Kids, Neighbours and Miscellaneous: Defense!

Defense!

By ruined_suit - 17/04/2009 21:12 - United States

Today, I came home from work to find that my neighbor's trash bins were still on the curb. While returning the bins to her backyard, her kid ran out and shot me with a paintball gun. Multiple times. He thought I was a burglar and ruined my new suit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 130

You deserved it 7 136

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By signupsheetfail - 12/08/2009 19:02 - Canada

Today, I was doing target practice with my new paintball pistol. One of the bullets missed, and hit my new neighbor's house. I went up to the door to apologize, not realizing I was still holding the paintball gun. My ex-soldier neighbor thought I was robbing him and put me in a chokehold. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 882

You deserved it 41 911

Get off my lawn!

By Anonymous - 29/08/2020 14:09

Today, the police came to my house and arrested me. Why? The neighborhood kids thought it would be fun to hide behind my house and shoot at people with paintball guns. People saw it coming from my house and called the police. I was fired from work, due to missing it without notice. No excuses. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 138

You deserved it 112

By bettercallpeta - 15/02/2013 05:42 - United States

Today, I saw my neighbor's delinquent kid shooting squirrels with a BB gun. Shocked and furious at his cruel behavior, I told him to stop, with the threat of telling his parents. He responded by shooting me in the nuts and running away in a fit of laughter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 106

You deserved it 11 157

1, 2, 3… FIRE!

By Username - 11/08/2011 04:53 - United States

Today, I walked out of my house wearing only boxers, only to be greeted by kids with paintball guns. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 000

You deserved it 15 265

By Anonymous - 12/01/2014 17:28 - United States - Sharon

Today, I was walking home from a horrible day at work, when some idiot emptied a trashcan on my head from his apartment balcony. He cried "Oh shit!" and apologized because I wasn't his intended target. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 746

You deserved it 3 734

By Anonymous - 30/04/2012 21:34 - United States

Today, I shot a paintball gun at a bees' nest. The bees flew through my neighbors' windows and, for lack of a better word, slaughtered them. An ambulance was called, and I feel like a total dick. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 571

You deserved it 62 983

Sorry

By FailedSniper - 22/03/2011 16:31 - United States

Today, I saw my dad's friend across the street working on my neighbor's roof. To continue the airsoft war we'd been having, I shot at him with the sniper gun I'd bought. I hit him, and he fell off the roof. I ran over to see if he was OK. It wasn't my dad's friend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 152

You deserved it 54 030

By no - 17/11/2014 02:26 - United States

Today, I got in trouble for shooting my paintball gun at a piece of wood, so my dad told me to go wash it. While I was washing it, he shot me several times in the back, yelling, "That's payback for being born." FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 648

You deserved it 4 007

By iusedprotectionanyway - 21/03/2014 21:44 - New Zealand - Waitakere

Today, I went to a paintball match with my family and the family of my brother's girlfriend. A few minutes into, my brother's girlfriend's dad snuck up on me, unloaded into me from behind, and snarled, "That's for knocking my daughter up." He got the wrong guy. My back is killing me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 247

You deserved it 3 516

Kinda sus

By Anonymous - 08/03/2017 09:00 - United States - Minneapolis

Today, the new security guard of my apartment building tackled me for "suspicious behavior" while I was taking a bag full of dirty kitty litter to the trash chute. He broke my arm and cause the trash bag to explode. When I got back from the hospital, I was fined for littering in the hallway. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 941

You deserved it 308

roll_fukng_tide 0

Saturday 18 April 2009 1:56

damn man. that does suck. my suggestion... get a paintball gun and have some fun of your own :p jk. dont do that.

caligal14 0

Saturday 18 April 2009 2:09

While I don't really know the whole story, but I do know that my neighbors are really nice and just the type of people that would put our trashcans or whatever back in our driveway if they blew away or we left them out, and we'd do the same for them, so... fyl.

Comments

neverland_fml 0

Sunday 19 April 2009 5:02

Go over there and demand they buy you a new suit. Their children should not be playing with guns of any sort and certainly SHOULD NOT be taught to shoot at people--he wouldn't have shot at you if it hadn't been encouraged.

bluesun_fml 0

Sunday 19 April 2009 5:29

Tell me they're paying for the new suit.

bubs_AKA_vermin 0

Sunday 19 April 2009 7:03

call the police on him for vandalism. :)

xerinny 0

Sunday 19 April 2009 23:57

Agree with 18. Why don't you guys believe in being nice people?

SirAndrew 0

Monday 20 April 2009 5:56

They ought to be getting you a new suit

mateo7 0

Monday 20 April 2009 7:09

If I were you, someone would be buying me a new suit. Sucks that this happened to you while you were doing something nice for your neighbor.

maddog_fml 0

Monday 20 April 2009 18:28

******* kids these days. Just say it was Italian or British tailormade suit and let them buy you a new one.

airandfingers 0

Monday 20 April 2009 20:36

YDI for that hanging participle.

nomo_fml 0

Monday 20 April 2009 21:41

Simply make them pay for it. Or you can charge the kid with assault and battery. Meh, either way.

darkx_fml 0

Tuesday 21 April 2009 2:30

#14 wtf are you talking about a paintball is oil based. The paint from it smells like crap once it sinks in and its hard to wash out. To the OP really sucks man dry clean it ASAP