Health: Heavy load

Heavy load

By Fattypatty - 09/07/2009 06:21 - United States

Today, I realized how fat I really am. While going to the bathroom I leaned to the side to wipe my butt and heard a crack. Not knowing what it was, I continued to wipe. After I finished, I got up to see that I'd cracked the toilet seat in half. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 332

You deserved it 58 307

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By Beackers675 - 10/05/2022 02:00

Today, I tore my ass crack. No, not my asshole, my ass crack. I don't know why, I don't know how, I just know it hurts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 896

You deserved it 127

HELP!

By SeatofIgnorance - This FML is from back in 2017 but it's good stuff

Today, during an emergency bathroom visit, I finally broke the toilet seat my fiance had nagged me for months to replace. The broken seat sent me sprawling to the floor. I was still shitting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 763

You deserved it 5 464

By Anonymous - 17/03/2011 18:57 - United States

Today, after speeding home due to an overflowing bladder, I ran to the bathroom, forgetting that the toilet seat was broken. While doing my business, the toilet seat and I both slid off the bowl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 032

You deserved it 7 043

By Erin - 10/05/2016 02:18 - United States - Springfield

Today, I fell in the shower, landing ass-crack first onto a can of shaving cream, which split my butt straight down the crack. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 483

You deserved it 1 287

By fatflabbyfail - 20/02/2010 06:09 - United States

Today, after having my bath, I realised that I've gotten so fat that I have to lift up my butt cheeks in order to dry underneath them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 159

You deserved it 42 338

By Ferniferousfern - 20/08/2018 18:30

Today, I sat down to use the bathroom after a long day of work. My toilet, however, had other plans, as a spontaneous, ear shattering crack flooded the entire bathroom, soaking the outer carpet and shorting out my bathroom scale. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 966

You deserved it 156

By pooplife - 30/11/2014 19:32 - United Kingdom - Nottingham

Today, I sat down for a poop. The toilet seat slid off immediately, taking me with it. I lay on the bathroom floor for a moment, stunned, still pooping. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 272

You deserved it 4 972

By ThunderThighs - 23/07/2014 23:24 - United States - Flemington

Today, I was so ashamed of my weight when I sat down and the suction of my thighs made a loud fart noise, I admitted to it being a fart rather than my fat rolls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 212

You deserved it 20 483

By tripleBBB - 09/09/2018 01:30

Today, I was in the shower when I realised that maybe I'm getting a little too fat. I was scrubbing the old belly when a dollar flew out onto the floor. I'm 23. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 713

You deserved it 2 644

By Mary - 05/03/2019 18:00

Today, I tried to go down the stairs two steps at a time. I slipped, fell flat on my ass, and busted my lower lip against my overbite. When I tried to get up, I realized I had also peed my pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 056

You deserved it 1 413

SusanaSaysRawrxD 0

Thursday 9 July 2009 16:16

Diet. Gastric Bypass. Tummy Tuck. Gym. Something! D: and how the **** do you crack a porcelain seat like that? my God. :3

Sue21 0

Thursday 9 July 2009 16:14

wow

Comments

heywood 0

Friday 10 July 2009 9:35

The saddest part of this FML is how many closet nutritionests come out of the woodwork at the slightest mention of obesity. Yes, we get it, eat less and exercise. Thank-you everyone for your expert advice.

ghostgirll 0

Friday 10 July 2009 9:35

cool but i wish you didn't have to go into detail about exactly what you were doing when it cracked. you DID NOT need to mention that you were wiping your ass as it happened.

cmac86 23

Friday 10 July 2009 9:40

God almighty how much do you weigh?! I'm not the skinniest person in the state but I've never been that close to breaking a toilet seat. I'm hoping for your sake that it was one of those real cheap plastic ones.

Mattyknows 0

Friday 10 July 2009 10:05

Why have 8000 people clicked "your life is ******" and not "you deserve it". Of course you deserve it, if you didn't want to be fat you shouldn't have eaten all the ******* pies should you!? YDI for eating all the pies.

hossgray 0

Friday 10 July 2009 18:02

Buncha morons! Knows how to comment anymore!! Everyone just all of the sudden knows all the secrets to losing weight!! All those people are dumbasses!

maddog_fml 0

Friday 10 July 2009 18:52

WAAAAHAHAHAHAHA! Best one of today!!

suziie_fml 0

Saturday 11 July 2009 0:27

aww :[ heyy you should watch this video.. we make a joke about breaking a toilet!.. i didnt think that was possible :/ http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H-f1gP0ua78