mine

By Anonymous - 12/04/2025 15:00 - United States - Maryland Heights

Today, feeling generous, I bought a dozen donuts for my coworkers. Instead, I ended up taking them into my office and eating all of them in the first hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 85

You deserved it 546

By jessica - 02/02/2011 20:59 - United States

Today, while my boyfriend and I were having sex, he stopped, got off, walked into the kitchen grabbed a doughnut, and came back to finish while he ate it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 385

You deserved it 7 472

Bad boy

By Anonymous - 22/01/2024 05:00 - United States

Today, I'd finally got home from a 15-hour shift at work and wanted to lay down and eat. I poured myself a bowl of cereal, went to my room, and sat it on my bed. My dog then jumped right on my bed and yanked the sheets off, causing the cereal to fly everywhere. FML

I agree, your life sucks 415

You deserved it 245

By FawnPrincess - 17/11/2017 15:00

Today, my boyfriend bought my favorite doughnuts for our anniversary. After settling down and pouring a glass of wine, I grabbed a doughnut and quickly realized the filling inside wasn't jelly. He thought it would be funny to replace it with toothpaste. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 247

You deserved it 456

That escalated quickly

By lonelyharts86 - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - Canada - Toronto

Today, I had an interview for my dream job. I was offered coffee and a donut. It was going well until I took a bite of the donut and started choking on it. I coughed so hard I ended up vomiting into his garbage can. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 272

You deserved it 3 905

Yummy

By Sisi - 29/08/2016 16:49 - United States - Mesa

Today, my roommate left a bomb looking package of cookies on the kitchen counter. My sweet tooth got the best of me and I made that split second decision of, "Oh, I'll just have one." Halfway through it, I noticed the fine print, "For dogs" on the package. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 522

You deserved it 11 356

By killjoyx - 23/07/2015 18:28 - United States - Suffolk

Today, when I woke up, my dog excitedly came up to me and licked my face. A few minutes later, I find out he had thrown up twice before he licked my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 820

You deserved it 3 193

Rushed off my feet

By Anja - 05/07/2024 16:00 - United States

Today, I woke up late and grabbed what I thought was a granola bar on my way out. It wasn’t until I was halfway through eating it that I realized it was a dog treat. I had the godawful taste in my mouth all throughout the day, despite several cans of Pepsi and Mountain Dew. FML

I agree, your life sucks 115

You deserved it 523

Chillin' with Satan

By Anonymous - 06/12/2024 22:00 - United States

Today, I sat down on my couch with a nice cool beer after a tough day at work. I tried opening a bag of chips. The bag exploded, covering me in chips and crumbs, turning me into a sticky human nacho. Well, my dog certainly saw me as a snack, and I had to shower and change clothes. So much for relaxing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 345

You deserved it 162

iSmellNice 2

Monday 28 September 2009 16:12

I feel your pain. I love donuts.

Darsa 0

Monday 28 September 2009 16:18

At least you still had your milk :)

Comments

chanicol 2

Wednesday 24 August 2011 16:33

first, train the dog. 2nd ydi for having all ur doughnuts in your lap. im sorry but 11 hours at work does not justify eating more than one doughnut. maybe two. appears like u had a box. should have been on the table or kitchen.

savemycookie 0

Wednesday 7 September 2011 4:17

And that's why cats are so much better. :) Point proven by the bitch who stole the donut. But yikes, sorry dude. FYL

GruntyGunner 0

Monday 12 September 2011 4:25

Give that dog a nice ass beatingGive that dog a nice ass beating

sjhill 32

Wednesday 14 December 2011 17:45

umm. eww?

samuel1678 0

Wednesday 22 February 2012 20:16

why do people put fake stuff on here?

sarah2144 14

Sunday 4 March 2012 9:55

Once my dog jumped up on the table, stole my piece of cake, ran under a chair, and ate it. He knows he's not supposed to take food; he just doesn't give a shit.

mrme442 1

Saturday 12 May 2012 4:12

LONG'S doughnuts are better

grigri75 35

Tuesday 31 July 2012 1:48

noooooooo! not the doughnuts :o

kezzamumma 3

Wednesday 10 October 2012 15:41

Train it

natsaysheyyy 16

Wednesday 31 October 2012 0:06

Talk about bad training on your end. You shouldn't let a dog just hop up in your lap in the first place. And I'm pretty sure he thought it was cool to snatch food out of your hand because you give him table scraps when he whines, right? Do better training.